mondaynightfootball Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aw Jeez, The Lights Are Out At Candlestick Again, A Fan Is On The Field, And Big Ben Is Providing Commentary
The lights went back out in Candlestick with 12:13 left in the first half, leading a fan to conclude the time was ripe to run onto the field. Ben Roethlisberger, meanwhile, lamented James Harrison's suspension—while Harrison himself took credit for the outage....

Head Injuries Make Rob Gronkowski Giggle
Rob Gronkowski, Patriots tight end and friend to at least one porn star, scored two touchdowns in New England's 34-3 win over Kansas City last night....

Guys! Mike Vick Nude Photo Scandal Is Not Derailing Tonight's Monday Night Football Party
Radar's suspiciously-named Amber Goodhand reached out to Vick's rep for a reaction about the the alleged nudeness: "The only thing Mike has on his mind is his date with the Chicago Bears this evening," his rep Rick French tells RadarOnline.com. Yeah, us, too....

Come Watch Football With Us Monday Night Before Mike Vick's Nude Prison Photo Scandal Ruins Everything
Or some black guy in a hat who vaguely resembles Mike Vick. Nude Mike Vick or not, it'll still be a splendid night to hang out at our new locale, the Bleecker Street bar, and watch The Dream Team battle the Chicago Bears....

THIS GUY Will Be Calling <em>MNF</em> For Another Five Years
ESPN hailed Gruden's contract extension as an "exclusive" one that will keep him in the booth and out of coaching through 2016. Which means we can all look forward to a lot more of this. [Awful Announcing]...

Shitty <i>MNF</i> Game To Be Matched In Shittiness Only By Shitty <i>MNF</i> Intro
Doing a new one every week could be a good thing. Detroit! Blue collar town. Oh look, there's Barry Sanders! So what does the New York metropolitan area get for Monday's suckfest against the Dolphins? Fireman Ed, and "the passion and loyalty of the fan base." [Newsday]...

The Philadelphia Eagles' Dream Is Still Alive
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Hank Williams Jr. Gets Much-Needed Public Support From Kid Rock
Detroit native Kid Rock celebrated in the Lions' locker room after their 24-13 win on Monday Night Football last night. "I'm Detroit 'til I die," he told gathering reporters....

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

Hank Williams Jr. Has Recorded A Rollicking Obama/<i>Fox & Friends</i>/ESPN Diss Track Called "Keep The Change" (Updated)
You know what's inherently lame? Country music battle songs. In aggressive country music battles, the only gauge for how "bad" someone is is how angrily they can say "America" or "U.S.A." while still maintaining a legitimate twang. Nevertheless, disgraced "Are You Ready For Some Football?" singer ...

ESPN Cuts Ties With Hank Williams Jr., Which Is Like The Nazis Breaking Their Non-Aggression Pact With The Soviets
Says ESPN, regarding Hank's analogizin' the other day on Fox and Friends: "We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of Monday Night Football has always been about the games and that will continue."...

The Hank Williams Jr. Apology Reads Like An Internet Comment In Which Someone Would Compare Obama To Hitler
Hank Williams Jr. posted this apology (for a bizarre Fox News appearance in which he invoked Hitler's name in an Obama analogy) on his Facebook page yesterday, but we hadn't been aware of it until today. Man, oh man, is it a treat. ...

Jon Gruden's Bulge Was Showing Before Last Night's Game
Your morning roundup for Oct. 4, the day we learned where we live made us sick. H/T to Chris. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Hank Williams Jr. Intro Has Been Pulled From Tonight's <em>Monday Night Football</em>
News of the temporary (for now) HWJ absence comes via CBS Sports. You'll recall Junior compared Obama to Hitler. Oh well, let's go back to happier days, 75 pounds ago, before all these Nazi socialists started running the country....

The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Giants LB Michael Boley Celebrates His Return TD By Whipping The Ball At Some Dude's Face
Whatever godforsaken gig has this guy standing on the sidelines—an innocent victim, forced into Boley's warpath—I hope like hell he's getting paid for it....

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread
Hakeem Nicks is likely to play; Steven Jackson will not. So it's Cadillac time in the Meadowlands! The Rams and the Giants both had hopes of competing this year, and one of them is going to have a lot less hope once this is done....

Sadly, There Isn't Video Of Those Prison Guards Who Stabbed And Maced People At The Albuquerque Hooters
Per the KRQE report on shenanigans breaking out during Monday night's Broncos/Raiders game at an Albuquerque Hooters, police really don't know "what specifically set the brawl off." But that doesn't mean there are a lack of details about it....

Your MNF Late Game Open Thread
One gets the sense that when this game was scheduled, someone had dreams of Tim Tebow starting dancing in their heads. Alas, it's not to be, as at least two quarterbacks, Ubaldo Jimenez, and John Elway would all have to get hurt before Tebow gets in this game. Unless...H-back time!...

Here's Ron Jaworski Saying Shit On Monday Night Football (UPDATE: And His Awkward Apology)
We know. We saw too. [h/t Everyone]...