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This Might Be The Oldest Surviving American Soccer Footage
If you're interesting in the long, under-celebrated history of American soccer, I can't recommend enough the uploads from Youtube user "soccermavn." There are old ads, footage of NASL's glory days, and even video of the short-lived United Soccer Association. (Update: He apparently got lots of thes...

The Miami Heat Minority Owner Who Sued Google Because Of This Derpy Photo Is A Dick
The mug you see there belongs to Raanan Katz, minority owner of the Miami Heat, former Israeli basketball player, and real estate developer in Sunny Isles, Fla. He's into silly faces and frivolous lawsuits, and somehow he just got a court in Florida to walk all over the First Amendment....

Photo: The Packers Fan Captured In Its Natural Habitat
The Minnesota-Green Bay game earlier this month that culminated a mass brawl involving a man in a purple sombrero has also spawned this gem of a picture, a self-shot of two visiting fans marred bettered by a photobombing by the Platonic ideal of a Packers fan....

Would You Move Into A Murder House?
I'm out on vacation next week. Your guest Funbagger, once again, is Justin Halpern. Email him your questions here. He'll answer them in between eating Chinese food and going to the movies. Now onto your letters:...

Here Is A Gif Of Wade Boggs Attempting To Dance At Last Night's Oklahoma City Thunder Game
We're not sure why Wade Boggs decided to drop by last night's Spurs-Thunder game, but we're glad he did. In the fourth quarter, just before a Russell Westbrook free throw, the Fox Sports Oklahoma cameras found the baseball Hall of Famer in the stands—after which he boogied a bit in his seat....

Josh Brent Won't Be Allowed On The Cowboys' Sideline For The Rest Of The Season
Josh Brent is facing charges of intoxication manslaughter from the Dec. 8 car crash that killed teammate Jerry Brown. But on Sunday, there he was, standing on the sideline for the Cowboys' game against the Steelers. Brent's teammates wanted him there, and they had been encouraged by Brown's mother. ...

The Jets Will Make A QB Change, Just In Time To Continue Being Terrible And Directionless
Coming into this season, the Jets had two choices. They could fully commit to Mark Sanchez, signal their confidence in him by signing him to a contract extension, and decide that win or lose, he was going to be the team's quarterback. Or they could acquire a promising backup, one who would immediate...

Mark Sanchez Was A Goofy High School Kid, Like Everyone Else
While Mark Sanchez was completely blowing the game for the Jets last night, someone on Twitter brought up the fact that his girlfriend had gone to high school with Sanchez. With access to his girlfriend's yearbook, he decided to share some high school pictures of Sanchez....

Takeru Kobayashi Eating Hot Dogs In Slow Motion Is Just As Gross As You'd Expect It To Be
This video comes to us courtesy of Animal New York, and it features Takeru Kobayashi, everyone's favorite eater in exile, wolfing down 12 hot dogs in 60 seconds. In slow motion. It's pretty gross. Although we must admit that the musical score does add a certain artistic flair....

Tony Parker Got Everyone To Bite On A Fake Free Throw
The most effective fake is the one when everyone's expecting you to shoot. Considering Tony Parker was at the foul line, this was probably the single most effective shot fake ever pulled off....

Jim Boeheim Closed His Press Conference Last Night With A Call For More Gun Control
Last night, Syracuse men's basketball coach Jim Boeheim earned his 900th career victory when his team defeated the University of Detroit Mercy 72-68. After the game, though, Boeheim seemed to have the tragedy in Newtown on his mind, as he ended with some spirited words about gun control. Boeheim a...

Arsenal's Jack Wilshere Took A Studs-Up Boot To The Crotch Yesterday
Gunners star Jack Wilshere entered a world of pain yesterday in the first half of Arsenal's match at Reading, when Royals midfielder Jobi McAnuff delivered a boot square to Wilshere's balls....

Dale Murphy's Son Drew His Dad This Heartwarming Cartoon
It's Dale Murphy's 15th and final year on the Hall of Fame ballot, and while his chances of getting in are slim, his children are doing their part to honor him the way they remember him. Tyson Murphy isn't a sports fan—he's an artist at Blizzard Entertainment, the video game developer responsible fo...

Possibly Suicidal Pigeon Refuses To Leave Field During Chiefs-Raiders Game
We don't know really know what the hell is going on with this pigeon, which crashed Sunday's Chiefs-Raiders game by landing right in the middle of the action and absolutely refusing to give a shit about the 22 large men that were stomping around it. Maybe the pigeon was sick and disoriented, or wo...

Kendrick Perkins's Follow-Through Is Just The Best
This Youtube video is titled "Kendrick Perkins YOLO follow through," and I honestly can't think of a better description. Perk doesn't take a lot of jumpers (he made two in last night's win over San Antonio, fulfilling Mayan prophecy), so when he found himself in space for his second, he wasn't abo...

Even Though The Colts Lost, Center A.Q. Shipley Picked A Winner
The Texans rolled past Indianapolis Sunday by a 29-17 score, and it left many Colts players to search for answers. Others, meanwhile, went digging for gold....

Tim Tebow Had A Higher Quarterback Rating Than Mark Sanchez Against The Titans
Tim mustered a 39.6 passer rating to Sanchez's 32.6 on 131 fewer yards passing and 13 fewer completions. Put another way, doing nothing is better than Mark Sanchez....

"It's Hard To Watch An NFL Team Struggle With The Most Basic Concept": Jets-Titans, In Three GIFs
Tennessee 14, New York Jets 10: That quote comes courtesy of Mike Tirico, one play before the two minute warning and the Jets, as they have all season, were having a hard time calling plays and getting personnel on the field in time. It sums up the Jets just as aptly as that GIF up there, which is ...

Everyone At ESPN Is Still Under Tim Tebow's Spell
Both the graphics department and the on-air talent—in this case, Chris Berman—believe this to be Tim "it only took ten seconds" Tebow and Jake Locker chattin' and tossin' the old pigskin at the beginning of Monday Night Countdown....

How An Alleged Rape Involving Ohio High School Football Players Unfolded On Twitter, Instagram, And YouTube
Yesterday's New York Times has a thorough and thoroughly unsettling story about two members of Ohio's Steubenville High School football team who stand accused of raping a drunk and unresponsive 16-year-old girl during a night of partying in August. Maybe most unsettling of all: The girl may never ha...