nf Page 1286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Steroid Family Feud
We know it's NFL Kickoff Night, and we know it's kind of a bummer to finish our first day with a post about baseball, but we just find it tough to resist a couple of steroids guys feuding. (We always imagine them having counterintuitive arguments about who has smaller testicles.)...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...
NFL Sighs, Pretends It Doesn't Want To Strangle Kanye West
By now, you've heard all about rapper Kanye West's impromptu blasting of President Bush in the middle of a telethon. Whatever your thoughts on West's actions, it certainly puts the NFL in an interesting situation; West is scheduled to perform at the NFL Kickoff Ceremonies tonight. (Oh, the NFL sea...
Terrell Owens' Suspicious Charity
Now, far be it from us to accuse any athlete of being anything less than 100 percent magnanimous in all of his charitable endeavors ... but we couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Eagles flapjaw wide receiver Terrell Owens' newest attempt to confuse human beings into mistaking him for a nice fell...
How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends?
We were playing around on BarryBonds.com again today — honestly, it's like Christmas every day; we don't care if he plays again or not, as long as he keeps his site updated — and, on a page devoted to Barry's 40th birthday party, we found the above picture....
Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...
The Monstrosity of Leaving The Big Easy
Currently, the New Orleans Saints — we have to keep reminding ourselves that New Orleans had a football team, and that they still exist right now — are denying CNN's reports that the Superdome will have to be torn down, but whether CNN is right or not, the team still needs someplace to play right ...
A Full Report on Marvin Jones' Weekend of Sex
Some pure gold from NFL Wives Club Yahoo Group today: A discussion of former Jets linebacker Marvin Jones, pictured above with his family. Apparently, someone had a weekend fling with the very married Jones and wrote into the group asking for info. The poster "Gata Negro," after reading a bio abou...
Suddenly Charitable Bonds Could Return Tonight
We were all set to make fun of Barry Bonds today. ESPN's Pedro Gomez, who has pretty much been sitting outside Bonds' house and sifting through his garbage for months now, finally got the scoop he was waiting for by reporting that Bonds could return from the DL today. We were going to mock Bonds' ...
Jerry Rice Deep-Tissues His Way Into the Sunset
We would like to say "happy trails" to future Hall of Fame receiver Jerry Rice, who retired yesterday after realizing the Broncos actually expected him to run routes, catch passes and occassionally block this season. We salute Rice on his long career, particularly the work he did while hiding in a...
NFL To New Orleans: Let Them Eat Cake
We live in New York City, which inexplicably does not carry the NFL Network — write your Congressmen! — so we missed a pretty huge faux pas from the league. Fortunately, those intrepid souls at Football Outsiders watched it for us....
Barry Bonds: At The Movies!
In case you've forgotten, we here at Deadspin have made a solemn vow to get our Barry Bonds news exclusively from BarryBonds.com, just the way Barry would like it. (Because we're true fans. And we hate the white media. And we really want us to give us a "Shout Out" sometime.)...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....
We're Not Sure Whom We're Supposed To Hate
David Pinto at brings up something we were kind of curious about: If admitted steroid abuser Jason Giambi hits a home run off suspended steroid abuser Ryan Franklin (which he did last evening), uh ... whom are we supposed to get mad at? Would Nationals manager Frank Robinson say it just didn't ha...
NFL Network Rids Itself Of Stoners, Past, Present and Future
Former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith was always one of our favorite players when he was in the league. He was unusually intelligent — particularly for someone who went to Ohio State — retired at the top of his game and was renowned for his charitable foundations, most notably The Rob...
The Metrodome Gestapo
People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered thi...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Telling Your Friends Not To Tell You What You Missed On "Six Feet Under" ... · 49ers Lineman Dies. Still confusion about cause. Sean Penn investigating. · Cards' Rolen To Miss Rest Of Season. Manager Tony LaRussa consoles himself by playing with puppies. · Eli Manning's Elbow "...
Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... · Who's got spirit? Brett Tomko! He's got spirit! How 'bout you?! · Make money off the misery of the Kansas City Royals. · Some idiot handicaps Cindy Sheehan....
Groupie Fight!
Big fun on the NFL Wives Yahoo Group this morning. Apparently, a woman who's dating an NFL player stumbled across the site and was shocked (shocked!) to see it was populated by groupies....