my Page 154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

<em>Chicago Tribune</em> Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
Sammy Sosa's new face has caused quite an international stir, but no more so than Chicago, specifically, the Chicago Tribune which did three different stories about Sosa's "cabeza blanca" that's captivated the nation....

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
The formerly dark-skinned Sosa spoke out about his ghostly new look and he would like to let everyone know that he's not dying or anything: "It's a bleaching cream," he said. You don't say....

The Handwringing Over Jeremy Tyler's Foreign Adventure Has Begun
Jeremy Tyler left high school to play professionally in the Holy Land, where the plan was to do a credible Kevin Garnett impression and expose the folly of the minimum-age rule. The plan was not to play like Oliver Miller....

Memphis Football Coach Thinks Memphis Maybe Shouldn't Have A Football Team
This is why you generally don't let the coach that you just fired hold a press conference to tell everyone why your school sucks so much. "Help this football program....or do away with it." [MyFoxMemphis, via OnlineSportsGuys]...

Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful!...

Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie
I have no idea what strange transformation Mr. Sosa is going through, but it's obvious that, yes, something is seriously messed up with Slammin' Sammy's pigmentation....

Okay, I'll Be The One To Say It...This Is Hot
BYU and New Mexico had one of the only the chippiest women's soccer games you'll ever see....

Statistical Proof Of Baseball's Strangest Season Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Danny Snyder Doesn't Like Your Heartfelt Signage
Dan Steinberg found this in a trash can outside FedEx Field, where pretty much every form of human expression has been banned. It's clear: Dan Snyder is just a moustache and a pogrom or two short of being Joseph Stalin....

Another Long Night In The Brett Myers Household
In case you missed it, one more special gem from the NLCS celebration last night—Brett Myers goes in for the smooch. Denied. [TheFightins]...

Cranky Old Man Goes Mike Tyson On Neighbors
When the local kids' football landed in his yard, a Michigan man reacted as any of us would: he bit one of their dads on the face. [Sports Rubbish]...

And Let's Just Watch This One More Time...
Even after watching this (literally) 12 times last night, I still can't get enough of it. SBNation had this vid up pretty early so we'll give those lovable bastards the nod....

Two Men And A Little Tommy
Kobe Byrant, the newly single Frank McCourt, and a very sleepy Tommy Lasorda took in Game 2 of the NLCS today. Of course, this was in the fourth inning, so the trio is probably already eating dinner in Malibu....

You, Too, Can Absorb Blake Griffin's Power
Sports memorabilia blogger Andrew Long certainly thought so. So he met up with Griffin at an organized autograph session and presented him with a delicious sandwich. Griffin graciously signed both halves and then Long devoured one, believing that Blake's lifeforce, transferred via bread, will bestow...

And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...

You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....
