new Page 160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clay Matthews Thought He Knew The Panthers' Next Play, But Cam Newton Showed Him
Clay Matthews was close, and Cam Newton even lauded the Packers linebacker’s consumption of tape. But Panthers running back Christian McCaffrey ran a slant instead of a wheel route and scored the team’s first touchdown of the day....
Someone Explain To Me The Alien Alloys Before I Fucking Explode
Hello, hi, yes, hello. We’ve all seen this, right? This story in the New York Fucking Times about the Pentagon’s $22 million Oh Shit There Might Be Aliens program? We’ve all read it? We’ve all engaged with the evidence within the story, written in part by two journalists who have won Pulitzer Prizes...
The Steelers' Final Play Was A Real Mess
The Steelers’ final offensive play in their 27-24 loss to New England was exactly as chaotic as it looked. Normally, that’d be a good thing on a fake spike—you want to confuse the defense. But it would’ve been better for Pittsburgh if more than two Steelers knew what was going on. That’s right: The ...
NFL's Worst Rule Robs Steelers Of A Win Over Patriots
The NFL was exciting and likable for about two minutes in Pittsburgh this evening, so naturally, someone had to ruin the fun. Getting the ball down five with just over two minutes to play, Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski combined for a vintage comeback drive that gave the Pats a 27-24 lead. However, a ...
Michael Beasley Is Just Cruel
The Oklahoma City Thunder narrowly topped the Philadelphia 76ers in an insane triple-overtime slugfest Friday night. You can imagine, they were therefore not at their most energetic Saturday night, playing the second leg of a back-to-back, in New York. Still, the Knicks, without Kristaps Porzingis, ...
CC Sabathia Returning To Yankees To Complete "Unfinished Business"
C.C. Sabathia’s free agency presumably got a lot simpler after the Yankees, who came achingly close to advancing to the World Series back in October, went out and snagged the reigning National League MVP. To absolutely no one’s great surprise, Sabathia would prefer to spend his age-38 season getting...
Former Yankees Prospect Dustin Fowler Suing White Sox Over Injured Knee
Dustin Fowler made his MLB debut for the Yankees on June 29 of this year, at the Chicago White Sox. In the bottom of the first inning, Fowler tracked a fly ball into foul territory in shallow right field and crashed hard into the wall, injuring his right knee in the process and ending his season....
Jets Offensive Coordinator Admits He Gave Up Against Broncos
Okay, so the Jets’ offense didn’t turn out to be historically awful this season, as I said it had a chance to be. Shoot me. Hell, the Jets even have five wins, which is ... something, I guess. But it still took a grand total of 13 games for their offensive coordinator to cop to saying, Fuck it, let’...
Today In Fake Sports News: Jacksonville Jaguars Declare Bankruptcy, Because Of Thugs
If you are like most NFL fans, you were surprised to learn on Facebook yesterday—or the day before that, or last week—that a NFL team was preparing to declare bankruptcy due to, uh, the entitled and ungrateful thugs and the kneeling during the national anthem and the veterans there’s so many and you...
Kristaps Porzingis Is Hurt, But He's Smart
Kristaps Porzingis removed himself from last night’s 111-104 win over the Nets after a non-contact injury to his left knee. He tweaked it once in the first half and then left the game in the third quarter after re-aggravating it on this play. ...
Jeremy Kerley Says A Ghost May Have Tainted His Pee
Jets receiver Jeremy Kerley is back at practice after serving a four-game suspension for a positive PED test. At the time of his ban, Kerley said he was “shocked,” as he had never knowingly taken steroids....
Michael Beasley Was The Space Oddity The Knicks Needed
Tuesday’s game between the Knicks and Lakers was pretty fun to watch, but it was also a reminder that New York is gradually staggering out of the Basketball Dark Ages, its path forward lit by the bright French teen Frank Ntilikina and the divine rays emanating from The Long Son of God....
Amazing Online Hoax <em></em>Welcomes "Washington RedHawks" To The NFL
As a general rule, when the internet’s baking outer shitlands send aspiring creators of fake news, it isn’t sending us its best. It’s sending Destroy Belly Fat With One Weird Click fraudwads, it’s sending Macedonian click-hustlers and pinwheel-eyed domestic weirdos whose minds have been corroded by...
Dipshit Saints Fan Sues Team Over Anthem Protests
A Saints fan named Lee Dragna, who appears to be a real dumbass, has filed a lawsuit against the team seeking a refund for his season tickets. He wants the refund because his ability to enjoy Saints games has been ruined by the NFL’s anthem protests....
The Lakers And Knicks Went Nuts For Two Minutes
Madison Square Garden looks like an extremely fun place to be tonight, as two teams filled with intriguing young talents keep going back and forth with each other through three quarters. The game’s excitement peaked (so far) with this pulse-pounding two minutes of basketball, which kicked off with a...
Mike Tomlin Mangles Metaphor
Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin is plenty fired up to play the Patriots on Sunday, and he’s not afraid to say so. From ESPN:...
Rich People Demolished <i>L.A. Weekly</i> To Build The Future They Want For Journalism
In 2009, L.A. Weekly wrote a story about jerkin’—a dance craze sweeping across the Los Angeles basin—that highlighted the work of then little-known rapper YG. “He was so fresh out of prison, he still had ‘FREE YG!’ on his MySpace page,” the story’s author Jeff Weiss told me. It was one of the first ...
Uh Oh, Someone's Grouchy
The Patriots couldn’t convert a single third down (in 11 chances) in Monday night’s 27-20 loss to the Dolphins. Head coach Bill Belichick opened up about the defeat after the game by grumbling and staring and grumbling some more....
Michael Beasley Fouled Out In 10 Minutes And Knicks Fans Loved It
Michael Beasley, a man who still plays in the NBA, managed to commit six fouls in 10 minutes of playing time in the Knicks’ 111-107 win over the Hawks on Sunday. ...
Savor The Mental Image Of Kevin Durant Hiding From An Enraged Boogie
Warriors director of team operations Eric Housen has a big job, behind the scenes, keeping Golden State’s basketball operation running smoothly. Lots of good stuff about Housen’s role in this New York Times story, read it for yourself, yes, yes, BRING ME THE STORY OF KEVIN DURANT FLEEING DEMARCUS CO...