my Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Astros Are Confident Brett Myers Won't Punch His Wife In The Face Anymore
"We did our due diligence, we talked to the Phillies, we talked to Brett and we're satisfied that this is not going to be an ongoing problem." [Philly.com]...

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

In ESPN's Defense, I'm Pretty Sure They Accept Passports As Valid I.D.
During their coverage of this afternoon's International Bowl (now involving two countries!), ESPN2 did a fly-by of some of the splendors of downtown Toronto. Naturally, they included the historic Zanzibar strip club, which I understand doubles as the American Embassy....

They Were There, Too
Clearly, I haven't been to any transcendent sporting events live in the last 10 years, and thankfully, that's not true of some of our lurking commenters. Join the party!...

Who Knew Greg Oden's Magical Exploding Kneecap Was Contagious?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let's All Question Myron Rolle's Priorities
The hardest part about writing a fawning profile of Myron Rolle might be getting over to Oxford to interview him. Today, though, The Wall Street Journal adds a wrinkle: Will Rolle's decision to postpone the NFL actually pay off financially?...

Let's All Thank God For Tommy Kelly's Jock Strap
And here's how we send you into this good night. Not just with a de-pantsed football player, but with a de-pantsed lineman. Click through only if you haven't eaten recently....

Charlie Weis Isn't Finished With You Yet
You thought Chuckles was out of your life forever, huh? Guess again, bozos, because this guy hasn't even started making everyone's life miserable. Pete Carroll, Touchdown Jesus, Bears fans....no one will escape the wrath of Weis....

Jimmy Clausen Will Take His Swagger And Tiny Bathing Suits To The NFL
The Jimmy tells ESPN.com that "it's time" and he's taking Charlie Weis' sage advice: "He thought I've improved so much since I came to Notre Dame. So, I'm taking his advice, and I'm going to head out." [ESPN][Pic:Collegegameballs.com]...

Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees Lose (Some Operating Expenses)
The Yankees are looking to cut some $15 million from their 2009 Opening Day payroll of $201 million. Wait, so this means they'll only be able to afford John Lackey or Matt Holliday? Not both? The recession's hitting everybody. [MLB.com]...

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Just Be Thankful It's Not Cablevision
Dan Shanoff fantasizes about a world in which Comcast-NBC is an "online sports juggernaut" and Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, and Tommy Craggs do trust falls at the company picnic. [Dan Shanoff / Pic via]...

Welcome To The Errordome
Not sports, but must be noted. Washington Post: "A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number." [WashPost, via]...

November: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from November, ranked low to high....

Canada A Little Sensitive About The Olympics
A reporter crossing the border into British Columbia was detained by agents fearful she might be coming over to criticize the Vancouver Games. After all, gotcha journalism is the worst kind of terrorism....

The One With All Sorts Of Crap
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Tim Donaghy's Gambling Buddy Would Like To Imply A Few Things
Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" caught up with Jimmy Battista, the recovering drug/gambling addict who bankrolled Tim Donaghy's awesome NBA bets and went to jail for it. He now has a few sinister insinuations he'd like to get off his chest....

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....