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Watch A Chelsea Player Take Cleats To His Back And Decide For Yourself Whether It Was Intentional
In today's EPL match between Chelsea and Sunderland, Juan Mata of the former felt some cleats drive into his back from the foot of opponent Phil Bardsley....

Now The Phillies Have Decided To Affect The Outcome Of Milwaukee's Sausage Races
"Before the top of the sixth began, [second baseman] Pete Orr forgot to look both ways when exiting the dugout and accidentally stepped in front of five racing sausages. He ducked between Polish and Italian but smacked into Hot Dog. The fans booed the sheepish Canadian, who smirked as an entire du...

At Least Four Arizona State Fans Went To Last Night's Game In Blackface
Your morning roundup for Sept. 10, a day when it's apparently illegal for wannabe vampires to bite homeless men outside the neighborhood Hooters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Just In Time For 9/11, Today Is Anthrax Day In The Bronx
The aging metal band will be performing at Yankee Stadium next Wednesday with Metallica, Megadeth and Slayer. And the Yanks' PR department tweeted the above photo earlier this afternoon with the following: "Bronx Borough President Ruben Diaz has declared today Anthrax Day with a proclamation." So i...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Lightning Round
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. Starting this week, that includes actual game results. ...

Paul Hamm Is Just Another Unemployed Drunk Male Gymnast Now
The Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm has been fired from his assistant coaching position at The Ohio State University, following his arrest for assaulting a cab driver in Columbus last Saturday....

The Saints And Packers Did Not Look Like Football Robots
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Joe Paterno's Presidential Medal Of Freedom Is Closer Than Ever
Partisan bickering has reduced Washington to a post-Era of Good Feelings, pre-Capra Thunderdome of hurled insults and hurled feces. But not in Harrisburg! Both of Pennsylvania's Senators and one representative are ignoring party lines to send a letter to Barack Obama, urging him to award Joe Paterno...

LeBron Introduces The World To His Sister LeBre'sha, Who Is Actually Just LeBron In Drag
It's that time of year here in New York City, when the rich people frolic through the streets in designer clothing more often than usual and pretend to watch tennis at the U.S. Open: Fashion Week is here!...

Football Coach Says His Team "Don't Need No Meows, No Cats" In Presser Of The Year
David Bennett, head coach of the football team at Coastal Carolina, relayed a message for his team in a press conference on Wednesday. We've transcribed it below so that you can more clearly follow his logic:...

Here's The Tom Brady UGG Commercial That Will Air On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
With music by Mos Def Yasiin, it features plenty of Steadicam shots of Tom walking. Tom running! Tom playing with someone's dog! Tom entering the locker room! Tom bopping his head to the beat, as if he had rhythm. The shoes are not eye-bleedingly ugly, like we've come to expect from Ugg boots, and...

Saints-Packers: A Ridiculously Fan-Pleasing Season Opener
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Deadspin Guide To Trolling NFL Players On Twitter
If you like pro football and you're on Twitter—and if neither of these things apply to you, well, Jesus, get over yourself; who are you trying to impress?—you've experienced the following scenario:...

Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...

SprtsCntr: There Is Only The NFL
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Heartbreaking Hockey Funeral For Lokomotiv Yaroslavl
The 37 members of Lokomotiv Yaroslavl who died in Wednesday's plane crash were on their way to Minsk to open the KHL season. The opening of the season has been pushed back to Monday, but all of Dynamo Minsk's tickets had been sold. Rather than leave the arena dark and emphasize the void the disast...

When The DEA Raided A Texas High-School Volleyball Coach's House, They Found Steroids And Blow
Timothy Todd Porter teaches physics and astronomy and coaches volleyball at Clear Springs High School in Texas. If what Johnny Law says is true, he was also part of a drug-trafficking ring that peddled feel-goods and get-strongers to students....

The Reports Of NFL Special-Teams Excitement's Demise Were Probably Premature
As you can see from this video compiled by new guy Conor Hastings, Darren Sproles of the New Orleans Saints returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown tonight. Shortly thereafter, Green Bay Packers rookie Randall Cobb did the same with a 108-yard kickoff return. To which Sproles said oh, ok, I'll ge...

Two Ladies Enter This Street Fight, One Leaves Topless (NSFW)
Thirty-two seconds into this Rockwellian portrait of a place called Trendwood, one participant in an apartment-complex parking-lot fracas places her breasts back into some sort of garment. They don't stay hidden very long, playing very prominent roles from 0:45-1:30....

Curtis Granderson And The Orioles's Mascot Shared A Moment This Afternoon
It's impossible to determine exactly what Yankees centerfielder Curtis Granderson and the Oriole Bird were discussing during pregame calisthenics....