my Page 152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Family Values Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Phil Mickelson, who won his third Masters without even having to cheat on his cancer-stricken wife. Days like this make a sportswriter's job real easy....

Jeremy Shockey Is Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places
I.e., on Facebook and Twitter. Shockey is holding a contest for women (he emphasizes the "female" part) to submit a video explaining why he should take them out on a date. This won't end well. [via Chicks In The Huddle]...

Tiger Sums It Up Nicely: "You Suck, Goddammit"
Li'l Eldrick sliced a shot and let off a string off profanity that would make Ned Flanders faint. Related: Verne Lundquist has a degree in psychology and is an expert at reading people. H/T Jenny, H/T Dave....

Watch The Houston Rockets Murder Music
Luis Scola, Chase Budinger and Shane Battier take the stage for Battier's karaoke fundraiser. I'd offer something funnier than "people donated money to get them to stop singing," but I'm busy trying to stanch my ear bleeding. [Click2Houston, via Traina]...

Joe DiMaggio Was A Wuss, And Other Things We Don't Tell Our Kids
Slate compares children's books about ballplayers ("Like many ballplayers, Joe enlisted to fight for his country in 1942") to the biographies written for adults ("[W]hen he concluded that he'd have to enlist … he started to cry"). [Slate]...

The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....

There's No Going Back For Urban Meyer
Yesterday, Meyer apologized to the reporter who he confronted on Wednesday. Both say the meeting was productive and they're ready to move on. So it's all in the past now, right? Not so fast....

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

Oklahoma Freshman "Leavin Skool" To Enter NBA Draft
Tommy Mason-Griffin poetically declared for the draft on Facebook: "its a official dat i am leavin skool....ask me y i aint doin anotha yr yue mite get ignored." Yeah, I think he's gotten all he can from higher education....

Do You Dream of Wearing a Fedora while Rocking a Pro Basketball Jersey?
Then you're a closeted hoopster. Won't you please head over to the Dream Visualizer to see your dream turned into a personalized animation that you can then share with all of your Facebook friends?...

Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...

Boston Fans To Pay For Right To Buy Drinks
Ah, the good old days when the creeping menace of seat licenses were only confined to actual sporting events. Not anymore, thanks to Jerry Remy's new sports bar, and its $500 season passes....

Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...

Time For March Madness Vasectomies Already? A Deadspin Pledge
Like the Filet-O-Fish song, it's a peripheral American tradition: doctors pushing vasectomies during the NCAA tournament. And then, of course, the media breathlessly writing about it....

Steve Alford, Sore Winner: Curses Out Opposing Player
On one hand, you'd like coaches to stop treating players like children. On the other hand, maybe Alford shouldn't be calling college students "assholes" in the handshake line. Especially with a camera two feet away....

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: British Skeletoners
In sports, everyone is a winner- some people just win better than others. Like Amy Williams, whose gold in skeleton summarily refuted two British stereotypes - that they suck at the Winter Olympics, and that they don't have purty teeth....

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....