nf Page 1123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ed Hochuli Curls The Pain Away
Speaking of terrible referees, what's Ed Hochuli been up to this winter—besides sculpting those beautiful 14-inch guns? [ESPN]...

No One Shows Up To Watch Jose Canseco Do His 'I Told You So' Dance About Manny
Pity Jose Canseco....

Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....

Richard Sandomir And Stefan Fatsis Talk Mock Brackets And MILFs
Another three-man Deadcast this week, featuring best-selling author Stefan Fatsis and NYT sports media editor Richard Sandomir....

Why "Madden" Designers Watch More Game Film Than John Madden
Meet the EA Sports designer who puts together the playbooks for Madden football games. He's the reason you need a three-year NFL assistant's gig to figure out the damn game. [Sports Prose]...

Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...

And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...

Are You Tough Enough To Attend A College Softball Game?
Of the many and varied sporting events that take place daily across the nation, the last one at which I'd expect a brawl to break out would probably be a college softball game. Preconception: shattered....

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent And Depraved
Everyone knows the real fun of the Kentucky Derby happens in the stands and infield, not on the track. See the shenanigans you missed out on after the jump....

Sports Feuds Used To Be Much More Macho Than This
Four of the most-loathed things in America (Missouri Tigers, Washington Redskins, sports radio, and Twitter) converge for an epic battle of (t)wits. Susskind and Hawking got nothing on Daniel and Dukes. [NBC Washington]...

Former AFL QB, VP Nominee, HUD Secretary Jack Kemp Passes Away At 73
Jack Kemp, best known for his work with supply-side economics and frequent runners-up Bob Dole and the Buffalo Bills, has lost another battle — this one to cancer....

Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....

The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald]...

Michael Vick Has Always Enjoyed Pitas ... Er, PETA
Michael Vick is ready to fulfill his community service requirementshis dream of defending animal rights in a PETA ad. The guy just really cares about this issue for some sudden unexplained reason!...

An Ill-Informed Betting Guide To The Kentucky Derby
It's that time of year—the five-week period when people who could not care less about horse racing the other 47 weeks of the year suddenly become experts in animal husbandry, gambling and stupid hats....

Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...

If You Don't Want To Be Hassled By Nigerian Prostitutes, Don't Chew Gum
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UCONN. He graduated in 2008 and is now playing professional football - in Portchach, Austria. He's graciously shared some of the things he's experienced so far....

The Legendary Redskins Ticket "Waiting List" That Doesn't Exist
Dan Snyder likes to brag that the waiting list for Redskins season tickets has over 200,000 names on it. Then why is the team begging people who aren't on the list to buy seats?...

The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

Michael Vick Is Almost Free
Vick will be released to home confinement on May 20, before his full sentence ends on July 20. Then he begins three years of probation. I feel safer already. [ESPN]...