nf Page 1028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Albert Haynesworth Accused Of Sexual Assault
Haynesworth, who was charged with assault in a road rage incident on Feb. 2, has been accused of sexually assaulting a waitress at the W Hotel last weekend. Haynesworth's agent says there is "no truth to these allegations." [WRC-4]...

We Are All Dave McKenna X
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets disappeared. Today's topic: money-hungry nannies....

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

We Are All Dave McKenna IX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes to death on vanilla ice cream. Today's topic: Bathroom beer sales....

UConn Booster Goes Crawling Back To The Place That Loves His Money
University of Connecticut Board of Trustees Chairman Larry McHugh announced last night that the academic institution has reached detente with booster Robert G. Burton....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...

We Are All Dave McKenna VIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets a proper defenestration. Today's topic: Dan Snyder is a self-defeatingly petulant shit....

Having A Heart Attack? Call Up Sports Talk Radio
Very devoted listener "Smokey" wouldn't let a little myocardial infarction stop him from calling in to Paul Finebaum's show this afternoon. He even got the ER nurse to confirm, as if we'd think he was any weirder for making this up....

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!...

We Are All Dave McKenna VII
Have you read Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" yet? You should. We'll be linking to it every day until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is thrown to the dogs. Today's topics: Dan Snyder — petulant shit, rough talker, lapsed free-speech warrior....

Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....

Titans WR Kenny Britt Has A Problem With Bail Bondsmen
To hear Bails Bails Bails and Boss Bail Bonds tell it, Tennessee Titans WR Kenny Britt swore he'd cover the $12,500 necessary to cut his Jersey City boy Albert Robinson free of The Man's clutches, but when time come to pay, Britt didn't step up....

We Are All Dave McKenna VI
This is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed into the Potomac. Today's topics: the Redskins' top PR guy covering himself in stupid, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....

The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
"He would send me a text at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday, but I'd be like, I have school tomorrow." The quarterback and the high schooler: a thoroughly modern love story. READ » • ALSO: Her lawyer's letter to Deadspin....

The Pittsburgh Paper's Solution For Shut Out Super Bowl Fans Is One Big Conflict Of Interest
Yesterday, an unsigned editorial ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, decrying the NFL's offer of compensation to those fans whose Super Bowl seats were unavailable, and demanding that the league pay them as much as $50,000 each. The editorial failed to mention that one of the people affected by the ...

We Are All Dave McKenna V
Presenting, once again, Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets laughed out of court. Today's topics: Baja Fresh, propaganda, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....

The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez to date a 17-year-old girl. He can do it in Manhattan. He can do it at...

A Comprehensive Guide To That NFL Commercial With All The TV Characters
One of the best ads on last night's broadcast was for the NFL itself, in which they digitally inserted jerseys and logos into TV clips of yore. But the cuts were too quick to fully appreciate. Here's an annotated guide to the fake people inside your television, and their allegiances....

Bob Kraft Still Doesn't Want To Talk About Spygate
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: some folks, like Roger Goodell, just won't let Spygate die....