NBA Page 513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

This Is Encouraging, Wizards Fans: Andray Blatche Says Randy Wittman Is "The Same Coach As Flip"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the rudderless Wizards drift closer to the rocks....

Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...

Jason Richardson Entered A Game In The Middle Of A Play Last Night And Got Away With It
The Magic scored just 56 points and made only 16 field goals in their blowout loss to the Celtics, who were without Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. But that might not have been the worst of it for Orlando: At one point here in the third quarter, they had just four players on the court during a defensiv...

The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...

Pau Gasol Passes Like Ricky Rubio
There must be something in the water, since all shaggy-haired Spaniards seem to have a preternatural ability to find an open teammate without having to actually see them. A cutting Gasol drew both his man and Andrew Bynum's, and a nifty little over-the-shoulder dump to Bynum was pretty and pretty ...

UCF Pre-Med Coed Propositions Dwight Howard
These girl-propositions-an-athlete videos are becoming a bit of an epidemic, aren't they? Today we have Margo. She is a junior at the University of Central Florida who dreams to one day be a pediatrician. And has she got a deal for Dwight Howard. Margo admits to stealing the idea from our sorority...

JaVale McGee's Mother Has Some Ideas About How The Washington Wizards Should Showcase JaVale McGee
The Washington Wizards may be complacent on the court, but no one works harder on finding hilarious ways to be dysfunctional. Today's contributor: JaVale McGee's mommy, who has complaints about her son's playing time, his role in the team's offense, and whether he's being coached properly....

Big Baby Depantses Self, Gets Called For A Technical
Is it depantses or pantses? Or just pants? Whatever it is, Glen Davis did it to himself a la Steve Lyons, and it earned him a technical foul—one about which he's visibly confused. [Sun Sports]...

If Hillary Clinton Farted Near Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, This Is Probably What It Would Look Like
Abdul-Jabbar — bearing a copy of his new book — was in Washington today to be officially named a United States global Cultural Ambassador. He and Clinton posed for photos, the only one of which that matters at right....

Ticket Prices For The Next Wizards Home Game Have Jumped 60 Percent In One Day ... To $3.99
Those same seats for Friday's game against the Nuggets were going for just $2.50 yesterday afternoon. Which was way up from the 30 cents apiece a few guys shelled out to see the Raptors last week. At just under four bucks a pop, you too can catch Wizards fever. I think. [StubHub]...

Scrappy White Guys: Not Just For Baseball Anymore
NBA.com released its annual GM survey, and there's a cornucopia of fun little items, like the fact that nobody would want to build a franchise around Kobe, but they want him taking the last shot. Tucked in at the bottom is one vaguely worded question: "Which player does the most with the least?" The...

Kevin Love Doesn't Really Have A Good Answer For Why He Hasn't Signed An Extension With Minnesota
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Love has eight days before gaining RFA status....

100 Percent Of The NBA's Asian-American Population Now Plays In The D-League
That was quick. Adrian Wojnarowski is reporting that Jeremy Lin is headed for a stint with the Erie Bayhawks, along with Jerome Jordan. Lin apparent failed to impress the Knicks' front office with his 1.8 PPG in five appearances, and with Baron Davis' return looming, Lin looks like a long shot to re...

<em>Philadelphia Daily News</em> Columnist Marcus Hayes Suggests NBA Players Don't Know Who Their Fathers Are
Here's a clip from today's Daily News roundup program on CSN Philly, where a discussion of the Minnesota Wild team members bringing their fathers on a trip to play the Flyers tonight is brought to a grinding halt by columnist Marcus Hayes's "It's a good thing they don't do that in the NBA."...

This Fan Behind Charles Barkley Is Awfully Excited To Be Holding A Ukulele
Your morning roundup for Jan. 17, the day we learned virginity does not prohibit reproduction or porn stardom. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Oh, Dwight Howard Decided He's Now Open To Playing For The Clippers Too
I bet, when you heard that Dwight Howard asked for a trade from Orlando to the Lakers, Mavericks, or Nets, you thought he was a front-runner. (OK, the Nets aren't so "front," but they do offer nearly unlimited access to Jay-Z and Howard could live in Manhattan.) You thought Dwight Howard only wanted...

Turns Out That African Fellow Running A Gold-For-Sale Scam Was Dikembe Mutombo
WHO WANTS TO SEX BUY $10 MILLION WORTH OF CONFLICT MINERALS FROM MUTOMBO?...

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee
Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like ...

Hubris Runs Massive Ship Aground, So Naturally Its Owner Also Runs The Miami Heat
Micky Arison, besides owning the Heat, is CEO of Carnival Cruise Lines. Carnival operates the Costa Concordia, the Italian cruise ship that will likely be the most expensive maritime loss in history. This is all one big, involved metaphor for something, probably maybe....