nf Page 1205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Our Big Ben Can't Tell Time Or Hold His Liquor, But He Can Throw
In Cincinnati the quarterbacks have been all but perfect. Caron Palmer has gone 14-16 for 114 yards but the Bengals have seen two drives stall out forcing them to settle for a pair of field goals. Conversely Ben Roethlisberger is 10-12 for 136 yards with two satisfying touchdowns. Willie Parker has ...
For Giants Fans, Crazy Is As Crazy Does
Sure the Red Sox have a bit of momentum going, and it looks like they're going to cruise to their second World Series title. That's because Colorado Rockies fans are relatively new at this. They don't understand that, when things aren't going your way, it's never too early to call in a bomb threat....
Hey Kids, It's The Giant Colon!
Seriously, the kids could spend all day playing in the giant colon. And they would, if the state capitol building didn't close at 4. Actually, the display is called "Super Colon and Friends," and is on display in Carson City, Nev., to raise colon cancer awareness. But I just call it fun! (Yes, I ha...
Jeremy Shockey Is America
As we might have mentioned, the New York Giants are playing the Miami Dolphins in London on Sunday. There. You now have a tiny reason to care about that game. Roger Director, author of I Dream In Blue, has a few more than that. He riffs for us here about Jeremy Shockey, London and what it means to s...
Do Not Ask Him To Include Socks With The Transaction
How much would you give up for Rockies World Series tickets at Coors? One man is making the ultimate sacrifice....
Barry Bonds Will Now Accept Your Admiration On A Neatly Typed Index Card
Clearly, Barry Bonds has learned a lot from Karl Rove. The mad scientist behind George W. Bush's rise to power had one sentence scribbled over and over in his campaign playbook; never let your guy have an unscripted moment. And so Barry's big "interview" at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco on ...
Jamboroo, Week 8: Joey Porter's London Itinerary
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks
We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing?...
Channing Crowder Is A Citizen Of The World
Hey, did you hear the Giants and Dolphins are playing in London this week? It's like a regular old boring regular-season game ... but people will be driving there on the other side of the road!...
Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...
The Machine Rebellion Begins, Wearing No. 99
Seriously, that thing's gonna kill somebody. Which it becomes self-aware, man, we're all doomed....
Jason Taylor Is Attacking London
If you happen to be reading this from London, hey there! Put another shrimp on the barbie! Konichiwa! Bellisimo! No me importa un pimiento! Elcome-way oo-tay ee-thay ational-Nay ootball-Fay eague-Lay!...
Shuler Still Playing Bad Football In DC
Stop Shuler, the site that unsuccessfully attempted to keep now-Congressman Heath Shuler from returning to Washington, D.C., would probably have a field day with this: Shuler was the quarterback for the Congressional team in a game against the Capitol Police ... and he got shut out....
Raiders Fans Vs. Gangs: Whoever Wins, We All Lose
We're going to Oakland to visit our sister for Thanksgiving this year, and we had no intention of walking around in Raiders garb. Now we're really not gonna do it....
Chargers Flee Fire For Dry Heat
If anyone out there is being affected by the fires in Southern California — we're sure we have tons of Malibu readers, of course — we hope you're finding, you know, some cool land. And we hope you're better off than the Chargers, who might have to play this Sunday's game in the Buzzsaw's reject stad...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...
Larry King Is Busting Out All Over
As you might have heard or remembered, here's the shot of Larry King from "Football Night In America" the other night. It's like his brain exploded but remained inside his skull....
Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....
The Colts Haven't Lost Since December, And Still No One Notices
You know, Jacksonville isn't a bad team; you could make a strong argument that they're the fourth best team in the AFC. And Indianapolis is the quiet undefeated defending Super Bowl champion team nobody is talking about. And they hammered the Jags last night....