mo Page 781 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him....

ESPN Mobile Finally Shuffles Off This Mortal Coil
You know, sometimes news in this world breaks, and it's the most shocking event you can imagine. You have to read the story two or three times to make sense of it; can that really be happening? Your fundamental reality changes, and you interpret all that comes afterwards with this new, different s...

Carl Monday, Meet Jon Stewart
You thought Carl Monday, being an Emmy winner after all, was as famous as he could possibly be. But you're wrong: He's about to go mainstream, baby....

New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....

Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....

Jason Whitlock Leaves ESPN With Guns Ablaze
Now that columnist Jason Whitlock has officially written his final column for ESPN Page 2, he is perhaps a bit more free to speak his mind; the kids at AOL Sports, his new online employer, tend to have a thicker skin on such matters....

Week 3, Previewed The Tecmo Way
When we go through our Friday selection of various weekend previews, we hit the usual suspects (King, Simmons, Zimmerman, O.J.) and then always make sure to drop in on The Ex-Burgher's Tecmo Bowl previews. Essentially, he uses the Tecmo Bowl prototype (with updated rosters!) from the Tecmo Super B...

"The Orioles Are Not An Asbestos Lawsuit!"
So the big Orioles protest went down yesterday, and, on the whole, the organizers — disappointingly, a radio station — have to be pleased with the coverage. "SportsCenter" had a short segment on the "Free The Birds" business, though The Washington Post is oddly muted in the paper this morning....

Get Down To Camden To, Like, Protest And Stuff
Somewhere near Camden Yards, right now, there is a lonely protestor, looking for his or her fellow protestors, hoping he or she doesn't make a wrong turn. It is Baltimore, after all....

He Actually Will Wear A Leather Helmet
Need to be reminded of just how old you really are? Old Falcons kicker Morten Andersen, considered one of the best kickers of all time, last made a Pro Bowl in 1996. The guy was an All-American kicker for Michigan State in 1981....

Peter Gammons Has Returned, Just In Time
Baseball Musings had the great news today that Peter Gammons will be back on "Baseball Tonight" tomorrow night, and late today comes even better news: Gammons is writing again, with his first work since his aneurysm in July. Typical Peter, he has an excellent look at the upcoming free agent pitchi...

An Update On America's Dorkiest Sports Feud
So remember, the Sklar Brothers-Bill Simmons feud? Simmons apparently has disliked the "Cheap Seats" hosts' comedy sensibilities for years, and, probably because it's not exactly ESPN's most popular program, Simmons has been allowed to openly mock it in his columns. The Sklar brothers have always se...

Carl Monday Is Being Honored Left And Right, Up And Down, Side To Side
The past two weeks have been plenty good for Carl Monday. Not only was he a charter member of our own Hall of Fame, but he also won ... an Emmy!...

We'll Take It Over Bayless On TV, Anyday
Well, Bill Simmons made his appearance on "The Colbert Report," and, as you'd probably expect, those who can stay up that late are talking about it today. Some are pointing out that he finally confirmed that Red Sox fans are happier when they're miserable, a viewpoint he had disparaged for years; so...

Monday Night And Tuesday Morning Football
You know, we watched football all day yesterday, and it absolutely wore us out. As great as it is, that's a lot of football. But imagine that actually starting at night....

One Last Victory Lap For A Deadspin Hall Of Famer
Ask yourself this: Would you sacrifice 1/17th of your yearly salary in return for one full day of irresponsible drunken sex with on a cruise ship, with the finest multiple partners that money can buy? If you answered yes, congratulations: You can hang with Fred Smoot....

NFL Season Preview: Baltimore Ravens
We are officially at the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their faces for their ...

Hall Of Fame Inductee: Carl Monday
Presenting the final (for now) member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

NFL Pants Party: AFC North
This might be our favorite division in football. Big Ben's bashed up face/appendix combo, Joey Porter, the Bengals cavalcade of feloniousness, Ray Lewis and sex tapes and murder raps ... oh, and the Browns too. What do the kids think?...

Well, Well, Look Who's Going To Be On The Colbert Report
We will confess to being big fans of "The Colbert Report." As hardcore "Daily Show" watchers since the (obviously inferior) Craig Kilborn days, we weren't sure we had time for another half hour of fake news — particularly fake news delivered as a satire of cable news show hosts we don't actually w...