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Puke Eating & Butt-Hat Licking: Yesterday In Disgusting Baseball Fan Behavior
This MLB season is not even a week old, yet fans are already resorting to the kind of boredom-reducing insane behavior we usually see in late September. Two separate incidents in Detroit and Milwaukee will, if you continue reading any further, probably ruin your appetite for the day. You’ve been war...
![Will Smith's Alleged Murderer Is A Former High School Football Star [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/aozowcjwpjxmq2pvlhgd.jpg)
Will Smith's Alleged Murderer Is A Former High School Football Star [UPDATES]
Update (12:54 p.m.): The New Orleans Advocate reports Will Smith ate dinner with former New Orleans police captain Billy Ceravolo shortly before being murdered. Ceravolo was a defendant in a high-profile lawsuit filed by Cardell Hayes over the shooting death of Hayes’s father in 2005. The Advocate r...
![Former Saints Defensive End Will Smith Shot To Death In New Orleans [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/rwvwsasvti5lxwzupg4w.jpg)
Former Saints Defensive End Will Smith Shot To Death In New Orleans [UPDATE]
Will Smith, who played defensive end in New Orleans for ten years, is dead after a shooting in that city’s Lower Garden district according to the Times-Picayune....

A-Rod Whacks Dong
Alex Rodriguez hit his first home run of the season today in Detroit, giving the Yankees an early lead thanks to A-Rod’s massive dong....

Brandon Marshall Found Not Liable In Civil Trial
Brandon Marshall has been found not liable in a federal civil trial resulting from the 2012 fight at a Manhattan club, during which a woman said the New York Jets wide receiver punched her in the face. Police investigated the fight in 2012 and declined to bring any criminal charges. ...

American Cities, Ranked
The staff of Deadspin is rather geographically diverse. We are centered in New York City, but we have outposts in D.C., Philly, L.A., Ohio, San Francisco, and Florida. Combine this with our argumentative nature and proclivity to rank things, and you can see where this is going (to the blog you are r...

Jets Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Who Missed One Snap In 10 Years, Retires
According to ESPN’s Rich Cimini, New York Jets tackle D’Brickashaw Ferguson has decided to retire after playing 10 NFL seasons. Ferguson, 32, hasn’t commented publicly on his decision, but Cimini cites a source who said Ferguson “just felt it was time.”...

The Eerie Silence Around The Brandon Marshall Trial
For the past week, details of the night Brandon Marshall is accused of punching a woman during a Manhattan nightclub brawl in 2012 have unfurled in a federal civil courtroom. There was testimony from the woman, Christin Myles, who said Marshall punched her, leaving her eye in excruciating pain. “I h...

Yankees Protest Game Over Confusing Baserunning Call
I, for one, am excited that 2016 has kicked off as the season of baserunning controversies. ...

Reports: Phil Jackson Wants To Keep Kurt Rambis, Bring Plague And Pestilence To New York
If you have a New York Knicks fan in your life, go find them right now and give them a hug. Be there for them, and console them, but don’t tell them everything is going to be all right. It probably isn’t....

Sixers Win Game, Make History
The Philadelphia 76ers—a misshapen experiment in gaming the NBA Draft lottery, who, weirdly enough, play actual basketball games—won their tenth game of the season tonight. Pity the poor Pelicans, who came into the year as a sexy pick to win 50 games, but had to stand by as Carl Landry (who had 22 p...

Read The Laughable Lawsuit Patriots Fans Filed Against The NFL Over Ball-Deflation Punishment
It is a pleasant surprise that this lawsuit, filed today by New England Patriots fans against the NFL, is not scrawled in crayon on the back of a Papa Gino’s placemat, or smeared in shit on the wall of a truck-stop bathroom. But then you read it, and it might as well be: it accuses the NFL, in punis...

There Are Two Ninja Turtles Behind Home Plate At Yankee Stadium Thanks To John Oliver
The best seats in the house at Yankee Stadium this afternoon belong to a pair of dudes wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes. And we all have Last Week Tonight to thank....

John Oliver RUDELY INTERRUPTS Yankees Grounds Crew's "Y.M.C.A." Performance, LOUDLY FARTS Directly Onto George Steinbrenner Monument In Front Of His Sons
The Yankees suck. You knew this—their new policies prohibit print-at-home tickets, a move specifically designed to stop fans from reselling premium seats at below-face-value prices. When asked why, COO Lonn Trost said it’s to protect rich fans from having to sit next to the poors. Luckily for your e...

That's Fine Ball Control
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Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....

Mirotic, Mirotic, Put Your Hands All Over My Body
WMBC’s evening news presented some highlights of last week’s Knicks-Bulls game, and anchor Mark Fontes of the New York City-area independent station struggled a bit with a certain unfamiliar Montenegrin pro basketballer’s name....

This Is The Worst Thing Ever Written About Millennials
Let me preempt you here: You’re right, I probably haven’t read everything written about millennials. Whatever fibers (tendons? nerves?) are strained by eye-rolling wouldn’t be able to handle all that, in my case. And, in fact, I invite you to propose other contenders for this title. But what I’ve go...
