nf Page 1074 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Roethlisberger Documents: "His Penis Was Already Out Of His Pants"
Now we know exactly what Roethlisberger was accused of doing that night: straight up, unprotected sex. Let's dig right in to the sordid details, shall we?...

Donovan McNabb's Legacy Haunts Philly In Guise Of Bank Robber
Police are on the lookout for this man, suspected of committing a major jersey foul. Also, robbing a bank. Rush Limbaugh doesn't know how to feel just now. [Inquirer]...

Big Ben Acted Like A Dog And Vice Versa
A police dog donated by Ben Roethlisberger has been suspended for an unwanted assault on an underage girl while kicking back after work. But where would the dog learn such behavior?...

Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....

Last Night's Winner: Steeler Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good of people of Pittsburgh, who don't stand for miscreants, rabble rousers, or hippies. Plus, their heroes very rarely get charged with crimes....

Confirmed: Terrence Austin May Or May Not Be An NFL Draft Prospect
I bet I know what you're thinking right now. What NFL team will draft UCLA's 2nd all-time yardage leader, Terrence Austin? I was right, wasn't I? Thanks to this bizarre, sort-of-informative press release I cannot now give you the answer!...

Jeremy Shockey Is Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places
I.e., on Facebook and Twitter. Shockey is holding a contest for women (he emphasizes the "female" part) to submit a video explaining why he should take them out on a date. This won't end well. [via Chicks In The Huddle]...

Implosion Destructo-Porn: Texas Stadium Edition
Preceded by fireworks (and onlookers paying an admission fee), the 39-year-old Texas Stadium was reduced to rubble this morning. Jerry Jones is a secular Shiva: destroying, in order to re-create....

Santonio Holmes Probably Going To Sit A Few Out
Santonio Holmes is facing a suspension for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy. As the exact reason for the suspension is not yet known, wildly unfounded speculation is welcome below. [PFT]...

Drew Brees Plays Dress-Up With the US Marine Corps
Drew Brees visited Marines in Djibouti on a recent USO tour and got to play with their toys. He's a sharpshooter, etc. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]...

Lou Piniella Bawls Out With His Balls Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The San "Francicso" Giants Need Spellcheck
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jets' Courtship Of Jason Taylor Is Pissing Everyone Off
Taylor's in town to meet with Rex Ryan and company. Dolphins fans are apoplectic. Jets fans are inconsolable. This is pretty much a win-win situation for everyone....

Old Man Favre Becomes A Grandpa
Favre's daughter Brittany gave birth to Parker Brett, who won't make a decision on whether or not to return to the womb until August. [Star Trib]...

Your UConn Looks Mortal Open Thread
That 77-game streak looks to be in jeopardy, as the Huskies trail Stanford 20-12 at the half. (Yes, they are using a shot clock.) Discuss in the comments, if you are so inclined. [Update: UConn wins. Try not to riot.]...

Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....

The Gus Johnson Megamix: A Special Deadspin Films Presentation
The last few weeks, Gus Johnson has been a hot topic. His zany witticisms and unbridled enthusiasm have made a memorable NCAA Tournament that much more memorable. The outpouring of support for Gus was enormous. Consider:...

Giants' Giant Coke Bottle Is A Death Trap
Yet another person is suing the Giants and Coca-Cola after being injured on the slide in the outfield. Let's take a ride through the belly of the beast....

If There's A Gremlin On The Wing, Shaun Rogers Is Your Man
That gun in Rogers's carry-on luggage? It was already cocked, with a full magazine and a bullet in the chamber. Somebody's seen Passenger 57 too many times. [Plain Dealer]...