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![Jane Doe Testifies About The Night She Says Derrick Rose Raped Her [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wtdgccahffrwtzh7mgzo.jpg)
Jane Doe Testifies About The Night She Says Derrick Rose Raped Her [Updated]
Jane Doe, the woman who alleges that New York Knicks guard Derrick Rose and two friends raped her in 2013 and is suing them in civil court in Los Angeles, testified today that she doesn’t remember much about that night. She does remember having a lot to drink during the night, several shots of vodka...
World Champion Pole Vaulter's Explanation For Positive Cocaine Test Totally Worked, Somehow
World champion pole vaulter Shawnacy Barber tested positive for cocaine after winning the Canadian Olympic trials in July, but was allowed to compete in Rio after an arbitrator ruled that he inadvertently ingested the cocaine while kissing a woman he had solicited for sex on Craigslist the night bef...
Blake Griffin Picked Up A Cool New Skill In The Offseason (Throwing Shoes At People)
They say the summer is a time to refine your game, learn new skills, and hone your craft. Blake Griffin took that to heart, apparently, and his new skill is cool as hell. It’s throwing shoes at opponents. Cory Joseph probably thought he was not going to catch Jamal Crawford’s size 17 to the mouth to...
The Derrick Rose Trial Is Already Getting Intense
After a day and a half of jury selection, the Derrick Rose civil trial finally made its way today to opening statements. According to reports from the courthouse, things got intense almost immediately. Jane Doe’s lawyer Waukeen McCoy gave a very graphic description of the alleged gang rape, the New ...
The Warriors Will Be Fun And Deadly And None Of It Matters Until May
The Golden State Warriors beat the Los Angeles Clippers 120-75 last night. Most of that lead was built in the first half, when both teams were still playing starters. You were probably watching the vice-presidential debate or the AL Wild Card game instead, because you rightfully don’t give a single ...
Joel Embiid Finally Made It Onto An NBA Court
831 days after being becoming the No. 3 overall pick in the 2014 NBA draft, Sixers center Joel Embiid played in his first real(ish) NBA game against real NBA players....
Jeff Van Gundy Advocates Zero-Tolerance Policy For Domestic Violence Offenders
The Houston Rockets and New York Knicks met in the preseason this evening, and ESPN announcer Jeff Van Gundy used the occasion of Derrick Rose’s first appearance with the Knicks to make some points about domestic violence and how Adam Silver and the NBA should deal with players who are convicted of ...
You Probably Won't See Ben Simmons Play This Season
The Philadelphia 76ers confirmed this afternoon that Ben Simmons’s foot injury was a Jones fracture. This was the most-feared scenario for the rookie, not only because the history of big men with foot problems is not full of happy endings, but because a Jones fracture in particular is a tricky injur...
Jim Harbaugh Got The Train Formation From Some High School Film
In the closing moments of the first quarter of Saturday’s 14-7 over Wisconsin, Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh’s offense lined up in a formation that almost nobody outside of Littleton, Colo. had ever seen....
Do Assholes Know They’re Assholes?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, are you going to New York Comic Con? Of course you are! All the best nerds are gonna be there: Lewis, Gilbert, Booger, Wormser, etc. And I’ll be there tomorrow, too. So come on by the Penguin booth at 10:00 am and get a ticket for a free copy of The Hike (I’ll sign it ...
That's Not Even Close To How You Pronounce Giannis Antetokounmpo's Name
Look, “Antetokounmpo” has a lot of letters in it. A-N-T-E-T-O-K-O-U-N-M-P-O. Not the easiest name to pronounce! That, however, is nowhere close to whatever Stacey King said here....
LeBron James Endorses Hillary Clinton In Op-Ed
LeBron James is endorsing Hillary Clinton in an op-ed published today at Business Insider and appearing tomorrow in the Akron Beacon-Journal, saying that the Democratic candidate “will build on the legacy of my good friend, President Barack Obama.”...
Michigan Seals Win Over Wisconsin With Insane One-Handed Interception
A crazy one-handed interception by Jourdan Lewis late in the fourth quarter sealed the deal on no. 4 Michigan’s victory over no. 8 Wisconsin....
Chris Bosh Criticizes Pat Riley, <em></em>Vows To Return To The NBA
Five days after Pat Riley announced that Chris Bosh’s career with the Miami Heat was over, Bosh has responded—vowing to return to the NBA and saying that Riley did not tell him about the team’s decision before sharing it with the media....
Ben Simmons Fractures A Bone In His Foot
Philadelphia 76ers number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons has fractured “the fifth metatarsal bone of his right foot,” the team announced. The injury was suffered when he rolled his ankle while scrimmaging earlier today, and the team didn’t announce a projected recovery timeline....
Pacifist Joakim Noah Declines To Attend Knicks Event At West Point
The Knicks always start their training camp with a weeklong session at the U.S. Military Academy, and each year they close with a team dinner with cadets, including a speech by a current or former officer. This year, new Knicks center was the only player not to attend the dinner, and he had his reas...
Tim Duncan Is The Spurs' New "Coach Of Whatever He Feels Like"
The Gregg Popovich-Tim Duncan relationship one has been magical for a long time:...
Derrick Rose's Lawyers Still Want To Bring Up Jane Doe's Past
Attorneys representing Derrick Rose and the woman accusing him of rape filed a flurry of motions yesterday and today, with several concerning whether the woman’s sexual history is relevant and can be brought up at trial....
ESPN Runs Memphis Grizzlies Puff Piece Written By Guy The Grizzlies Just Hired<em></em>
This morning, ESPN published a positive and forward-looking profile of new Memphis Grizzlies head David Fizdale, focusing on his first practice yesterday. It was written by veteran NBA writer and ESPNer Michael Wallace—an awfully strange choice considering that last week Wallace announced that he wa...
Lamp Switches, Ranked<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, I must note that the parade of tiresome book-flogging continues next month at New York Comic Con. On 10/6 at 10:45am, the Penguin booth at the Con will be giving away 30 copies of The Hike for free. And then there’s a panel and another signing later that day. So put on...