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Eli Apple And Landon Collins Have Some Complicated Beef
Nobody on the New York Giants is having a very good season, but that’s especially true of second-year corner Eli Apple. Apple has struggled on the field while his team has gone 2-13. He’s also reportedly has been unpopular in the locker room all year, and he was benched for four games earlier in th...

Why Won't The FCC Let Orphan Counties Watch Their Local NFL Teams?
Billy Paul got NFL Sunday Ticket this year. It was the only way to watch his Patriots every week. Paul lives in Massachusetts. See a problem?...

Even An Official Didn't Know Why Kelvin Benjamin's Touchdown Was Overturned
The NFL’s stupid, byzantine rule book got in the way of our ability to enjoy the sport again last weekend. This time, Bills receiver Kelvin Benjamin had a sensational touchdown catch against the Patriots taken away by a replay cop stationed back at headquarters in New York, and even one of the offic...

James Harrison Is A New England Patriot
James Harrison is the Steelers’ all-time sack leader, and one of the greatest players on a franchise whose history is stuffed with great players. He’s now likely to finish his career as a member of the one team the Steelers can’t seem to beat....

Travaris Cadet Suffered A Horrifying Leg Injury
Travaris Cadet took a swing pass from Tyrod Taylor in the second quarter of today’s Bills-Patriots game, and was quickly wrapped up in the backfield. He also suffered a horrifying leg injury: Trey Flowers tackled him, and wrapped Cadet’s upper body around while Cadet’s lower body was still under Flo...

Marshon Lattimore Made An Assterception
Here’s your highlight of the day: After the ball went off of Marvin Hall’s fingertips, Marshon Lattimore caught an interception with his ass. An assterception!...

Cam Newton Got Hit In The Nuts
Cam Newton had to leave today’s game against the Buccaneers, because he took a shot to the nuts. Sucks for him....

Tom Brady Gets Snappy When Asked About His Sketchy Guru's Rift With Bill Belichick
The Boston Globe recently revealed that Tom Brady’s extremely sketchy personal fitness guru Alex Guerrero was banned from the Patriots’ planes and sidelines. Guerrero, a modern snake oil salesman, seems to have irritated head coach Bill Belichick, which has naturally led to speculation about how Br...

Mets Owner Wishes The Yankees Wouldn't Spend So Much Money
The Yankees are up to their old tricks, putting together a championship-caliber club with a combination of a stocked prospect pool and deep, deep pockets. Thanks to the former, they’re reportedly on the verge of trading for starter Gerritt Cole, and thanks to the latter, Giancarlo Stanton is now in ...

Michael Beasley Had A Dang Night
A game in which Kristaps Porzingis went 0-for-11 from the field and no starter scored more than 14 points sounds like it should’ve been a surefire loss for the Knicks. But even though that’s exactly what happened against the Celtics tonight, this one was a win—thanks to Michael Beasley, pretty much ...

Isaac Newton Is Not Elite
A story, in two tweets:...

Report: Carmelo Anthony Used To Snooze Through Phil Jackson's Mindfulness Routines
Over at ESPN, Ian Begley has chronicled the festering relationship between former Knicks boss and unbearable weed pedant Phil Jackson and former Knicks star Carmelo Anthony. It’s a long string of satisfying anecdotes but my favorite one captures the purest essence of both characters:...

Mark Wahlberg Says He Left Super Bowl LI Early Because His Son Was Swearing And Losing It
Actor and Dorchester lunk Mark Wahlberg was at Super Bowl LI between the Patriots and Falcons, but he left before the game was over, with New England facing a deficit. Wahlberg caught shit for being a frontrunner, then said that the reason he’d departed was because his son wasn’t feeling well. That ...

Here is Kristaps Porzingis's Spherical, Slightly Worrisome Personal Trainer
From the Daily News today comes a profile of Kristaps Porzingis’s flavorful “personal physician and trainer” Dr. Carlon Colker, who has no affiliation with the Knicks....

Wes McCauley Hams It Up Again
Referee Wes McCauley is universally respected across the NHL, which is why he’s allowed to display a bit of showmanship from time to time. (Just a quick Youtube search pulls up literally seconds of entertainment.) So when McCauley got to announce the results of a Michael Grabner goal review in last ...

Report: Tom Brady's Quack Doctor Banned From Patriots' Planes And Sidelines
Alex Guerrero has maintained a strange relationship with the Patriots since 2013. He operates the TB12 therapy center next to the Patriots stadium, where he treats players, and his relationship with Brady affords him access to Patriots sidelines and the team plane. However, a day after rumors surfac...

Reports: Failure Will Move Back To Long Island After Things Didn't Work Out In Brooklyn
Five years after the announcement of a 25-year lease at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center, the New York Islanders are already returning home—well, not quite home, but at least back out of New York City and onto the land mass* where they began (Correction: They never left the land mass). Reports say that a ...

Adam Henrique's New Jersey Homecoming Featured A Beautiful Goal And The "Pads Of Seduction"
When the Devils and Ducks swapped center Adam Henrique for defenseman Sami Vatanen on Nov. 30, it was a quintessential dealing-from-strength move for both teams. New Jersey had a plethora of forwards and was weak in the back, and injury-riddled Anaheim had blueliners but needed scoring. ...

Blake Bortles, Who Is Always Trash, Cannot Be Called Trash Today<em></em>
The Jacksonville Jaguars thumped the Houston Texans 45-7 Sunday, as QB Blake Bortles threw for 326 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers. After the game, Texans linebacker Jadeveon Clowney admitted that the Jags soundly beat his team, but wouldn’t give Bortles any credit....

Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...