new Page 1172 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pedro's Offseason Workout Regimen
Far be it from us to tell a professional athlete how to live his/her life, but heavens, Pedro, you're turning into Schilling....
Marbury Wants You To Know That Only He Sells Cheapass Shoes
Considering he has testified under oath that he had sex with a Knicks intern in his car — and then helped get her a better job! — Stephon Marbury needs all the good PR he can get. Hence, those cheap sneakers he sells, which help inner city kids become more like Stephon Marbury, which is totally a go...
Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It
We knew there was something missing from the NFL season: An asterisk controversy. Of course. Well let's get right to it. Don Shula — who coached the 1972 Miami Dolphins to the only unbeaten season in NFL history — says that the Patriots should get an asterisk if they finish 19-0 this season....
Isiah, Knicks Manage To Stay Out Of Trouble For A Day
Ed. note: This was supposed to go up this morning, but better late than never.• Are You Going To Get In The Truck? First our Isiah Thomas quote of the day: "It's always good to win your home opener, and for us here in New York we struggled last year at the start of the season at home,'' Thomas said....
Patriots Fail to Cover Spread, Claim Hollow Victory
• Was there ever any doubt? You could tell that it was just a matter of time before Tom Brady and Randy Moss could stick a dagger through the Indianapolis defense. For three quarters Tony Dungy's Colts controlled the field, but you can't keep a good man down long, and the same can be said of Bill Be...
New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...
Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...
Hoping The Patriots And Colts Play To A Tie Game
M'kay. It's getting to be that time, so let's get the Patriots-Colts preview out of the way. I hadn't even thought about who I thought would win this game until this weekend, when I put New England in my friend's NFL picks pool. It was a rather anticlimactic and unfulfilling finish to a week of spec...
The Reggies Are Running Rampant In New Orleans
Okay, which one of you smart-alecks told me that the Jaguars had a good defense? Because then I went and told everybody, including my local priest, and now I just look foolish. Most of the touchdowns were scored by one of many Reggies (Bush has two for the Saints, and Williams caught an 80-yard pass...
Al Arbour Promptly Removes Penguins From His Lawn
• This Was Actually How The Redskins Wanted To Bring Joe Gibbs Back, But He Thought It Was Permanent, And Nobody Had The Heart To Tell Him Otherwise — This story about Al Arbour coaching the Islanders again after 13 years to round out his coaching career at an even 1,500 seems pretty cool, doubly so...
Why, I'll Show You Rumormongering, Mr. Reporter Man
In the column inches of metro daily paper on a peaceful Saturday morning, somewhere between the high school box scores and soft news on retired athletes, you wouldn't expect to find a rant about blogs....
While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...
Colts and Pats Match-Up Poised to Tilt Axis of Earth
The Indianapolis Colts/New England Patriots death-match hype is reaching its condition critical stage, as every single person on the planet tangentially-related to either one of those regions or to sports writing has to have an opinion about it. They must. This is the game of the millennium, you see...
Raiders Fans Would Rather Look Elsewhere, Thank You
It's not easy being a Raiders fan. First off: What goes with black? Seriously! It's also difficult to find time to cheer, what with all the drinking of infant's blood. And worst off, the Raiders' lousy game with the Texans this Sunday happens to be at the same time as The Most Important Battle Betwe...
Oh, Those New York Knickerbockers
Sadly, we haven't had the joy yet of watching the Knicks play — they open in Cleveland on Friday — but that doesn't mean we can't relive the glory of the last 10 years of beautiful Knicks history....
The Patriots Are Just Tempting Fate
As the above video shows, with all the hatred directed at the Patriots right now — the batshit nuts Easterbrook type, and other more planetary notions — we're legitimately surprised no one has gone after Tom Brady's knees yet. (KSK might have been the first with this idea.) We would never advocate s...
Peter King Is Quite Mad, You Know
In case you weren't aware, the biggest rivalry in sports is not the Red Sox-Yankees. It's the Patriots vs. the Colts! A rivalry as old as sports itself! First fought with leather helmets when players had part-time jobs as dock workers! So says Peter King, and if he writes it, it must be true....
You Know, Torre Really Could Use A Tan
Our old friend Peter Abraham, who is a big fan of sushi and Fashion Week gossip, has the big scoop this morning: The Dodgers are going to fire Grady Little and hire Joe Torre....
And Jesus Said, Turn The Other Cheek
Two surprising things about this item: 1. It didn't happen in Long Island, and 2. It wasn't featured in any of the Porky's movies. Other than that, hey, I stopped being shocked at the antics of youth sports parents and coaches long ago....