new Page 227 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Antonio Cromartie's Penis Is Unstoppable
Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has fathered 10 children, so it made plenty of sense when he decided to get a vasectomy, because 10 children is plenty of children. Today, we learned that not even a procedure that leaves most couples with a less than 1-percent chance of getting pregnant can stop th...
What Happened With Chandler Jones?
There is a strange, mysterious story unfolding involving Patriots Pro Bowl DE Chandler Jones, police, a hospital visit, an officer’s apparent reference to drugs, and the unusual deletion of police dispatch records once the media started sniffing around. Let’s try to sort out what we know so far....
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....
Report: Uhh, The Eagles Are Interviewing Tom Coughlin
Tom Coughlin, the grumpiest Tom in the world, might be switching NFC East head coaching jobs. He stepped down as Giants coach last week, made Eli Manning cry, and dissed team president John Mara, all in one press conference. Now, according to Fox Sports’ Mike Garafolo, Coughlin is interviewing to mo...
<i>Star Wars</i>-Inspired Patriots Hype Video Doesn't Even Make Sense
Get ready for the “sports highlights mashed up with Star Wars: The Force Awakens” genre to become a ubiquitous internet thing. Let us hope the other entries are better than this one....
<i>New York Times</i> Not Quiiiite Ready To Tie Derek Jeter To A Doping Ring
While the paper doesn’t seem eager to draw attention to it, New York Times columnist Michael Powell has a scoop today: Derek Jeter is connected, at a degree of remove, to what recent Al Jazeera reporting presents as a doping ring that allegedly provided Peyton Manning, James Harrison, and Ryan Howar...
Tom Coughlin Makes Eli Manning Tear Up, Owns John Mara, Rides Off Into The Sunset
Tom Coughlin, who stepped down as head coach of the New York Giants Monday, said his goodbyes at a press conference today. The 69-year-old said that regardless of the changes, he had full faith that quarterback Eli Manning would adapt. “He’s done it before, he’ll handle it again,” Coughlin said....
Brian Urlacher Got Hair
Former Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher used to be bald, but he recently got hair. Look at his nice hair. Wow, that hair’s really nice....
More Evidence That Tom Brady Is A Fancy Dog
We have previously put forward the theory that Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is in fact a fancy dog. For those of you who scoffed at our perfectly sound reasoning, I present more irrefutable evidence that Tom Brady is indeed a dog, and a fancy one at that....
Cam Newton Snatches Bucs Jersey From Fan, Tumbles, Smiles
Has anyone in the NFL had more fun than Cam Newton this season?...
Tom Coughlin Shuffles Off
After what feels like 57 years of being on the hot seat, Tom Coughlin, a man who perfectly embodied the word “coot,” is leaving the New York Giants. Officially, Coughlin has decided to step down, through a statement released by the team:...
Cam Newton Had To Assure A Teammate That His Audible Was Real
Cam Newton’s chatter at the line is demonstrative, and occasionally hypnotic (“RREADYYYYYY”). In yesterday’s 38-10 Panthers win over Tampa Bay, mics caught him calling for an audible that sounded like “Even Janitor”—and then reassuring a teammate (or perhaps an opponent?) who asked “is that real” th...
Knicks Guard Cleanthony Early Shot During Roadside Robbery
Knicks guard Cleanthony Early was shot in the right leg when a group of at least six men held up the Uber car he and his girlfriend were riding in early Wednesday morning. Early was robbed of jewelry, cash, and his cell phone, and his injuries are not life threatening....
You Could Probably Start For The Yankees, But Their Bullpen Is Absolutely Terrifying
The New York Yankees have acquired Aroldis Chapman, the hardest-throwing pitcher in baseball, from the Cincinnati Reds for a package of four mostly unheralded minor leaguers....
CNN's Poppy Harlow Passes Out Live On-Air
Poppy Harlow’s Monday isn’t going so well; the CNN anchor passed out live on the air, returning after several minutes with the explanation that “I got a little hot and I passed out for a moment”:...
Bill Belichick Had A Plan, It Just Backfired Completely
By now we know that the Patriots’ decision to kick off to start overtime wasn’t a mistake—or at least, not the one it appeared to be at the time. New England never touched the ball in their 26-20 OT loss to the Jets, and while the outcome wasn’t by design, the strategy was. Whether or not it was a w...
Seven Or So On One Or So
This, from AP shooter Andy Clayton-King, is a hell of a photo (as noted by ESPN’s ESPN on NFL Twitter account)....
Patriots Lose After Screwing Up Overtime Coin Toss [UPDATE]
Eric Decker hauled in a game-winning touchdown catch after the Jets were gifted the ball in overtime thanks to a colossal screwup by the New England Patriots....
Falcons End Panthers Undefeated Season
The Carolina Panthers’ bid to become the third 15-0 team in NFL history went down in Atlanta this afternoon as the Atlanta Falcons took them down 20-13. MVP-favorite Cam Newton threw for a paltry 142 yards, but he rushed for 46 yards and a touchdown. Julio Jones carried the Falcons with 178 yards an...