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Dwyane Wade And Chris Bosh Opt Out Of Contracts

The shell of Dwyane Wade has opted out of the remaining two years and 41 million dollars on his contract in hopes of signing with the same team for less money. Wade is looking instead to spread 60 million over four years. Chris Bosh has also opted out of his remaining $42 million, and is reportedly ...

Islanders GM On Draft Pick: "He'll Fit Right In; They Shit On Me, Too"

The New York Islanders traded back into the first round and selected Josh Ho-Sang with the 28th pick in the NHL draft Friday night. Islanders GM Garth Snow apparently saw something of a kindred spirit in the much-discussed 18-year-old out of the Ontario Hockey League because now he thinks he's got s...

<em>Good Day New York</em> Anchor Gets Horny Over His Female Colleague's Body

The folks at Good Day New York sent a correspondent out out to the newly renovated Action Park in New Jersey yesterday. It was an assignment that made for some fun on-the-scene reporting from Anna Gilligan. It also presented a good opportunity for Greg Kelly to do some heavy-breathed creepin' on his...

The German Press Is Talking Shit About Us, You Guys [NSFW]

Everyone is gearing up for this afternoon's colossal clash between the U.S. and Germany, and the Germans are no exception. The cocky bastards that they are, almost all of the coverage in their papers pretty blatantly take shots at our boys....

A Sense Of Where You Are

From Clancy Martin's review of Geoff Dyer's new book:...

Report: Jozy Altidore To Miss The U.S.-Germany Match

On Twitter, Andrew Wiebe is reporting that Jürgen Klinsmann has already ruled out Jozy Altidore for the next match against Germany as he still recovers from his hamstring strain:...

Melo has officially opted out of his option for 2014-15. The Knicks can still pay him the most—about $129 million over five years to four years $96 million for everyone else—which means at least something since Anthony is 30 now. The Bulls, who have not scored a regulation field goal in two years, a...

Steve Martin: A Very Funny Fellow

There's a good excerpt from Mike Sacks' new book, Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today's Top Comedy Writers, over at the New Yorker....

Marcell Ozuna Ends The Game With A Perfect Laser To Home Plate

This Marcell Ozuna highlight is from Friday night, but it's still awesome enough to post now....

Report: Melo Will Opt Out Of Knicks Contract, Become Free Agent

We have a Sunday Wojbomb. Carmelo Anthony will reportedly opt out of his contract with the Knicks and test free agency....

Richard Thompson Muddies Commonwealth Predictions All To Hell

Jamaica, right? That's where the winner of the Commonwealth Games' men's 100 meters should come from. Enter Richard Thompson, of Trinidad and Tobago, who has now cast serious doubt of a Jamaican champion. ...

Report On Drunks At Luke Bryan Concert Features Really, Really Drunk Guy

You are probably not going to see anyone as drunk as the guy featured in this report on a Luke Bryan concert tonight in Pittsburgh, as aired on WPXI's 11pm news....

Aaron Hernandez Requests Jail Transfer For His Own Safety

Attorneys for former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, who is charged with three homicides, have filed papers requesting a transfer out of Bristol County Jail. Hernandez's attorneys want him closer to Boston to cut down on travel time, but also claim Bristol County Sheriff Tom Hodgson has a clear ...

"Spain Was The Titanic": The World Reacts To A World Cup Collapse

It's full-on postmortem time in Spain and around the soccer world, as people grapple with La Roja's ignominious exit from this year's World Cup. One of the finest international runs the sport has ever seen went out not with a whimper, but with an embarrassing, well-documented shriek....

Pat Riley Says The Heat "Don't Need To Rebuild"

The biggest question of the NBA offseason will be what becomes of the Miami Heat, who obviously cannot challenge again with LeBron James, Dwyane Wade's corpse, Chris Bosh (who is good and whatever but making a shitload of money), and the rest of the crap roster. It was perhaps Pat Riley's biggest co...

Bartolo Colon Hits Double, Scores From Second, Manages Not To Die

This is not a prank. We have obtained footage of Bartolo Colon running. I repeat, this is real. Bartolo Colon ran in an actual baseball game....

Aaron Hernandez Seeks Patriots Medical Records As Potential Evidence

The Patriots have largely stayed clear of involvement in either of Aaron Hernandez's two murder cases. That may change; Hernandez's attorneys have asked a judge to subpoena the Patriots for all of Hernandez's medical records during his time with the team. Well, nearly all of them....

It's The 20-Year Anniversary Of The Greatest Prank Call Of All Time

The O.J. Simpson car chase had its share of memorable moments. For you, maybe it was the absurdity of a white Ford Bronco leading a phalanx of police well under the speed limit, or the knowledge that Simpson had a gun to his head, or Al Cowlings telling police "You know who I am, goddammit" or just ...

The 2014 Heat Were Worse In The Finals Than LeBron's 2007 Cavs Team

At some point around the time Dwyane Wade was impaled, for the second time, on a doddering walkabout turnover in the paint, the wider basketball-viewing world realized that Dwyane Wade has been dead all this time, and was only now being told. But Wade was far from the only Heat carcass to wash up th...

Heat Fan Explains Loss To San Antonio TV Reporter: "Shit Happens"

Amidst the thousands of Spurs fans celebrating on the streets of San Antonio tonight, a reporter from CBS affiliate KENS decided instead to interview a Heat fan. He didn't have much to say....