nba Page 677 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...
Scott Raab Shaved "QUITNESS" Into His Head For LeBron's Return
Esquire's Scott Raab, whose LeBron Watch here chronicled Cleveland's inevitable doom last summer, still is not quite cool with LeBron James, the Whore of Akron....
The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...
Keeping An Eye On CBS's Eye On Sports Stories About Eye Injuries
We haven't exactly lived up to the return challenge to never post anything regarding "death" or "spin" since we pointed out Eye On Baseball's story on Luis Salazar's lost left eye a few weeks ago, but we do feel it is our new duty to keep an eye on the CBS sports blogs' eye injury stories. Today: Ma...
The Hissy Fit Over The Kings Enters Angry Letter-Writing Phase
The Maloof brothers are determined to move their basketball team to Anaheim. But Kevin Johnson, the mayor of broke-ass Sacramento, isn't having it, not unless the Maloofs first pay off the $77 million they owe. So Sacramento fired off a snippy letter to Anaheim (see below). This is correspondence fr...
Look At Shawn Marion's Disgustingly Dislocated Pinkie
Shawn Marion could care less that his pinkie looks like this and terrifies small children. He doesn't plan to get it fixed. He feels no pain. Good thing this is on his left hand (just saying). A few more nasty details from ESPN's Dallas outpost:...
40-Year-Old Sheryl Swoopes Unretires To Join Something Called "Tulsa Shock"
Sheryl Swoopes retired from the WNBA in 2008 after averaging 7 and 4 for the Seattle Storm, her worst such figures as a pro. As of 2005, Swoopes endorsed lesbian cruise line Olivia, so presumably she redeemed some vouchers to travel to Greece last year. There she played for Ravenna Esperides, alongs...
Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....
Here's Video Of The Game-Winning Backdoor Alley-Oop In Last Night's Blazers/Spurs Game
The box score will show that the Portland Trail Blazers (42-30) defeated the San Antonio Spurs (57-15) by a score of 98-96 last evening. The replay shows the fantastic manner in which the game's final two points were scored....
Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....
Packers DL Johnny Needs To Find A Legal And/Or Cheaper Way To Get His Jollies
Johnny Jolly, who was arrested in 2008 for possession of over 200 grams of codeine—and subsequently suspended for the entire 2010 NFL season—applied for reinstatement on February 11....
You May Have Missed Emeka Okafor's Absurd Buzzer-Beater Last Night
While his alma mater advanced to the Elite 8 last night, Hornets center Emeka Okafor went for some Laettner-esque heroics (too soon?) at the buzzer in Salt Lake City. This nifty shot sent the game into overtime, and even playing without David West in the extra period, New Orleans won 121-117....
White Basketball Players Are Funny Because They're White
Make no mistake about it: "Scooch & Josepi" ain't nobody's kind of people. Per their site: "Their work covers all facets of satiracle comedy, including cultural diversity, and other controversial topics. If you don't like it…WHATEVER BRO."...
Rajon Rondo Won't Shoot If You Pay Him
Via TBJ, Rajon Rondo pulls up on the breakaway rather than attempt the risky (for him) uncontested layup. Rondo finished the night shooting 2-12, which brought his season percentage down, but not by much....
NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White
The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredet...
Rodney Stuckey Is The Latest To Embarrass Chris Bosh
Since Miami beat Detroit last night, 100-94, and since the Heat (49-22) are already in the playoffs while the Pistons (25-46) decidedly are not, all we can really say about this game is that Chris Bosh still found a way to make it embarrassing for the guys in red. Here's Rodney Stuckey, the doll o...
Yao Ming Resurfaces To Preview A Sad, Sad Video Shoot
Jesus. What is this? There's Yao in a leg brace, perhaps never to emerge. There's a barren set with a dirty floor. A sinister-looking man dressed in black sits beside Yao in a high chair. Is this a shoot for an evil podiatry ad? Yao has yet to explain himself. But Nan from China is thrilled:...
Here's JaVale McGee's Pretty Nuts Mid-Air Steal-Block
So what if JaVale McGee authored the second-worst triple-double ever last week, while on the wrong side of a blowout? He still had 12 blocks!...
Jerking Off In Congress: A Bipartisan Debate
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering semen, allergies, boogers, and more....