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How The Patriots Screwed Up In The Miami Miracle
After a brief hiatus for the Deadspin Awards, the Emergency Football Show Weekly is back, so try to contain your excitement. This week, Dan and I savor everything about the Miami Miracle and marvel at Mike Tomlin’s clock mismanagement. Also, Dan eats a little shit about the Cowboys, defenses finally...

LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...

The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....

The Bucs Had A Punt Blocked By A QB Named Taysom
Taysom Hill plays more than you’d expect from a backup to Drew Brees’s backup. Saints head coach Sean Payton uses Hill as a change-of-pace QB, usually to run the read-option, and he’s logged at least seven offensive snaps in every Saints game this year. Hill had more run earlier in the season when h...

Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....

Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...

The Miami Miracle Was 12 Years In The Making
The Miami Miracle was, like any even-half-decent football play, lovingly swiped. In this case, from one of the greatest college football games ever played: Boise State vs. Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. The Dolphins’ last gasp was supposed to be the relatively simple hook and lateral that Boise S...

Mark Sanchez Did Not, In Fact, Know The Offense
Mark Sanchez was responsible for the first touchdown of the game between Washington and New York. Only problem was that it was a pick-six. On a second-and-11 on his team’s one-yard line late in the first quarter, Sanchez’s first pass of the drive was deflected at the line and taken to the house by C...

Dolphins Topple Patriots On Miraculous, Nice Walkoff Lateral Play
Holy crap. The Miami Dolphins pulled off a successful desperation lateral play as time expired in today’s game to snatch victory from the Patriots, 34-33....

The Knicks Are Patting Frank Ntilikina's Head And Telling Him To Wait Over Here While Mommy Rings The Convent Doorbell
To the surprise of not one single person on earth, a Knicks team missing Kristaps Porzingis and giving major rotation minutes to all of Tim Hardaway Jr., Mario Hezonja, and Emmanuel Mudiay sucks major ass and is losing lots of games. They’ve dropped two in a row and four of five, and they’ve got the...

Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies
Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...

The Mariners Have Pulled The Plug
After a couple of trades in the past 24 hours or so, the Seattle Mariners officially suck again, and they don’t even have fond memories of recent playoff runs to keep them warm over what promises to be several years worth of rebuilding. A run of aggressive, win-now spending—or, anyway, intermittent ...

Jets Overcome 16-0 Lead With Thrilling Come-From-Ahead Loss
For once, everything seemed to be going against the Jets....

Bill Belichick Got Into It With Adam Thielen
Down two scores and with about nine minutes remaining, the Vikings picked up what looked like a fourth-down conversion—but it was close. Minnesota hurried to the line to try to get the next play off before the Patriots could decide whether to challenge the ruling, but safety Patrick Chung dropped to...

Bears Take Giants To Overtime With Buzzer-Beating "Philly Special"
It’s been nearly eight months since the Eagles pulled off their brilliant trick play against the Patriots in last year’s Super Bowl, and teams are still having a hard time seeing it coming. Having used all of their timeouts, the Bears had just one more opportunity—and one more yard—to send their gam...

Odell Beckham Jr. Slings Touchdown To Maintain Perfect Passing Record
The New York Giants are continuing to rely heavily on Odell Beckham Jr., even using him to replace Eli Manning at quarterback. On a 1st-and-10 play from the Bears’ 49-yard line, the Giants ran a fake toss play Beckham, who rolled out looking for an open teammate to throw to. After making a quick cut...

Mario Hezonja Steps Over A Fallen Giannis Antetokounmpo After Breakaway Dunk<em></em>
Mario Hezonja has never been one to be short of confidence. When asked in 2015 if he went to see Lionel Messi play during his stint at Barcelona, the Croatian replied, “Let Messi come to see me.” Three years later, that confidence has yet to fade....

We Regret To Inform You That You Have To Take The Cowboys Seriously Now
Remember when the Dallas Cowboys were 3-5, Jason Garrett seemed destined for a midseason firing, and Dak Prescott looked like he couldn’t throw for 200 yards in a flag football game? Those were good times for Dallas haters all over the nation, but I am sorry to say that they are definitively over no...

Johnny Boychuk Returned A Lost Tooth And Got Absolutely No Thanks For It
At the end of the second period of a tense, tied Islanders-Bruins game that Boston eventually won in a shootout, New York defenseman Johnny Boychuk made a selfless and nice gesture by picking up his old teammate David Krejci’s tooth when it fell to the ice. And in return, the ungrateful Bruins just ...

Jaylon Smith Somehow Not Flagged For This Devastating Helmet-To-Helmet Hit On Alvin Kamara
Early in the fourth quarter of Thursday night’s Saints-Cowboys game, Drew Brees threw a third-and-long screen pass underneath to Alvin Kamara. Kamara scampered eight yards up the right side, where he was met by Cowboys linebacker Jaylon Smith, who launched himself head-first at Kamara’s helmet....