new Page 1197 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Over There, Belichick Should Break Up LOTS Of Marriages
If you're a Patriots fan who just hasn't had every opportunity and vessel through which to express your undying devotion, worry not: You can now wear Tom Brady's jersey in Chinese....
Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....
Hey, Look, The Yankees Are In The Playoffs Again
You know, it really is kind of weird when a team has a big champagne celebration after they've lost a game. We know they've earned it, and we know they've got it coming. But it still seems strange to lose a game, go back to the locker room, turn on the television, see a final score in a game played ...
In A Way, It's A Step Forward For Isiah
Some good news for Isiah Thomas (seen here having dinner with Dennis Rodman at an Outback Steakhouse): He is actually able to establish a functioning work environment! Who knew?!...
A-Rod Is Moody, Aloof And Weird. REALLY.
So everyone's all abuzz this morning about Tom Verducci's Sports Illustrated cover story this week, a look the complex organism that is the brain of Alex Rodriguez. We think Verducci is one of the best guys SI has, and the story's well-written enough, we guess, but we don't quite understand what the...
She Handled It Considerably Better Than McCarver
Julie Donaldson, locker room/sideline reporter for SNY, the Mets station — she is one of the women the station allows to have a brain and a skull — takes part in turning an otherwise perfectly normal division championship celebration into something vaguely different....
Mets Fans Are Having A Nice Morning
As established late last night, the Mets clinched the National League East last night behind the gorgeous athletic stylings of Jose Valentin....
Great. MORE New York Teams In The Postseason
Congratulations to the New York Mets, who shook off the vexing enigma that is the Pittsburgh Pirates and beat the Florida Marlins 4-0 tonight to clinch the National League East title. They're the first team to punch the proverbial ticket to the playoffs, and now we can all breathe a sigh of relief t...
That's Never Been MY Experience
Do me a favor. Click this link, check out the headline, then come back. I'll wait....
This Baby Is Not A Public Relations Stooge
Continuing in the grand tradition of cute tiny babies being terrified by professional athletes photos — a genre that hit its pinnacle with this legendary shot — we present this photo of Stephon Marbury, about to be backhanded by a child who doesn't want those cheap-ass ugly shoes....
Off With Their Heads!
We mean not to sound overly sensitive, but we'll admit to being somewhat uncomfortable with the new ad campaign for New York's SportsNet NY, the station owned and operated by the Mets....
The Dance, She Is Over
Something seems amiss today. We can't quite put our finger on it ... a great disturbance in The Force, like a million baseball fans crying out at once. So we did what we always do when world events confuse us; we headed over to Wikipedia. And sure enough:...
How To Get Fake Lost At Yankee Stadium
Of all the amusements at a baseball game, few things tickle our proverbial fancy more than The Guy Who Can't Find His Seat. He's always carrying a hot dog, or more beverages than he can handle, and he's got that clueless look of the guy who has never been to a game and is just waiting for someone to...
Now That's A Serious Looking Contract
We don't mean to imply that there's a possibly new New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow — shown here on a "scouting trip" — might not necessarily be ready for life in a board room, considering just last year he was the team's backup goalie....
NFL Roundup: Mangini's Workout Regimen
Muses and ruminations after Week 1 of the NFL ......
NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....
NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....
A Little Fired Up Down In The Red Zone
Forget the exploits of Peyton Manning and Ben Rothelisberger. Years from now, when you're balancing your great grandchildren on your knee, you can tell them that you were there on the day that Detroit Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen was arrested for driving in the nude. "But was he totally nude, gr...
NFL Pants Party: AFC East
Personally, we think the AFC East would be a lot more fun to make predictions for if Troy Brown had to play quarterback for the Patriots every game. Oh, and is Culpepper organizing the rookie party for the Dolphins this year?...
Who Can Make A Difference? Parents Like You
One just never knows what mayhem will erupt when the Redskins meet the Bears. Anything can happen ... um, did we mention that these Redskins and Bears are 12 years old? Proving that the ghost of Woody Hayes does indeed roam the earth looking for bodies to possess, an assistant youth football coach i...