needs - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
1st Round, Fourteenth Overall: Bears Select Chris Williams
There are worse things to watch than the Bears offense. For example, there's: 1) Put up Your Dukes 2) Your maiden aunt shaving her legs, etc. 3) Fake-reality YouTube videos of a teenage emo-girl whispering her breathy secrets ("my parents hate me") into a webcam 2.3 millimeters away from her chin....
It's TV or Nerd SimCity, Your Choice
One wonders if Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax was a big sports guy — we're gonna assume "no" until his estate can prove otherwise — but even he would admit there's a hell of a lot of actual worthwhile games today. The Rockets try to continue their winning streak against the Lakers. The SEC ch...
Words Fail Us. Please Proceed To Photo
Well, women's professional golf has just advanced on my list of favorite sports from No. 109 to No. 63 ... just ahead of cheese rolling, but still behind rugby and Calvinball. The dramatic upsurge in the standings is due to Anna Rawson, who earned her LPGA tour card this week. We are absolutely ce...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to avoid contact with Red Sox fans at all costs... • MLB: Yankees vs. Indians. Will this be the end of Roger Clemens? Probably not. [TBS] • NFL: Chicago at Green Bay. Who cares about the score, what's the over/under on interceptions? [NBC] • TV: Curb Your Enthusiasm: "The ...
About Last Night
What you missed while driving the real Batmobile ... • NFL: The Saints are 0-3, but you can't beat this gumbo. Tennessee 31, New Orleans 14. • MLB: Brewers decide that three games out of first with six to play is a good time to make their move. Milwaukee 13, St. Louis 5. • Cricket: Of all the champi...
The Knicks Know How To Handle A Problem
The Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case updates will come earlier today, mainly because we really can't get over just how Cro-Magnon Madison Square Garden appears to be as a place of business. We know a couple of women who work over there ourselves, actually, and we want to tell them to get the hell...
Sunday Game Update Bukkake
Apparently the Patriots are good (but we still hate them). Randy Moss hauls in nine for 183 yards and all the white Patriots fans can glory because Wes Welker got in the endzone as well. Did Belichick shake Mangini's hand? Do I care? Well, actually — no, I mean, no....
Witness The Raw Might Of Tony Gwynn
We make no claims to physical supremacy, or aptitude, or even the ability to walk 40 feet without heaving. But surely, new Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn isn't this weak....
Boston Media Will Now Officially Cover Anything (And So Will We)
Because no Boston Red Sox stone shall be left unturned over NESN, Scott's Shots points out an odd video that features Manny getting intimate in his hotel room — watch yo mouth! — with his hairdresser, named LMonstro. (You have to sit through an annoying ad to watch the video.)...