mo Page 777 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Colts vs. Ravens, 3rd Quarter
- We are back underway... the statistics by these two teams in the first half are remarkably similar. The different is six Colt points off two turnovers. I hope the second features one or more of those "touchdown" things....

Colts vs. Ravens, 2nd Quarter
- Stover from 41, to cut the lead in half... and he just squeezes it inside the upright. And Gumbel's right, ever since Tony Romo did what he did, I do always pay more attention to the snap and hold. And here's another commercial, which is fine, because at this rate, I'm assuming that they're not go...

Colts vs. Ravens, 1st Quarter
- I think I'm going to call CBS and just ask them to not show the game and give me 4 hours of Dan Marino and James Brown laughing about something Shannon Sharpe said. I can't get enough of that. We're still probably 15 minutes from kickoff. Get yourselves strapped in....

Playoff Pants Party: Ravens Vs. Colts
Again, so we don't overrun the site with Pants Parties tomorrow, we thought we'd preview Saturday's first game today. So here you are....

Monday Night Football To Remain 66 2/3 Percent Bald
Whatever your thoughts on Tony Kornheiser on "Monday Night Football" might be — we think the man's hysterical in pretty much every format other than "Monday Night Football" (OK, and CBS primetime) — you best come to grips with them, because he's gonna be back next year....

The Tony Romo Playoff Action Figure
OK, so seriously, the guy has suffered enough ... you saw how bad he looked after that game ... cut him some slack ... he's a young kid who screwed up ... he's having a difficult enough time ... he's just devastated ... aw, see, now this auction is just wrong....

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...

Look Who's Talking On ESPNU
Well, well, look who's branching out. Ladies and gentlefolk, meet the newest college basketball analyst for ESPNU....

Ah, To Be Young And Tony Romo
Another reason YouTube is changing our lives in new and exciting ways: The already infamous Tony Romo fumble moment from Saturday night is being reenacted by spasming lonely fools in their bedrooms. You're totally wrong, Cuban: YouTube is Allah's gift to us all!...

Here's To All That Gorgeous Snatch in FLA
The headline is a quote from Slap Shot, which is both a hockey movie and the first thing I think of when anything hockey-related comes to my attention. The clip is a remarkable sequence from a Thursday night game where Patrik Stefan blew the equivalent of a 2-inch putt, and the commentator acted lik...

We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....

And in Less Bloody Shirt News....
Christ.This is a gratutitous mood-lightening post to veer off the whole Darrent Williams thing for a little while.The Williams story is important, it's tragic, but Jesus Christ, at this rate I'll be posting YouTube clips of Schindler's List to cheer myself up. Anyway, I have one more little piece of...

One More Post Until It's Time to Start Drinking
Bah, I suck at timestamps. Those of you who've already seen the last post, well, sorry about that. I also suck at millitary time. Anyway, here's some news that I found troubling if only because I thought she was dead:...

RAD: Greatest. Movie. Ever.
When Will asked if I was interested in being a guest editor for a day, I said, yes, but only on one condition: I was allowed to do a post about RAD ... the Greatest. Movie. Ever. Unfortunately, for some of you at least, Will told me to go crazy and write whatever the hell I wanted too. Woops!...

If Anything Is Going To Lure Karl Malone Out Of Retirement...
...it will almost certainly be the Memphis Grizzlies "Camo Night," being held tonight in conjunction with the Grizzlies vs. Bucks (and I bet that's not a coincidence) game tonight at the FedEx Forum. Fishermen and hunters of any animal (including little Mexican girls) are encouraged to attend the ...

Some Casting Director Has Their Work Cut Out For Them
Apparently, they'll make a movie about damn near anyone these days. The latest athlete to get the big screen treatment is spectacularly-bearded former Jazz center Mark Eaton. Eaton will be the subject of a film by Stacy Dymalski that will probably not be entitled, "What's Eatin' Mark Eaton?"...

Car Penetrates Fred Smoot's Face
Fred Smoot's jaw is broken in five places as the result of a recent car accident, and he's out of the hospital and recovering, according to Vikings head coach Brad Childress. There aren't a lot of details available at the moment, but there is no reason to believe (well, not much reason, anyway) that...

Tony Romo Cockblocks A Deadspin Commenter
In last month's Deadspin thread discussing the three Thanksgiving NFL games, commenter Wingman said the following:...

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Barbaro
And here we are, the matchup we are personally most curious about, the one featuring the infamous Carl Monday and good ole Barbaro, who would be a late charger if only his hoof would grow. We have been looking forward to this one since this got started....

Yes. It Was, Uh, A Verbal Slip, And In No Way A Glimpse Into A Total Lack Of Football Understanding
If you'll remember yesterday, ESPN "analyst" Desmond Howard made a particularly egregious error during a discussion of the football bowl game he was looking most forward to, claiming it was a California-Texas game that wasn't actually happening. (Cal plays Texas A&M.)...