mo Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pitino's Contract Has A Morality Clause
Rick Pitino's contract has a couple vaguely worded clauses that could figure into whatever fate awaits him at Louisville. One refers to "acts of moral depravity," the other to "willful misconduct" that "tends to greatly offend the public."...

Spencer Swindle, Eamonn Daggerpiece To Work For Sunglassed Lurker
Congratulations to these fine gentleman. The SB Nation is poised to become scary good. [SBN]...

Slapfight!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Nationals' Unexpected Success Sends <em>Washington Post</em> Into A Fugue State
The lede to yesterday's game story: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution ..." [Washington Post]...

Is This The End Of John Smoltz?
The 42-year-old was DFA'd a day after he gave up eight runs and nine hits in a loss to the Yankees, raising his ERA to 8.33. Theo Epstein flew to New York to deliver the news in person. [Boston Globe]...

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Appalachian State QB Sidelined By Lawn Mowing Injury
Armanti Edwards, who is 32-5 as App State's starting quarterback, ran over his own foot while mowing the lawn. He'll be out 2-4 weeks. That's why you should only let racist National League baseball fans do your yard work. [TheState]...

The Deadspin 2009 Fall Preview – Featuring A Fire Joe Morgan Reunion
This week's Deadcast guest is the guy who RUINED Deadspin, your editor AJ Daulerio. (Listen here, iTunes here.) And he brings news with him. That news? YOU'RE ALL BANNED AND YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHY....

Summermodo Will Keep You Cool and Make You Cool This Summer
What's summer without a drivable beer cooler? Nothing, that's what. Get the most out of your sun-loving days with Summermodo, a summer-gadgetry wonderland brought to you by Heineken Light....

Status Of Reilly-Simmons Rivalry Captured By Mediaite's Portentous Colored Arrows
The oracle at Mediaite has spoken. The green-arrowed Rick Reilly is on the rise. The red-arrowed Sporting Fellow is in decline. Reilly is squirting grapefruit juice in Bill Simmons' face! [Mediaite, h/t HabsFan29]...

NCAA Expands To Canada; Can University Of Phoenix Online Be Far Behind?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Charmin Now The Official Butt Wiping Cloth Of The NFL
No longer content (or rich enough) to rely on cars and beer to fill their advertising accounts, the NFL just inked a $10 million-a-year deal with Proctor & Gamble to designate their crap "Official Locker Room Products of the NFL."...

ESPN Twitter Memo: The Remix
So now that the infamous memo has been passed around to everyone, ESPN has reworked their guidelines for those individuals still confused or incensed by the policy and what they can and cannot do....

Louis CK Is The Best Stand-Up Comic Of His Generation
I did a horrible, awkward podcast with Jeff Garlin a while back, and he complained that standup comedy is never discussed as an art form. Okay Jeff, well let's do that....

Jay Glazer Is Ready To Make Mortensen's 2009 NFL Season Miserable
Tough start of the week for Mort. First, ESPN takes away his Twitter freedom. And now he's back at training camp and dealing with this asshole again. Which week do you think Glazer TP's the Mort Mobile? [PFT]...

Hardline Twitter Memo Makes ESPN Employees Hilariously Paranoid
ESPN NBA writer Ric Bucher set the World Wide Leader's legion of writers, editors, and on-air personalities with raging Twitter habits into a collective shit-tizzy with one of his updates. Now, a revolution is afoot! Not really....

Sandra Bullock Will Ride Michael Oher To Oscar Glory
For those in the dark, this is the movie version of Michael Lewis' book about Baltimore's No. 1 draft pick Michael Oher, a hulking black kid who was taken into the loving embrace of a lily white family in rural Mississippi after they found him bleeding and hungry on the side of the road. The fact th...

Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
This day was chock full of Tebow news, huh? Some of it was even covered on the definitive internet address for Tebowniacs, TimTeblog.com. I'll give you one guess who is behind TimTeblog and his name rhymes with Shan Danoff....