new Page 1158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...
Previewing The Rangers-Penguins
Deadspin's NHL Conference Semifinal Previews come courtesy of Melt Your Face-Off. Over at MYFO, Sunday service starts tonight, and holding back when the collection plate comes around earns you a two-minute seat in the penalty pew. In the meantime, Hextall454 brings you the righteous preview of the N...
Byron Scott's Son Is Doing His Best To Support His Pops
We're still a little surprised that the New Orleans haven't caught on nationally quite yet. The Saints were an amazing, inspiring story that united the country (other than Eagles fans, of course), but the Hornets still just seem to glide past, with people still not quite aware of what Chris Paul is...
Joba Chamberlain Makes Clumsy Pass At Erin Andrews, Becomes Mortal (WITH UPDATE)
Actually I have no idea what the Yankees' Joba Chamberlain said to Erin Andrews at the conclusion of their interview on Wednesday, but whatever it was, Andrews was obviously repulsed. You can check out the video here and judge for yourself. Man, it looks like she just ate a bug. So then can it just ...
Youth Prevails! (Except In San Antonio)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who spent most of last night scribbling CP3-4-Me all over his Trapper Keeper. When he's not man-loving on Chris Paul, he can be found practicing his Duncan face at Basketbawful. Enjoy! The doctor is most definitely in. Chris Paul may not have graduated from...
Four Out Of Five Dentists Think Joe Girardi Is Nuts
Further proof that Joe Girardi is the Frank Burns of AL managers; he has forbidden the Yankees to eat candy or gum. Yes, that should turn the tide. New York would have four or five more World Series trophies if not for the evil of Skittles. Girardi is being really strict about this....
Catch New Jersey Nets Playoff Excitement!
It wasn't the best season for the New Jersey Nets — but hey, Vince Carter is still around! — but that's not stopping the Nets from maximizing all corporate sponsorship opportunities....
Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...
Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...
You Know It's Baseball Season When Fat Yanks-Red Sox Fans Are Killing Each Other
Last week, the Red Sox and Yankees battled it out at Yankee Stadium. You might have heard about it. But we just today saw this shot above and, more to the point, the rather amazing video after the jump of a real, live Yankees-Red Sox fan fight....
New Jersey Devils Given New York Farewell
It's nice to see the NHL Playoffs' first round is filled with good-natured competitiveness. Certainly this is epitomized by the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils — neighbors! — playing to a 5-3 Rangers victory, knocking the Devils out of the playoffs. And all Rangers fans can certainly apprecia...
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
Dallas Versus New Orleans: The Mark Cuban Finally Has A Coronary Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Western Conference today, continuing with the series between the New Orleans Hornets and the Dallas Mavericks, which begins Saturday....
Mark Littell, The Nutty Buddy, Is Completely Nuts
Two days ago, I emailed Mark Littell, former major leaguer and creator of the Nutty Buddy to see if he'd comment on that story I was working on about Flyers center Patrick Thoresen and the dangers of pucks (or anything) to the groin, etc. I told him (or, rather, the Nutty Buddy crack email team) tha...