nf Page 1080 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Darrent Williams Trial Might Explain A Lot About Brandon Marshall
The murder trial of the man accused of shooting Denver Bronco Darrent Williams began yesterday and has already revealed new details of the night of his death—including some that might explain why Brandon Marshall hates Denver so much....

Randy Hustle, Giving It His All
Randy Moss, already vaguely unhappy in New England, took part in an NFL charity softball game. He hit what looked like an easy infield fly...want to guess whether he ran it out or not?...

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...

Jim Harbaugh Knows What The Kids Like
First of all, I'm shocked to find out that they only split two years ago, instead of ten. Jim, you could probably hire them to cut the grass at Stanford Stadium before they play their set. [Twitter]...

Tiger Woods: An Apology In Three Acts
Gawker.TV genius Mike Byhoff has reduced Tiger Woods's apology to its most basic elements: Tiger repeatedly saying he's sorry, Tiger repeatedly talking about family, and Tiger repeatedly sounding like some sort of yogi....

The Real Whores In All This? AP, Reuters, And Bloomberg
Three journalists — from the Associated Press, Reuters, and Bloomberg — accepted invitations to participate in the Tiger Woods apology kabuki. They should immediately be banished to whatever professional doghouse contains Judy Miller and the remains of Bob Novak....

No Wonder Why Tiger Woods Is Embracing Buddhism Again...
"As Buddha says, you've been shot with an arrow once (by the infidelity or the hurtful event), don't stick a second arrow into the same wound (by keep reminding yourself and feeling resentful)..."[SomeBuddhistThing(2nd Question)]...

Tiger Woods: "I Felt I Was Entitled"
It's hard to single out one defining moment in a 13-minute speech, but I think the clubhouse leader might be Tiger Woods saying that he felt he "deserved to enjoy all the temptations" around him. Eww....

Tiger Woods Press Conference: Open Thread
Give your witticisms a workout as Tiger reads from a script pulled from the sex addiction handbook. In case you're not near a television, watch it here....

Michael Jordan To Attend Tiger Woods Press Conference? (UPDATE)
Oh...GET THE F OUT. As if this whole thing already wasn't one big giant sham, according to a report from WEEI, Michael Jordan will be in attendance at Tiger's 11 a.m. press conference....

Last Night's Winner: The Golf Writers Association Of America
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like American golf scribes, who defiantly removed their lips from the tainted buttocks of Tiger Woods and decided to collectively boycott today's "press conference."...

StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...

Douchial Profiling: Cowboys Fan Searched At Philly Airport
It takes a certain kind of person to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs. A terroristic kind of person? Without knowing all the facts, we say: probably....

The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences
No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre....

Tiger Woods Will Apologize, Explain Himself On Friday To Friends And "Pool Of Reporters"
11 a.m. at PGA Tour headquarters. That's when Woods will re-emerge in public for the first time, according to Bloomberg....

Donte' Stallworth Signs With Ravens
But 59-year-old Mario Reyes is still dead. Peter King reports....

Raiders Taking "Football" Literally
Oakland made Sebastian Janikowski the highest-paid kicker, to go along with their punter's record deal. Because when you can't score and can't stop anyone from scoring, might as well throw money at special teams. [Oakland Tribune]...

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...