new Page 1184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Raining (Very Fat) Men
It happens every time we attend a game at Shea Stadium; inevitably a druken fat guy will topple onto us from the row above, causing us to break certain small bones. We don't even bother to sue anymore; we're used to it. But Ellen Massey, a Manhattan lawyer, is not so magnanimous. She's had enough....
Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....
Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......
It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...
Roger To The Rescue; Clemens To Be A Yankee Again
With much credit to you crazy commenters, Roger Clemens announced today that he's returning to the Yankees. I wasn't watching the game, I have no idea what happened ... but The Sports Frog is all over it, and I'm just going to quote the Frog's garyclark:...
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Cavaliers Vs. Nets
The second round continues with two more matchups today. We've already previewed Suns-Spurs tonight....
Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...
Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...
Heat Don't Make Much Of A Fuss About Leaving
A byproduct of the supposedly middling, uninspiring champions of the last year — the Colts, the Cardinals, the Heat — is the collapse to level soil the next season. A team that overachieves in the postseason one year is likely to return to equilibrium the next. We'll see what happens with the Colts,...
Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....
I Can't Even Picture Tom Brady And Randy Moss Standing Next To Each Other
I don't know if this will turn out to be good news or bad news for those of you who are sick of the New England Patriots being a model franchise. They have, according to Adam Schefter at the NFL Network, agreed to trade for Oakland's Randy Moss....
Giants Elect Not To Fill Their Obvious Need At QB
With the 20th pick of the NFL Draft, the New York Giants select Aaron Ross, CB, Texas. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
As Per Usual, Jets Fans Are The Star Of The Show
With the 14th pick of the NFL Draft, the New York Jets select Darrelle Revis, CB, Pitt. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Michael Bloomberg Cannot Be Bothered With Your 'Hockey'
Let it be known that Michael Bloomberg is a serious man with many important papers on his desk, and that his office has wood paneling and various brass fixtures. This leaves him little time for traditional sports wagers with other, lesser mayors....
The Daily Closer: Alex Rodriguez Still Refuses To Pitch
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Buy Yourself A Piece Of Michael Strahan... Cheap
So rarely do the worlds millionaire athletes and yard sales collide. But, you know, it's not every day that athletes get cleaned out in a divorce quite like Michael Strahan did. And this weekend, at her (formerly his) mansion, Jean Strahan sold a bunch of his shit....
Maybe The Guy Just Wanted A Better Look At Edgar Renteria
A fellow named Frank Martinez was arrested and charged with interference with a professional sporting event (which is an actual crime because of Calvin Klein, evidently) and second-degree reckless endangerment after shining a high-powered flashlight into the eyes of Atlanta Braves Tim Hudson and Edg...
Open Thread: Nets vs. Raptors
There are 4 NBA playoff games on today, and I'd like to watch at least three of them. That means that my DVR's going to get a workout, you're probably going to get a couple of open threads, and if J.E. Skeets is arrested for throwing bricks at Vince Carter's children today, it might go unreported on...
Look Over Here! We Use Steroids, Too! Look, Dammit!
In their ongoing battle for relevancy in the world of sports, the NHL took a positive step forward yesterday, proving that their sport is cool enough to require the use of steroids. New York Islanders 37-year-old journeyman defenseman Sean Hill was busted for abusing performance enhancers....
A Raptors Fan Lets Out His Vince Rage
The Raptors-Nets series tips off tomorrow, and everyone's talking about the supposed "revenge" factor involving Vince Carter and his former team. We find this amusing that this is the big angle from the series, considering this has to be the first time media folk have cared about Raptors fans....