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Evan Turner Has The Ultimate Phil Jackson Thought Experiment
Imagine: The year is 2017. You are the president of a dysfunctional NBA franchise, seemingly with no professional goals other than increasing the dysfunction of said franchise and maniacally preaching the virtues of triangles. You do not consider yourself beholden to your players or fans or, really,...

Kristaps Porzingis Has Produced The Only Relatable Athlete Workout Videos
This afternoon LeBron James posted a video of himself kneeling on a rubber sphere while waggling a large rubbery wand, that, per our own Tim Burke’s experiences, is liable to knock you right on your ass should you stop waggling it at the right rate. Every fiber of James’s action-figure torso strains...

Put Phil Jackson In Jail And Then Put The Jail In Space
Phil Jackson had millions of sad, tri-state area sphincters clenching after an April presser when he said there was no player on the Knicks who was safe from the trading block. They stayed clenched when Kristaps Porzingis skipped his exit meetings, apparently frustrated after wading through this sew...

David Brooks: My Judgment Is Appallingly Bad, Therefore Listen To Me
In the abstract, David Brooks’s choice to begin today’s Times column about the assorted Trump/Russia investigations with the following isn’t necessarily a bad one....

Clayton Kershaw Gives Up Four Home Runs For First Time In Career, Looks Suddenly And Distressingly Mortal
Clayton Kershaw began the night against the Mets looking more or less like Clayton Kershaw, which is to say that he began the night looking as if he’d be very hard to hit. But that soon unraveled—seemingly slowly, at first, and then very quickly—and suddenly it was the seventh inning and baseball’s ...

Keith Hernandez Thinks He's Off The Air, Says Tanner Roark's "Getting His Tits Lit"
SNY analyst Keith Hernandez was caught in an unfortunate spot tonight when the broadcast came back from commercial early and caught him unawares—right as he was discussing how Washington Nationals starter Tanner Roark has been “getting his tits lit” lately....

Yankees Prospect Gleyber Torres To Have Tommy John Surgery
The Yankees are very good, and are on track to get even better given the amount of developing young talent currently stocking the major-league roster and farm system. One of these young talents is 20-year-old shortstop Gleyber Torres, who will now undergo season-ending Tommy John surgery....

N.J. Mayor Still Ranting Online About "Pathetic Group Of Loser Trolls" Who Crying Jordan'd Him
Last week we brought you the story of Cinnaminson (N.J.) mayor Anthony Minniti, who got Crying Jordan’d on a town Facebook page and went absolutely bonkers over it. Minniti told the Philadelphia Inquirer on Thursday that “I’m not angry at all now,” but his Facebook rants suggest he has yet to “actua...

Rating Pro Wrestling's New "Best Match Ever" Is Way More Contentious Than It Needs To Be<em></em><em></em>
This week, much has been made of the main event of New Japan Pro Wrestling’s annual Dominion event, which took place on Sunday. IWGP heavyweight champion Kazuchika Okada and challenger Kenny Omega went to a 60-minute time-limit draw, the hallmark of classic title matches for decades. It came five mo...

Mets Update: The Mets Are All Fucked Up
Let’s check in with the New York Mets, who are supposedly a Major League Baseball team playing in the NL East....

Aaron Hicks Robs Angels Of Grand Slam With Leaping Catch Over The Wall
The Yankees got out to a four-run lead over the Angels in the top of the first inning tonight, and Aaron Hicks wasn’t ready to see it slip away. With the bases loaded for Anaheim in the bottom of the inning, he leaped for a perfectly-timed grab over the wall in center field in order to rob Luis Valb...

Ian Happ Did Something Only Four Other Players In History Have Done
Cubs rookie Ian Happ went 1-for-5 last night with a walk, a grand slam, and four strikeouts during the Cubs’ 14-3 beatdown over the Mets. That makes him, per Baseball Reference, one of only five players in baseball history to hit a grand slam and earn a Golden Sombrero in a single game....

Odell Beckham Jr. Takes A Shot At The Media With His Cleats
The handwringing over Odell Beckham Jr.’s decision to skip out on the Giants’ voluntary OTAs has been the most exhausting storyline of the NFL offseason. The NFL media would be a lot better if everyone stopped pretending to care that some players skip OTAs, and Beckham appears to agree with that sen...

Iman Shumpert Makes Me Real Sad
Exactly midway through the second quarter, well before Game 5 had drifted out to a place beyond hope, LeBron kicked the ball out for a nice open three, as LeBron likes to do. The pass might’ve been a few inches low, but still left this teammate plenty of time to beat Kevin Durant’s scrambling closeo...

The Aaron Judge Hype Is Unstoppable (For Now)
Aaron Judge hit another home run Monday night. It was his 22nd on the year, a dramatic eighth-inning, two-run shot that ended up being the difference for his team. Right now, in his first full season, he’s on pace to win the AL Triple Crown. If he somehow keeps hitting dingers at his current rate, h...

Terrible Columnist Argues Bill Cosby Is Not A Rapist Because She Liked <i>The Cosby Show</i>
Without hyperbole, we have found one of the worst major-newspaper columns since Mark Whicker left the yard....

Pay No Attention To This Man
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Aaron Judge Caps Two-Day Tear Through O's Pitching With This Monster 495-Foot Dinger
That there is exactly where you do not want to leave a pitch against Aaron Judge. That is the portal to baseball hell....

New Jersey Politician Throws Shit Fit After Getting Crying Jordan'd
Cinnaminson (N.J.) mayor Anthony Minniti lost his bid for re-election to the township committee Tuesday when a retired police sergeant defeated him in the Republican primary. When a Facebook user Crying Jordan’d Minniti’s campaign flyer and posted the image to the Cinnaminson Friends & Neighbors pag...

What Are Your Favorite News Bloopers?
Today, we posted an old news blooper in which a story about former NFL player Kevin Everett accidentally had the wrong (but perfect) accompanying footage. Since then, the Deadspin staff has been remembering news gaffes and fuckups....