my Page 165 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NCAA Pants Party: BYU Vs. Texas A&M
Brigham Young Cougars (27-7) vs. Texas A&M Aggies (24-10) When: Thursday, 7:10 p.m. Where: Anaheim...
About Last Night
What you missed while fleeing random monkey violence ... • NBA: Celtics win on St. Patrick's Day. This would be significant if any of their players were Irish. • MLB: Mr. Baseball ... Matsuzaka to start for Red Sox in Japan opener. • NHL: Wild beat Avalanche to climb into first. Thank you for watchi...
Brigham Young Cougars
1. My Left Foot. BYU lost to UNLV for the second straight year in the Mountain West championship game, but one has to wonder if things would have been different had the Cougars' 6-foot-11 Vuk Ivanovic still been on the roster. Ivanovic, a native of Serbia and Montenegro, broke his foot during practi...
Lasorda Back With Dodgers; Still Fat
To help us to get into shape for baseball's opening day, here's a mini Closer. I promise I will not take out the catcher ......
High Tech Underpants For The Sportsman On The Go
For those of you who are planning to take advantage of that NCAA Tournament vasectomy special we mentioned over the weekend, you're surely gonna need a pair of these for your recovery period. I own several pair, and I'm not even considering surgery....
Tommy Bowden Wants Your Publicity, And Then He Wants You Gone
You might remember the touching story of Ray Ray McElrathbey, the Clemson reserve tailback who was receiving assistance from the NCAA after taking custody of his 11-year-old brother (their father is a gambling addict, the mother, into crack cocaine). Great story, makes Clemson sound like a happy pla...
Go From A 16 Seed To A No Seed
MVN Outsider points to a snippy (tee hee) promotion that ensures that if, you know, you're a fella who wants an excuse to watch the entire NCAA Tournament and also is interested in rendering himself sterile, you needn't wait until after the tourney....
Aaron Rodgers Assures Cheeseheads He Is In Fact Aaron Rodgers
We are - and possibly always will be - in the throes of the media's fawning send-off to Brett Favre (Wright Thompson is still crying). His successor at Packers QB, Aaron Rodgers, yesterday felt the need to issue one of those communiques that new heads of state usually do when an important leader ste...
Forever In Debt To Your Priceless Advice
The Spurs, already with one disgraced college coach at the helm of their D-League team, have brought on Kelvin Sampson in an advisory role. Maybe he give them some tips on 'roiding, as Steroid Nation questions whether he was showing telltale signs of a juicer....
Felix Pie Out With A YEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW
The Cubs have suffered a spate of unfortunate and somewhat bizarre injuries already this spring. Alfonso Soriano has a fractured finger. Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt. Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat. But none has a painful tale a...
The Editor-In-Chimp Is Here
Much of your human world continues to horrify and confuse me, most of all your bizarre construct of weekdays. The one you call Will has cast me into my Monday bondage by bludgeoning my mate to death with his advanced human weaponry. How ever did you concoct stick with a nail in it? Sadly, I am now i...
Night Of The Killer Zamboni
• Help! I don't know how it works! • Bob Knight is an ESPN analyst! I see no way this can end badly. • The St. Louis Cardinals post that almost wasn't. • Canadian hockey players remind us that high school is supposed to be fun. • Will goes on a tropical island vacation, wakes up in the Scottish mili...
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...
Happy Leap Day, Everyone!
So does today actually exist or not? After watching Lost last night, I'm more confused than ever ... and this article is no help. Anyway, on the off chance that today really does exist, I'll be posting a full day's worth of sports outtakes, bloopers and practical jokes. Will is still on vacation, so...
This Cardinals Post Will Self-Destruct In 30 Seconds. Good Luck, Jim
OK, let's just keep this little post between you and I, OK? I purposely waited until now to put it up, knowing that Will would be scuba diving. Shhh. First, old business (two days old, but whatever, it needs to be addressed). It seems that Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa still does not believe that M...
R.I.P. Myron Cope
Beloved Pittsburgh Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope died today at the age of 79. We asked Mondesi's House to put together a retrospective....
We Can Only Imagine What The Parent-Teacher Conferences Are Like
Further proof that Texas is tougher than your state: Even the first-grade teachers are bad-ass. A couple of them engaged in fisticuffs at a youth basketball game on Saturday, leaving one bloody and bruised, and the other on the lam from police. No word yet on whether either of them is hot....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
About Last Night
What you missed while plagiarizing a blog post for your story on plagiarism ... • College basketball: You win this round, Duke. But we'll meet again! (shakes fist). • NBA: Hornets pull out 132-130 win over Suns as Shaq observes from on high. • NHL: Capital gains ... Washington 4, Philadelphia 3....