nf Page 1006 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Authorities Investigate LSU QB, LSU Investigates Other QB Options
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?
Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress....

Cam Newton Doesn't Have Any Tattoos Or Piercings, And Jerry Richardson "Wants To Keep It That Way"
Back in April, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson told the Charlotte Observer that he's never wanted a "roster of 53 choirboys" on his football team, which is a very nice and almost renegade sentiment for a 75-year-old millionaire to share. But he also doesn't want a quarterback with tattoos, piercin...

Bay Area Radio Hosts Have Insane Solutions To Fan Violence
KNBR's Damon Bruce supports profiling for allowing fans into games. [UPDATE: Damon was very insistent that he never mentioned or intended a racial aspect to the profiling, and we'll take him at his word. So, keeping out races, no, keeping out thugs who just come to games to start trouble, yes.]...

Chad Ochocinco Says He Will Reimburse The Buccaneers Rookie Who Jacked Him Up And Got Fined $20K
Rookie Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster may have two first names, but he doesn't have a lot of money. He's a rookie, and a third-round pick, which means $20,000 means more to him than it does to, say, Chad Ochocinco, the Patriots receiver Foster hit in last Thursday's preseason game....

Jerry Jones Denies Storming The Locker Room After One Half Of A Preseason Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Cowboys owner says he didn't get furious until after the entire Chargers game....

Kerry Collins Will Never Bow To The Sands Of Time
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Twitter: "We have agreed to terms with Kerry Collins...more details to come." The details being: Indy is hopelessly fucked should soon-to-be-39-year-old Kerry Collins have to play a snap in that offense....

The Ravens' Torrey Smith, In The Safest Place Imaginable, Ran For His Life When The Earthquake Hit
Smith, the Ravens' second-round draft pick out of Maryland, was doing a UM commercial when the earth moved. Owings Mills is 120 miles as the crow raven flies from the epicenter of the quake, so we're sure it was intense. We're also sure that a wide open football field is precisely the safest place...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Special Playmaker Chris Johnson Makes Special Plays, Needs Money
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Lil Wayne And Todd Haley Constitute Football's Newest And Maybe Worst Bromance
By and large, there's not a lot to like about Kansas City Chiefs head coach Todd Haley. He played golf, not football, in high school and college. His father was an NFL big shot. He's prone to tantrums. He rolled over some coordinators quickly. Whitlock hates him....

Go Forth And Spread The Good Word That Tim Tebow Is Essentially The Broncos' Fourth-String QB
"[O]ne highly knowledgeable member of the organization told me Monday, 'If everything was totally equal, and this were a competition based only on performance at this camp, Tebow would probably be the fourth-string guy. Kyle [Orton] is far and away the best, and Tebow's way behind [Brady] Quinn, too...

Cops, 49ers Will Work To Make Fans Less Drunk After Especially Drunken Raiders-49ers Game
The annual drunk brawl between 49ers and Raiders fans took place this past weekend, and it was, historically speaking, more drunk and brawl-y than usual. In what essentially amounts to a timeout for grown-ups, both teams have requested that the NFL "indefinitely suspend" the annual preseason "Battle...

Bill Belichick Wants To Abolish The Extra Point, Because Why The Hell Not?
Hooded evil genius cum Patriots coach Bill Belichick has a weekly radio appearance on WEEI—unlike David Portnoy—and, in this week's, he just started spitballing. It's the preseason, and the Patriots have been an easy 2-0, so, why bother with talking about the team?...

Favre Look-Alike Wasn't Trying To Fool Anyone By Wearing Favre Jersey Around Green Bay
Remember that guy who went to a Packers practice last week and impersonated a certain No. 4 known for gunslinging photos of his dong via text? His name is Kirk Ermatinger, he's from Ripon, Wis., and a Green Bay television station has caught up with him. Yes, Ermatinger acknowledged, he looks just l...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: The Win Is Fake, But The Injuries Are Real
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

This Evening: What NFL Team Should You Root For? Here's A Flowchart
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 22, the day we learned the Internet (read: humanity) totally sucked. Chart by Paul Caputo and Shea Lewis for Interpretation By Design (click chart to enlarge, or click here if that doesn't work). Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

San Francisco 49ers-Oakland Raiders Annual Preseason Series May Be Eliminated Due To Crazy Fan Violence
"Raiders and 49ers expected to issue a joint statement announcing that their annual exhibition series will be suspended."[Via Tim Kawakami]...

The Rush To Write Off Terrelle Pryor As Another Raiders Bust Is On
There was something predictable about Oakland's selection of Terrelle Pryor in today's supplemental draft, and it wasn't the pick itself: it was the mad rush among pundits to point out the inevitability of the Raiders taking a guy with a spotty past. It's the laziest sort of joke, and one your 50-so...

The Shootings At Candlestick Park Happened Because The NFL Doesn't Have An 18-Game Schedule, You See
Via Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee: "'I think when you have a preseason game, when you don't have your regular-season ticket holders coming to the game, I think that plays a big factor into it,' 49ers president Jed York said. He said that's another reason why the NFL wants to eliminate some pres...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Plaxico Catching A Football In A Pretend Game
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....