nf Page 1063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
'Hi, I'm Sidney And I'm Going To Get Tim Tebow Laid'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...
Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....
What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...
Brett Favre's Press Conference, Remixed Flatulently
Brett Favre held a press conference today to officially announce he was returning to the Vikings for one more failed Super Bowl run. While he discussed the physical toll that the game has taken on him, it became clear: Brett's really old....
Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 1
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 1: "Fuck" narrowly edges "shit."...
Tremendous Johnson's Long Hard Road To Madden
Anyone can succeed with the NFL's actual superstars in Madden 11, but there's a certain joy in finding fictional prospects from franchise mode...Wait, is that guy's name really Tremendous Johnson? Time to investigate....
A Look Inside The NFL's Drug Testing Methods, Chad Ochocinco's Bladder
Mr. Ochocino found this note taped to his locker yesterday. It's just the high-tech, low-margin-for-error procedure we've come to expect from the NFL's steroid testing....
This Is Undoubtedly The Worst Cowboys Fight Song In Existence
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...
Philip Rivers Is Hearing Voices, But He Doesn't Have Ryan Mathews' Bladder Issues
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Chargers QB Philip Rivers....
FAVRE-ING: FAVRE ON HIS WAY TO FAVRE ON FAVRE-BOUND FAVRE
Brett Favre is on a plane that is possibly headed towards Minnesota. The muffled shouting you hear is Tarvaris Jackson screaming while submerged in the locker room ice bath. [NFL.com]...
Those Stjarnan Chaps Are At It Again
As spotted by our pals at Pies, the Icelanders who clearly spend more time coming up with dance routines than learning how to tackle have been really quite busy....
Concussions Killed Lou Gehrig, Killing NFL Players
The drumbeat to address concussions in football just grew a little louder, with a new study that links brain trauma to a very ALS-like disease. Lou Gehrig himself may have contracted his namesake disease that very way....
Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....
Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....
Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...
One Female Deadspin Reader Is Still Willing To Have Sex With You If You Join The Facebook Group
One of our lone, lovely female fans is making the most of all the new imaginary friends she's acquired since joining the Deadspin Facebook page. But she needs more options. Help her build a life....
Deadspin I-Team: Which Reporter Asked For Tim Tebow's Autograph? (UPDATE: Chickster Exoneration Edition)
Fox Sports's Alex Marves tweeted this morning that two members of the Cincinnati media had asked for—and received—Tim Tebow's autograph after last night's Bengals-Broncos preseason tilt. Who are the unprofessional sycophants causing such a media uproar/circle jerk?...