my Page 151 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....

Cleveland Luminaries Join Forces To Win LeBron's Heart Through Terrible Song (CARL MONDAY UPDATE)
UPDATE: Yeah, that's Carl Monday at the 1:57 mark....

The Mets Know How To Seize, Uh ... An Opportunity
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Sioux City Promotional Video Is So Awful, You'll Want To Move There Ironically
By gathering notable townsfolk for this Up With People-esque extravaganza (and by not paying any attention to Starship's lyrics), Sioux City's promo video has now supplanted Cleveland's as the most unintentionally hilarious instance of civic self-love. H/T @edsbs....

Ted Leonsis: Greatest Owner Ever?
As his first act as owner of the Wizards (and the Verizon Center), Leonsis will take down the Washington Mystics' attendance banners. All the Mystics fans will be chartering a single Volkswagen Golf to drive to the protest. [Ted's Take]...

Copycat Who Ran On Field During Phillies Game Contrite, But Wanted To "Prove A Point"
Tom Betz AKA DJ Greaseboner spoke to the media about his failed attempt to get himself tased as an act of solidarity or protest or something equally moronic. [NBCPhiladelphia]...

Live Chat With Justin Halpern About "Shit My Dad Says" And Other Things
Justin's down in the comments section awaiting your questions. His father is not. But you can still curse at him just like his dad would if that's what makes you feel better. And, yes, he knows how Gawker comments work. Buythebook!...

Excerpt From <em>Shit My Dad Says</em>: "Act Like You've Been There Before"
Below is a chapter titled "Confidence Is The Way To A Woman's Heart, Or, At Least Into Her Pants " from SMDS by Justin Halpern, America's premier chronicler of patriarchal affection. Buy the book, read the Tweets, pray for Shatner. Chat at 2....

Come Chat With "Shit My Dad Says" Author Justin Halpern Tomorrow At 2pm EST
It's the amusing Twitter account even your dad likes. And, now, it's a book. Come stop by tomorrow for an excerpt and watch the author bravely navigate the commenting arena which has humbled many an author and vaporized one female comedian....

Here's Another Selection From The Mystifyingly Popular Genre Of Funk-Based Sports Fight Songs
The Cincinnati sports scene and funk music go hand in hand like ... something you had no idea went hand in hand. After seeing the Notre Dame and Reds videos, reader Spencer sent along this Bootsy Collins ode to the 2005 Bengals....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Dick Ebersol Gives ESPN Verbal Purple Nurple At Sports Emmy's Over Jerry Jones Video
"With many ESPN execs ... in the audience watching, Ebersol took out a cell phone and pretended to record Jones. He then said, 'I just wanted a call out to my friends at ESPN-TMZ.'" [SBJ]...

Marginally Talented Yet Newsworthy Players Find A Home In Tennessee
The Titans spent a late draft pick on Myron Rolle, then signed LeGarrette Blount and Stafon Johnson. Forget Hard Knocks; have they done a Real World: Nashville yet? [Titans Online]...

BYU's Top Rusher Withdraws, Possibly Due To Premarital Sex With Girlfriend
Harvey Unga, BYU's leading rusher, is withdrawing from school. So is his girlfriend, basketball player Keilani Moeaki. They're leaving because of a violation of BYU's notoriously strict honor code. Let's speculate!...

Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....

Scott Stapp Ruins America
Scott Stapp, not content with making you hate music, God, and baseball, has decided to ruin America for everyone, too. Here he is, doing unspeakable things to our country's national anthem....

Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...

How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...