nf Page 1065 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

One Female Deadspin Reader Is Still Willing To Have Sex With You If You Join The Facebook Group
One of our lone, lovely female fans is making the most of all the new imaginary friends she's acquired since joining the Deadspin Facebook page. But she needs more options. Help her build a life....

Deadspin I-Team: Which Reporter Asked For Tim Tebow's Autograph? (UPDATE: Chickster Exoneration Edition)
Fox Sports's Alex Marves tweeted this morning that two members of the Cincinnati media had asked for—and received—Tim Tebow's autograph after last night's Bengals-Broncos preseason tilt. Who are the unprofessional sycophants causing such a media uproar/circle jerk?...

Matt Leinart Is Psyched To Be The Starter, Has A Pest Problem
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: consummate professional, Cardinals QB Matt Leinart....

320-Lb. White Men Can't Jump
Ravens OT Joe Reitz did the honors last night for a TD celebration goalpost dunk. Or, he tried. Which is sad considering he's played more years of high level basketball than football in his life....

The 2010 Deadspin NFC Fantasy Football Preview
Every year, Andy Behrens of Yahoo and I preview the upcoming fantasy season by going through every team in the NFL. All killer, no filler. Listen here. Join us, won't you?...

Brian Urlacher Thinks Julius Peppers Is The Best Player He's Ever Seen
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Vitamin Water spokesperson and Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher....

<em>Hard Knocks</em> Is Already The Rex Ryan Show
The Jets coach gave an inspirational, aspirational, foulmouthed speech to his assembled players (minus Darrelle Revis), and god damn if I'm not fired up right now. I bet I could lead the league in fucking wins. [video via Ape at KSK]...

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Andy Reid Calls Security On Fan In McNabb Jersey
Since McNabb is an unperson at Eagles camp, a fan wearing his number 5 Redskins uni was asked to remove it — supposedly, by dictum of Andy Reid. Please, Philly fans, be sensitive. It hurts Andy too much. [Philly Sports Daily]...

Former Basketball Player Ends Congressional Bid As It Began: Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The former Georgetown basketball player no one remembered who ran for Congress in Tennessee on a campaign of paranoia and family values and batshit insanity? He lost. But at least he's fired off one last batshit insane email....

The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....

After Photography Ban, Soccer Game Covered By Cartoonist
League One side Southampton banned all photographers from their stadium for this weekend's match. The visiting team's newspaper handled it well, reducing the comical situation to, well, a comic....

Arrested Colts Lineman Was Drunk, Barefoot, Soiled, In A Ditch
Indianapolis police arrested Colts DT John Gill early Sunday morning after finding him passed out in a ditch, citing him as "disheveled and soiled" in the police report. [AP]...

Weekend Winner: A Brand New PED Excuse
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our nation's poor, overtrained athletes like Brian Cushing, who says he flunked his drug test only because he worked out so hard....

A-Centaur Suffers A-Boo-Boo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...