nf Page 389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: The Vikings Reached Hell In 10 Minutes
It’s important to point out early on in this series that a team does not have to actually be ass in order to be the Ass Team Of The Week. A team that is very good in aggregate can still plunge to depths of buttness on any given day, as demonstrated by the Minnesota Vikings. They came into this seaso...
Ryan Fitzpatrick's Gotta Start Next Week, Right?
The second quarter was FitzTragic, as the Buccaneers QB—as of yesterday, and that’s all that’s certain—threw three interceptions on three consecutive passes. But that was an aberration, one quarter in three games. On the other hand, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s near-comeback in a 30-27 loss to the Steelers ge...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...
Jimmy Garoppolo Leaves Game With Reported "Serious Knee Injury"<em></em>
While trying to lead a 49ers comeback against the Chiefs, San Francisco QB Jimmy Garoppolo chose to absorb a big hit from Steven Nelson at the end of a scramble, rather than just run out of bounds. It was a poor choice, and whether it was anything about the hit itself or simply the awkward plant by ...
Ryan Fraser Is The Best Little Fella In The Premier League
Bournemouth winger Ryan Fraser is extremely cool. He’s super fast, loves running at defenders, can muscle his way into and around the penalty area almost at will, and when he gets there, he’s pretty good at slipping the ball to a teammate or smashing it at the goal himself. These traits are common a...
The NFL’s Uniform Code Needs To Be Destroyed<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Deadcast Went To Chicago, Drank Malört, And Yelled About The Bears
You hear it sometimes: you had to be there. Sometimes this is true, for instance with extreme weather events or certain live music performances. And in the case of this week’s Live Deadcast, which Megan, Drew, and I recorded in front of a roiling crowd of rowdies in Rex Grossman jerseys on Monday ni...
Ex-Bills WR: There’s Nothing To Do In Buffalo But Fuck
Jordan Matthews signed with the Eagles today. The receiver, who was with Philadelphia for the first three seasons of his NFL career, was signed to boost the team’s depleted receiving corps. Matthews spent last season with the Bills—the Eagles had traded him and a draft pick for cornerback Ronald Dar...
Uber Driver Sues Jameis Winston Over Sexual Assault
Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston is currently serving out the end of a three-game suspension set by the NFL for groping an Uber driver. The league’s investigation over the offseason concluded that Winston had “violated the Personal Conduct Policy by touching the driver in an inappropr...
Michael Dickson Is As Cool As A Punter Can Be
The Seahawks tore it down this offseason, and now they’re 0-2, with a bad offensive line and a goddamn Schottenheimer for an offensive coordinator. But they have Michael Dickson as their punter, and that’s more fun than it may seem—and not just because Dickson knows how to drop kick....
Steelers Somehow Get More Dramatic After Antonio Brown Doesn't Show Up To Work<em></em>
In addition to being winless and grouchy, Antonio Brown is absent. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports today that the Steelers receiver was nowhere to be found at the team’s facilities Monday. No wonder he had no media availability:...
Letter From NFL Hall Of Famers Demands Health Insurance, But Only For Themselves
In a letter sent Tuesday to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith, and Pro Football Hall of Fame president C. David Baker, players who make up the Hall of Fame board are demanding health insurance and salaries for former NFL players now in the Hal...
Ass Team Of The Week: Everything Is Wrong With The Arizona Cardinals
There are often discrete reasons that go a long way toward explaining a bad team’s badness. Look to the New York Giants, a team with a decent defense, perhaps the best receiver in the league, and a superhuman rookie running back that is nonetheless very bad because of one simple reason: they can’t b...
Sunday Was Hell Day For Kickers
“Professional football placekicker” has to be a tough job. Either you make all your kicks and people think you’ve done what’s expected of you, or you miss one (or two! Or three or four!) and you get trashed and maybe fired....
Frank Gore Has Been So Good For So Long
Frank Gore was not supposed to be in the NFL for over a decade. He was not supposed to recover from tearing both of his ACLs and then both of his labrums to build a no-doubt Hall of Fame career, and yet here he is, still a big part of an offense at age 35, still running, and still setting records. W...
Antonio Brown Is Winless And Grouchy
The Steelers don’t need Le’Veon Bell around to continue with the infighting and grumpiness; they’ve got that covered. The day after Pittsburgh was beaten 42-37 at home by Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, a former Steelers flack said that Antonio Brown’s success was solely attributed to Ben Roethlisbe...
The Skins Didn't Sell Out Their Home Opener Because They Stink
Fresh off admitting that their 200,000-person season ticket waiting list never actually existed, Washington hosted the Indianapolis Colts in their home opener yesterday. The team’s stated 50-year home sellout streak has long been bunk, but if there was ever a time to see a big crowd at a Skins game,...
Tavon Austin Embarrasses Giants Secondary For First Touchdown In Two Years
It didn’t take long for Tavon Austin and the Cowboys to show their true colors and disrespect the red, white and blue on national television, again. Dak “MAGA Seneca Wallace” Prescott got Dallas on the board early with a deep bomb to Austin, who’d burst right past New York’s defense in an absolute b...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Stealing Jameis Winston's Job
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers improved to 2-0 on this young season by beating the defending champion Philadelphia Eagles 27-21 this afternoon. They won the game thanks in large part to backup quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will be elevated to the Bucs’ Plan A if he keeps playing like this....
Jaguars WR Keelan Cole Snags An Absurd One-Handed Catch Against The Patriots
The Odell Beckham Jr. catch remains at the top, since it resulted in a touchdown, but this one-handed snag by Jaguars receiver Keelan Cole from today’s game against the Patriots is outrageous....