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Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....
Mirotic, Mirotic, Put Your Hands All Over My Body
WMBC’s evening news presented some highlights of last week’s Knicks-Bulls game, and anchor Mark Fontes of the New York City-area independent station struggled a bit with a certain unfamiliar Montenegrin pro basketballer’s name....
This Is The Worst Thing Ever Written About Millennials
Let me preempt you here: You’re right, I probably haven’t read everything written about millennials. Whatever fibers (tendons? nerves?) are strained by eye-rolling wouldn’t be able to handle all that, in my case. And, in fact, I invite you to propose other contenders for this title. But what I’ve go...
Matt Harvey Is Upset Everyone Made Fun Of His Bladder Infection
Publications across America, this one included, had a grand old time coming up with silly headlines to put above stories about Mets ace Matt Harvey’s bladder infection and blood clots, which briefly threatened to cost Harvey his Opening Day start. Harvey saw all of our jokes, and he’s not too happy ...
<i>New York Times</i> Responds To NFL's Demand For Retraction, Unleashes The Burns
This week, NFL lawyers sent a letter to The New York Times demanding that the Times’s recent investigation into the league’s bogus concussion studies be retracted. It was so limp that it demanded a proper takedown. Thankfully, the Times was happy to oblige, via a response letter from their own lawye...
Did The Media Create Donald Trump? (No.)
So the question of the moment is: Did the media create Donald Trump?...
Carmelo Anthony Wants To Play In The Olympics To Once Again Know What Winning Feels Like
With Chris Paul announcing that he isn’t going to play in the upcoming Rio de Janeiro Olympics, reporters asked his good friend and USA Basketball stalwart Carmelo Anthony about whether he would going to follow suit. Via the New York Daily News:...
Report: Royals Still Beefin' Over Noah Syndergaard's World Series Brushback Pitch
The thing to remember is that all baseball players are large babies....
NFL Demands Retraction From <i>New York Times</i>
The NFL is still all worked up about that New York Times story that revealed the league’s initial studies on the link between football and CTE to have been based on bunk data. They’re so worked up, in fact, that the league’s lawyers sent a letter to the Times, demanding retraction while making vague...
Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles
Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong wi...
Hoo Boy, Something's Up With Matt Harvey
Mets pitcher Matt Harvey has been scratched from his scheduled start tomorrow, and is a very big question mark to be ready to go for opening day? Why? It’s a big ol’ mystery, but, uh, prepare to panic, probably....
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PSA: You Might Want To Return Any Outstanding VHS Rentals
Of course, it’s unclear exactly how you would return them, considering all but 50 Blockbusters nationwide closed in 2013 (and most independent video stores probably folded long before then). But apparently, holding on to a rented video long after the return date—let’s be honest, long after you even ...
Yoenis Cespedes Decides Ball That's <i>Right There</i> Is Unplayable, Allows Inside-The-Park Home Run
A truly amazing spring training lowlight from Mets-Astros this afternoon, as an A.J. Reed ball hit past Yoenis Cespedes stuck at the base of the wall. It didn’t wedge under anything; it wasn’t trapped, or unreachable; it wasn’t obstructed in any way that would have warranted the umpire calling dead ...
A-Rod To Retire Once The Yankees Have Paid Him Every Cent They Owe Him, And Not A Moment Before
After an MLB witch-hunt designed to force him out of the game in shame, the Yankees’ repeated attempts to void his contract and his milestone bonus money, and a comeback season that earned him redemption—if only as a foil to more actively sinister forces—Alex Rodriguez said today that he will retire...
How Vapid And Racist And Cloistered Is The American Media, Really?
Tragedies—like yesterday’s terrorist attack in Brussels—deserve and receive immediate international media attention. In America, we dedicate a particularly breathless, all-encompassing sort of coverage to violent news out of Western European countries. To put it another way: white people suffering g...