Monday Night Football To Remain 66 2/3 Percent Bald

Whatever your thoughts on Tony Kornheiser on "Monday Night Football" might be — we think the man's hysterical in pretty much every format other than "Monday Night Football" (OK, and CBS primetime) — you best come to grips with them, because he's gonna be back next year.

Norby Williamson, an ESPN executive vice president, confirmed that the network wants him, saying through a spokesman: "Tony's one-of-a-kind perspective was an integral part of our record-setting inaugural 'Monday Night Football' season. We are absolutely looking forward to his return."

(Norby!)

Unfortunately, Joe Theismann will be returning as well (as will Mike Tirico). Here's hoping Tony dials it up in the offseason and makes driving Theismann slowly mad his singular, obsessive focus. It's your prime directive, Tony, and it's all we ask. It shouldn't be that hard.

Kornheiser Back On Monday Night Football [Newsday]