new Page 1122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bad News Bears: Doc Has Newark's Fix
Doc Gooden has landed in Newark (and no, not to score blow). As the Newark Bears' new Senior VP/community ambassador, he'll be mentoring area kids, presumably on how not to wind up like Doc Gooden....

Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This final 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Alex Rodriguez Loves His Mounties
A-Rod got a little up close and personal with the Toronto police department last night and, as is his wont, he got a little handsy. Come on, Kate Hudson. Can't you control your man?...

A Season Of Failure, Graphical Edition
A visually oriented Mets fan does a great Edward Tufte number on his team's injury-ridden, hell-spawn season. The best thing you can say about the Mets now is that no club inspires such rigorously detailed postmortems. Amazin'! [seanengelhardt.com]...

Saints Player Who Parked In Handicapped Spot Now Pariah To Many Fans
Safety Usama Young parked in a handicapped zone was ticketed, charged, and released. Yet, some fans will never forgive him for those few seconds he left his car idling in the blue area in front of the AT &T store....

And One To Grow On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Why Your Team Sacks: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter grou......

Why Your Team Sucks: New York Jets (Featuring Confessions Of A Meadowlands Security Guard)
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Tom Brady's Throwing Shoulder Will Be Fine, Says Source Within Lying-Ass Organization
This was the shoulder on which Albert Haynesworth was briefly docked Friday. "There is no need for hysteria," says a source close to the tactically dishonest Patriots, who will now list Brady as "probable (shoulder)" for all eternity. [Boston Globe]...

First, The Met Open Championship. Next, The World!
Andrew Giuliani just won his first professional golf tournament. Yippy! Let's take the Post's advice: "Do you know someone who has made New York a better place? Nominate your hero for the 8th Annual New York Post Liberty Medals." [NYP]...

George Steinbrenner Will Steal Your Business Ideas
A disgruntled former MSG exec says he designed the blueprint for YES network, which George promptly stole to build his $3 billion television empire. So naturally he's suing for due credit, to the tune of $23 million....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Citi Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The New York Mets' Citi Field....

Come For The Golf, Be Overcome By The Noxious Fumes
There's a good reason that Liberty National is the most expensive golf course ever built (and the most expensive to join.) It covers up a toxic waste dump! The radioactive sludge makes night golf so much easier! [Forbes]...

Ichiro To Drop Panties With Slap Hitting
Now is the time to dismiss any misconceptions you may harbor about about Ichiro's sexuality vis a vis his affinity for Griffey-tickling. Ichiro digs the ladies, and would like to call on those with a fetish for low slugging percentage....

Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...

What A $500,000 Country Club Membership Buys You
A look inside Liberty National Golf Club, site of this week's PGA event, where members pay a $500,000 initiation fee plus $25,000 yearly dues to eat lunch in New Jersey. Ahh, that sweet-smelling Jersey breeze! [Star-Ledger]...

Jumpy, Confused Quarterback Will Lead Jets To Promised Land
Mark Sanchez has been named the opening week starter for the New York Jets. Defensive backs everywhere are already swooning. [Glazer]...

New Bad Thing Happens To Comically Star-Crossed Organization
Johan Santana's done for the year: "The Mets said Tuesday that Santana will have arthroscopic surgery to clean up bone chips in his left elbow. The team said he's expected to be ready for spring training next year." [AP]...

Derek Jeter Lovers Still Consistently Loving Derek Jeter's Consistency
Relax everyone. Despite all statistical evidence to the contrary, Derek Jeter is still the best Yankee. Because Paul O'Neill told Mike Lupica he is. How do they keep it doing day after day for all these years? [Daily News]...