NBA Page 567 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Newcastle Signs Peter Parker, Goblin Attacks Up 32%
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Ron Artest's Hair Odyssey
His rebounds and steals per game are down for the year. But Ron Artest still means defense! Or at least he's gotten it dyed in his newly-platinum hair, in three different languages. He thinks that's what it says, anyway....
It Was Quite A Night In Cleveland
It was a night of Snuggies, seizures and six (wins in a row for the Cavs) at the Quicken Loans Arena....
A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...
Wizards Tickets Less Valuable Than A Pot Of Coffee
The NBA has an exciting new promotion where fans can earn two free tickets to a Washington home game simply by drinking five cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Or save up for a sixth cup....and get another cup of coffee!...
Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...
This Explains A Little More About AI's Absence
Tawanna Iverson filed for divorce, after 8 1/2 years of marriage. Unemployed father, sick child, broken home; it's like the Iversons are a microcosm for every recession-hit Rust Belt family. Besides the millions of dollars. [Philly Daily News]...
Clippers Add To Their Distinguished Record Of Racial Sensitivity
I have no idea what's going on in this press release, except that the Steven Esparza in question is a media services assistant with the team, and that the Clippers are an abomination of a franchise. [NBA.com, via @HoopsHype]...
Grizzlies Fan Enters The Pantheon Of Painful Trampoline Dunk Failures (UPDATE)
Last night, one lucky Memphis fan got the chance to dunk off of a trampoline. He managed the dunk itself, but what followed was yet another reminder of the perils of using springy devices to propel ourselves skyward. [NBA.com]...
Well, That AI/Philly Reunion Was Fun
The Sixers announced Allen Iverson won't return to the team, ostensibly to spend time with his ailing daughter. Then why was he in Charlotte over the weekend, partying it up with Jermaine Dupri? [Philly Daily News]...
Al Jefferson Busted For DWI, Maybe Definitely
Certainly, some Al Jefferson with the same birthday as the Wolves center got pulled over and charged with a DWI last night. If Rand says it's so, then it's so. [Hennepin County Sheriff]...
Cavs To Set World Record For Sissiest World Record
There are a handful of down-on-their-luck teams chomping at the bit to sign LeBron James. He'd be the only attraction they'd need to sell tickets. Meanwhile, Cleveland is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most Snuggies....
Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...
Basketball Players Should Touch Each Other More Often, Science Urges
Scientists, those smart people who split the atom and cured polio, have charted hugs and high fives for every NBA team and concluded that, as The New York Times puts it, "good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."...
Marquis Daniels' Bling Head Is Tasteful, Understated
Boston guard Marquis Daniels (9.4 PPG, lifetime) had his actual head encrusted in diamonds and precious metals. Oh, wait. That's just a medallion. I guess even Marquis Daniels needs help recognizing Marquis Daniels. [Jason of Beverly Hills]...
Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....
D-League Ball, Up Close And Personal
The Bakersfield Jam have pioneered the "luxury basketball experience," in which all of the 420 in attendance get front row seats. It's like Medieval Times, with Reece Gaines. [D-League Digest, via SbB]...
Longhorn Girl Meets Her Sad, Disturbing Match
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Shaq, Dwight Howard Resolve Nerdiest Beef Ever
Howard: "[T]here's no battle of nicknames. I mean, if he wants to be Superman, he can be Superman. But I never tried to steal that title from him or take away anything that he's done for the game." [ESPN]...
And The Crowd Goes <em>Meh</em>: A Gallery Of Bored People At The Slam Dunk Contest
Gawker.TV's David Matthews watched Saturday's dunk contest and collected all the indifferent reaction shots of a crowd that seemed to think it was watching the Bob Hope Classic. Here's Dwyane Wade, dislocating his own jaw out of sheer boredom. [Gawker.TV]...