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Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...

David Wright Needs Your Help In Choosing A New Theme So
In case you haven't heard, David Wright is retiring his theme music: the Beastie Boys' Brass Monkey, which blared over the Shea Stadium loudspeakers each time he stepped to the plate last season. According to New York Mets Blog, Wright is looking for a new tune, and he needs your help. The Mets' sea...

NBA Roundup: The Slam Poetry Of Eddy Curry
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Eli Manning Has A Hard Time Meeting Girls
We don't listen to the radio much — we're too busy with Meat Loaf and REO Speedwagon on an endless iPod loop — so we missed this little tidbit from the Opie and Anthony "show." Some guy named Jason Itzler, who used to run the NY Confidential "escort" service, was a guest on the show, and the hosts a...

It's Never Too Early To Ruin A Kid's Enjoyment Of Sport
Yesterday was college football's signing day, and as you've probably noticed by our coverage of that and similar recruiting stories, we're always kind of creeped out by a bunch of middle aged men watching teenagers in their underwear run sprints and lift weights. Maybe it's just us....

A-Rod's Story Of A Sensitive Boy
We mentioned this when the deal was originally announced, and now, today, the day has finally arrived: Alex Rodriguez's children's book has hit the stands. "Out Of The Ballpark" is the story of a second baseman named Alex who makes an error and — get this — begins to play worse because he's putting ...

Ted Johnson Would Like You To Remind Him Where He Put His Keys ... And His Pants
Wasn't it just a couple of years ago that Bill Belichick was God? Lose a couple of big games, and it all begins to crumble. Former Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson said on Thursday that Belichick forced him to practice with a concussion, causing him to, um, to ... what was it were were talking about?...

NBA Roundup: Knicks Beat Lakers As We All Wonder What To Do With NBA's Captain Bligh
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Be Careful When Shaking Jason Kidd's Hand
For years, every time he went to the free throw line, Jason Kidd has blown a kiss into the air as a symbol of his love for his wife. Now that the marriage is over, though, Kidd is apparently sending the kisses somewhere that he feels needs the love a little more ... his own asshole....

Yeah, We Hate To Be The Ones To Tell You This, Vince ...
An amusing side note from the Nets' late-night last-second loss to the Clippers last night. The NBA All-Star starting lineups were announced last night, and our man Gilbert Arenas edged out Vince Carter — who almost always makes these teams — for the second guard spot in the Eastern Conference. When...

Yahoo! Still Trying To Catch Reggie Bush
If it's a Thursday, that must mean it's time for another Yahoo !Sports investigation into gifts Reggie Bush might have received at USC. (We don't mean to make light of the hard work Yahoo! has put into its exhaustive investigation, but we repeat that it's hard to take an investigation all that serio...

SICK Is A Nice Word For What Bears Fans Are (Yeah!)
As we mentioned on Monday, we were kind of surprised that the little arts & crafts project to the right here was allowed to be displayed during the Saints-Bears game on Sunday; not that we sat up that night fretting about it, but come on. That's a little classless, if you're into the "class" thing, ...

The Truly Important Pick Of The Game
In case you were wondering when it all went wrong for the Patriots yesterday, when it all began to collapse, when the wave crested and receded ... you can take a look at this moment, with 7:18 left in the first half and the Patriots cruising to a 21-3 lead....

NFC Blogdome: Super Bowl Shuffle, V. 2.0
Dispatches from blogdome's front lines following the NFC Championship game ......

Rex Grossman, Like Jim McMahon, But Without The Sunglasses And Headband
We don't mean to imply that Bears fans can get a little crazy in their devotion to their team — they can, but they're usually not mean about it — but this sign, seen at Soldier Field yesterday, seems a bit much. We're amazed this actually stayed up, we really are....

AFC Blogdome: A Colt From The Blue
What they're saying in Blogopolis after Sunday's AFC championship game (predictably, Stampede Blue has wasted no time going to the Karate Kid photos) ......

Peyton Manning, An Image Now In Need Of An Upgrade
A confession to make: We like dynasties. We don't like them because it's fun to watch one team win everything, because it isn't. We like them because they provide clear, distinct rooting interests and fault lines. The Patriots always beat the Colts, Peyton Manning can't figure out the Patriots, one ...

Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 4th Quarter
- Not to go all Bill Simmons on you, but what we have here—a one score conference championship game with two of the best quarterbacks in the game—is pretty damn sweet....

Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 3rd Quarter
- Terrence Wilkins gets crunched by Larry Izzo on the opening kickoff of the second half....

Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 2nd Quarter
- It'll be a 3rd and 1 for the Pats when the 2nd quarter starts. I think they've got to get the ball to Logan Mankins here....