new Page 1053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cops, 49ers Will Work To Make Fans Less Drunk After Especially Drunken Raiders-49ers Game
The annual drunk brawl between 49ers and Raiders fans took place this past weekend, and it was, historically speaking, more drunk and brawl-y than usual. In what essentially amounts to a timeout for grown-ups, both teams have requested that the NFL "indefinitely suspend" the annual preseason "Battle...
Pat Summitt Diagnosed With Dementia, Will Still Coach This Season (Updated With Summitt's Taped Statement)
Sad news out of Knoxville: CBS's Gregg Doyel reports that Pat Summitt—head coach of Tennessee's women's basketball team and the most successful coach in NCAA history—has been diagnosed with dementia. She's just 59 years old. ...
Albert Haynesworth Has Two Words For Washington
It's not "fuck you." It might as well be....
Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...
The Newark Bears Will Celebrate Jim Leyritz Night With A $2,000 M.A.D.D. Donation And A Beer Pong Tournament
Even without mixed drinks, it sends mixed signals. A year ago, Leyritz was found innocent of felony manslaughter, but guilty of DUI in a 2007 crash....
Bill Belichick Wants To Abolish The Extra Point, Because Why The Hell Not?
Hooded evil genius cum Patriots coach Bill Belichick has a weekly radio appearance on WEEI—unlike David Portnoy—and, in this week's, he just started spitballing. It's the preseason, and the Patriots have been an easy 2-0, so, why bother with talking about the team?...
Favre Look-Alike Wasn't Trying To Fool Anyone By Wearing Favre Jersey Around Green Bay
Remember that guy who went to a Packers practice last week and impersonated a certain No. 4 known for gunslinging photos of his dong via text? His name is Kirk Ermatinger, he's from Ripon, Wis., and a Green Bay television station has caught up with him. Yes, Ermatinger acknowledged, he looks just l...
What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: The Win Is Fake, But The Injuries Are Real
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Kool Aid Man Really Wanted To Catch That Foul Ball
Your morning roundup for Aug. 23, the day they found a lot of semen in a fancy hotel room. H/T to bigsombrero for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Only Thing Worse Than A Drake Song Is A DeJuan Blair Cover Of A Drake Song
Unlike his NBA brethren, who are working at the local Home Depots, assistant coaching at Division I schools, and throwing down in local leagues, Spurs forward DeJuan Blair is apparently spending his extended off-season recording covers of terrible pop songs that are a mere two months old....
Sabermetrix Are For Kids: Introducing Our Little League World Series Power Ranking And Prediction Engine
We're a few days into the Little League World Series, which means it's time to unveil our system for evaluating the teams: DRURY, or Determination of Robustness of Undoubtedly Rambunctious Youths. It takes box score statistics from every game, converts them into a composite runs scored and allowed p...
School Of Fight: Learning To Brawl With The Hockey Goons Of Tomorrow (Deadspin Classic)
Last week, Glenn Stout, editor of Houghton Mifflin's Best American Sports Writing series, announced the lineup for the 2011 edition of the book. Among the stories was Jake Bogoch's dispatch from a notorious hockey fight camp for kids, where our writer took a teenager's punch to the kidneys and found...
Jimmy Rollins Is Going On The DL, According To Jimmy Rollins
Guess the Phillies' PR staff can pretty much take the afternoon off....
Bobby Valentine Has It In For Starlin Castro
Starlin Castro, the young, hopeful face of the Cubs franchise this season, pissed off Bobby Valentine in a game against the Cardinals last night, and nothing good came out of it—unless you have a general appreciation for seven-minute rants on five-second occurrences in the middle of your baseball ...
Idea For New Reality Show Featuring Barry Bonds Is 10 Years Too Late
So it turns out Barry Bonds is actually "close friends" with A.C. Slater, who got him to agree to do a reality show in which we get to see baseball's all-time asterisk king confronted by an angry fan who despises him, after which Bonds will have to try to convince the poor jagoff he's not such a pr...
ESPN's Ian O'Connor Confuses His Job Duties With Eli Manning's
Did you hear what Plaxico Burress did at the Meadowlands last night? He did nothing. The ESPN.com caption this morning was "Plaxico Burress shines in his first game back in the NFL, scoring a touchdown against the Bengals on Sunday." This is a stupid lie, born of boredom and fraud: Burress's first g...
What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Plaxico Catching A Football In A Pretend Game
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
ESPN Is Airing This TV Commercial For Grantland
Huh. It's like Jim Jarmusch meets The Sting meets a Klondike bar....
The Cool Kids Will Now Be Sitting At Bleacher Report's Lunch Table: A Slideshow
Introducing your new Bleacher Report "National Lead Writers" ......
Who's Got 41? Great. But Who's Got 41?
Your morning roundup for Aug. 22, the day we asked taxpayers to foot the bill for a shopping mall. Photo via @EricStangel. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...