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Parents Of Armless, Legless Aspiring Cheerleader Claim "Scoring Errors" Kept Her Off The Squad
If what the Omaha World-Herald says is true, 16-year-old Julia Sullivan "likes to dance [and] wants to get people excited for games." Following those passions, she tried out to join her friends on the cheerleading squad not once, not twice, but three times....

Deadspin Gives Back
It was through tipster Len G.'s "newest favorite billboard in New Orleans" that we met da Gonorrhea BREAKER, da Crabs ASSASSIN, da Chlamydia CRUSHER, da HIV Awareness ENFORCER, Lady STD KILLA, da Condom FATHER, da Trich TERMINATOR, da Syphilis ELIMINATOR, da Herpes HIT WOMAN and da HPV SLAPPER....

Bud Selig Thinks This Is The Last Year For The Playoffs As We Know Them
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Commish is ready for change....

The Seth Meyers-Lynn Hoppes Pre-ESPYs Bro-Down Skewers ESPN
Last we checked in on Page 2's Lynn Hoppes, he was breathlessly name-dropping third-tier celebrities, en route to this whole thing. (Of note: ESPN has since pulled the offending Hoppes video from its YouTube account. Did Brock Lesnar's attorneys complain?) Hoppes is ESPN's expert in the macho-tinged...

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 2)
Here's the second part of the roundup of baseball's low achievers. Part 1 is here....

We Hereby Nominate Abby Wambach For U.S. Ambassador Of Headers And Beautiful Goals
The U.S. women's national team advanced to the World Cup final today with a 3-1 win over France. Les Bleues tied it up early in the second half, and looked more energized and aggressive than the Americans, up until Pia Sundhage subbed in Megan Rapinoe (a proven tactic by now) and until Abby Wambac...

Ryan Howard's RBI Total Does Not Make Him The Greatest Baseball Player In The Universe, Bill Conlin
Bill Conlin wrote something dumb today. In other news, the sun rose in the east. But we're not going to go after Bill Conlin, because it's been done. Instead we're going to try and put in the simplest terms possible why he and anyone else rejecting advanced statistics out of hand are being willfully...

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 1)
This is a celebration. I realize that sounds strange—compiling a list of the worst of something doesn't seem like a joyous occasion. But by worst 100 baseball players I don't just mean the objective worst, the statistical worst, the most physically discomforting to watch. I mean the players whose fa...

Justin Timberlake At The All-Star Game: Drunk, Sarcastic, Drunk-Sarcastic, Or Just Obnoxious?
Justin Timberlake has redeemable qualities, doesn't he? He can sing and dance, he is a good SNL host, and he reportedly even has feelings. All this is more than we can say about Joe Buck. So no matter your opinion of the former boy band front-teen, he deserves some credit for agreeing to a live-br...

Minor League Involving Kevin Costner, Jose Canseco, and Pete LaCock Devolves Into Extreme Chaos
One wishes there were a way to succinctly explain what the hell went on this weekend in the North American Baseball League. There isn't, but "mop-up catcher Joey Gathright" gets us pretty close to explaining the weird story of the NABL's Lake County (Ill.) Fielders, owned in part by Kevin Costner....

Manchester United Visits Harvard, Front-Running Snobs Everywhere Rejoice
Manchester United is in the Boston area to battle the MLS's New England Revolution tomorrow, as part of something called the World Football Challenge. Man U's playing a bunch of MLS teams on a summer tour....

If You Want To Call Jose Canseco, His Number Is 818-903-6598
So says the Miami New Times, anyway. Do it, if you have the patience!...

Now Photographers Working The Home Run Derby Are Planking Too
We've tried to stay on top of this planking thing for you guys, because it's confusing and new and stressful. Last we dropped in on sports-based planking, some wealthy—but now unemployed—NBA stars got prone on ostentatious objects (Beamers, Benzes, or Bentleys, we cannot remember which)....

A Half-Assed Statistical Analysis Of The Half-Assed Home Run Derby's Half-Assed Announcing
Chris Berman said the word "BACK" 78 times last night, 66 of which were in reference to home runs. That's about .62 "BACK"s per homer, a figure we assume is much lower than in previous years. Here's a breakdown of each player's traditional and Berman statistics (distance data from MLB.com):...

Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...

Hope Solo: "We'll Be Bringing Home The Cup"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the a guarantee from the goalkeeper....

This Is Michael Irvin On The Cover Of <em>Out</em> Magazine
There's a fantastic Michael Irvin profile in this month's Out magazine which, given the recent newsworthy items about another particular NFC East wide receiver, will hopefully lead to more progress on the issue. Irvin reveals how in his early Playmaker days, he was just as guilty of stereotyping, ga...

Female Soccer Players Don't Fake It Like The Men, Science Says
Science has provided another reason to give the Women's World Cup a chance as it winds down this week: female soccer players don't flop. Not as much, at least, as their male counterparts (although we'll allow that the same could be said of toddlers learning to walk). Researchers at Wake Forest Unive...

Weak Grounder To Second Starts Nutso Minor League Brawl
Your gladiators: the Spokane Indians and Vancouver Canadian, Class A affiliates of the Rangers and Blue Jays respectively. Your catalyst: I dunno, probably someone saying something about someone's momma....

The Derby Featured A Diving Catch Into A Pool, And Not A Single Drop Of Beer Was Wasted
Our esteemed announcers preferred an earlier catch to this gentleman's play, but they fail to notice that on his dive, he manages to save his entire pint. This great nation will go to great lengths to ensure that we never waste a drop of an overpriced lager....