nf Page 1065 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment
By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy....

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....

Stay Tuned For Tomorrow's Texas Rangers MLB Finance Party
No, it won't require nearly as much whipped cream as Josh Hamilton's festive night, but it will be fascinating to those of you who enjoy armchair accounting and watching us be nuisances....

Bloodgate Widens: Doctor Admits Slicing Player's Lip To Fake Injury
In a sport with limited substitutions, what's a rugby union side to do when they need to make a late change? Why, use a fake blood capsule, and get the team doctor to cut him. Of course....

Parsing MLB's Finances, So You Don't Have To
For detailed analysis of what the exposed MLB finances mean, keep it tuned to Maury Brown at Biz of Baseball. Spoiler alert: the rich get richer. [Biz of Baseball]...

Al Michaels And Cris Collinsworth Are Far Too Aware Of The Spread
Can we drop the charade and acknowledge that the only people watching the fourth quarter, third stringers of a preseason game are degenerate gamblers? The announcers analyzing a "meaningless" safety certainly knew how to play to the crowd....

MLB Confidential, Part 2: Seattle Mariners
You've seen the first round of financial statements. Now take a look inside the Mariners' books....

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

'Hi, I'm Sidney And I'm Going To Get Tim Tebow Laid'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...

Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....

What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...





