NBA Finals Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Warriors Didn't Even Need Their Stars To Wallop The Cavs
Here’s how thorough the whooping the Warriors bench put on the Cavaliers in tonight’s 104-89 beatdown was: Shaun Livingston got a curtain call; the Cavs’ best highlight was a nutshot; Brandon Rush and Timofey Mozgov played; Golden State’s bench outscored Cleveland’s 45-5 before a brief garbage time ...
Matthew Dellavedova Thumps Andre Iguodala In The Dick And Balls
Earlier today, we had Matthew Dellavedova atop our rankings of the most hateable players in the NBA Finals, and he lived up to his billing in short order, striking the first blow against an opponent’s dick and balls. The victim? Andre Iguodala....
Donald Trump Doesn't Know Shit About The Bay Area
Vulgar olive loaf Donald Trump is hitting the campaign trail in California in advance of the state’s June 7 primary. A good way to appeal to your constituents is to show that you’re “one of them” by feigning nominal interest in their sports teams. If you do this, though, you should have a working se...
Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejão Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring
The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters....
Dan Gilbert Is A Child
So you’re still having trouble deciding which NBA Finals team to root against. It’s tough! So many hateable players on both sides. Perhaps the tiebreaker can be found in the owner’s suite....
An Extremely Helpful NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
Hello, casual basketball viewer! The NBA Finals begin tonight, pitting LeBron James’s Cleveland Cavaliers against Ayn Rand’s Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last season’s Finals, which the Warriors won in six games. Here’s what to expect, what to look for, and what to pretend to know about eac...
Marshawn Lynch Embraces Draymond Green's Mom For Talking "Real Shit"
Oakland native and Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch is on the premises for today’s Warriors NBA title celebration, and somehow ended up live on CSN with Dramond Green’s mother. Lynch was so moved by Ms. Babers-Green that he risked his own mother’s disapproval and hugged the Warriors forw...
Draymond Green Burns Cavaliers, Is Enjoying Himself At Warriors Rally
“Cavaliers? Nope. We won? Yupp. They suck? Yupp. We here? Yupp. They not? Nooope.” Draymond Green is in an especially, uh, blithe mood at today’s Golden State Warriors victory rally. Then he did this:...
Why Should LeBron James Let David Blatt Pretend To Be The Coach?
ESPN.com has produced a piece of exceptional reporting on Cleveland’s run through the NBA Finals, with reporter Marc Stein coming away from the series with a notebook stuffed full of telling details about how LeBron James not only dragged a raft of corpses within touching distance of a championship,...
RIP To Matthew Dellavedova And His Terrible, Beautiful Lob Passes
For a minute there, it looked like Matthew Dellavedova, little try-hard that he is, was going to become a Finals hero for the Cleveland Cavaliers. That didn’t really work out, but that’s not to say that Delly didn’t provide us with a great deal of entertainment, because oh man did this guy do some h...
Leandro Barbosa Is A Happy, Drunk Champion
From Bay Area Sports Guy comes this fun clip of Warriors backup guard Leandro Barbosa holding court in the postgame locker room. Is he drunk and happy? Hell yeah he’s drunk and happy....
MVP Award Be Damned, These Were The LeBron Finals
This is a statistical accomplishment I honestly never considered was even possible: in the NBA Finals, LeBron James led all players on both teams in points, assists, and rebounds. That’s a Finals first—obviously—and in the first two categories, it wasn’t even close. The Warriors won as a team; the C...
J.R. Smith's End-Of-The-Season Handshakes Are Sadder On A Hoverboard
Look at this man, just slowly rolling through a crowded arena as he heads off to wherever he is going to spend the offseason. ...
Andre Iguodala Wins Finals MVP, Deserves All This Damn Shine
Andre Iguodala won the Finals MVP vote 7-4 over LeBron James (Steph got 0 votes). This makes it four Finals in a row that that MVP goes to LeBron or the guy checking him, and few guys in the league deserve a spot to shine quite like Dre. Below is a post from just after he shouldered his way into the...
The Golden State Warriors Are Your 2015 NBA Champions
This is the most sportswritery thing I’ll ever write, but all season long the Golden State Warriors won as a team. Sure, Stephen Curry was the MVP of the league, but he was far from a one man band. Klay Thompson, Draymond Green, and Andrew Bogut all won league-wide awards. After two stagnant season,...
Steph Curry Stinkface Shows He Always Chooses Luigi In <i>Mario Kart</i>
Stephen Curry brought some of the swagger back during last night’s Game 5 win against the Cavaliers, at one point delivering the stinkface following a fourth-quarter contested three-pointer—a shot that responded to LeBron’s long-range bomb seconds before, and one that gave the Warriors the lead for ...
Here Is Another Picture Of Timofey Mozgov For Us To Cherish
At first glance, this picture of Timofey Mozgov doesn’t seem like much. It’s from his Facebook page, and comes with the caption “With my Russian agents (ProTeam Agency). Before the game,” which doesn’t signal anything special, but then you notice Mozgov’s SpongeBob shirt. And then you remember that ...
LeBron James Is Confident "Because I’m The Best Player In The World"
If he was a pitcher throwing this absurd a number of innings or pitches, we’d fear he was going to blow his arm out. If he were a hockey player double-shifting constantly, we’d assume he’d be gassed and ineffective. If he were a running back being run into the ground, we’d worry about his career bei...
For The Undermanned Cavaliers, Fatigue Has Set In
What the hell else are the Cavaliers supposed to do? In Game 5 they conceded that the Warriors’s small ball unit was too good, and barely played Timofey Mozgov. LeBron James went off for a monster 40 points, 14 rebounds, and 11 assists (and only two turnovers). J.R. Smith finally (at least for awhil...