nf Page 811 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Barry Zito's Endless Summer In San Francisco Is Mercifully Over
One of the worst MLB contracts in history has concluded after seven grueling seasons. Barry Zito made his last start as a Giant on Wednesday and will walk away from San Francisco after seven years, having pocketed $126 million, the last $7 million of which comes in form of a buyout. There are lots ...

What The Hell Is This Eagles-Broncos Preview Video?
The Philadelphia Eagles tweeted this preview of tonight's game against the Broncos a few days ago. It's goddamned weird....

Which TV Market's Getting Screwed Today? Your Week 4 NFL Viewing Maps
A guide to the best and worst of the NFL slate (and to which fans are stuck with the most of worst). Maps via 506sports.com....

Just Give The Browns This One; It's All They Have
Are the Browns bringing back Brownie The Elf (or just Brownie, if you want to get technical and point out the differences between elves and hobgoblins or whatever)? Maybe! Is this an enticement to a perpetually morose fanbase that thinks the front office has given up on the team and has therefore re...

Jaguars Twitter Account Disputes Report That Team Is In Shambles
On Friday, ESPN reported that the Jacksonville receiving corps was so decimated by injuries, Justin Blackmonlessness and just being the Jaguars, that the team was forced to use ball boys and equipment assistants as scout-team receivers. Fox picked up on the report and tweeted out a link to a story o...

Jaguars Offer To Get You Drunk In Exchange For Attending Jaguars Game
In an attempt to sell tickets without using the Tebow of last resort, the Jaguars offered a unique promotion for a three-hour window yesterday morning: buy tickets, get beer. ...

Waiting For Ditka
Rich Cohen's new book Monsters: The 1985 Chicago Bears and the Wild Heart of Football drops next month and it's a ton of fun (more on Rich and the book in the weeks to come). Meanwhile, here's a story on Mike Ditka he wrote for the Atlantic a few years ago:...

Hey, Everyone, Check Out Pete Prisco's Tim Tebow Impression
Here's Pete Prisco, odious football columnist and wearer of cargo jorts weird shorts, getting into a little tête-à-tête with some Jaguars fans at this month's "Sign Tim Tebow" rally. Prisco, who is staunchly anti-Tebow, can be seen giving his impression of Tebow's style of play. Nice moves, Pete....

Larry Ellison Wags His Cock At San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO—Larry's cock is 13 stories high, which is odd because most buildings don't have 13 stories because it's bad luck, but Larry doesn't have to worry about bad luck, because he is the fifth-richest man in the world. He's so rich and so weird that people write more about how rich and weird...

Brian Wilson Yells At Giants President About His World Series Ring
As the Giants lined up for handshakes following last night's win over Los Angeles, former SF-closer-turned-Dodger Brian Wilson angrily confronted Giants president and CEO Larry Baer along the third-base line. Wilson was apparently pissed that the Giants hadn't get given him his 2012 World Series rin...

Suspect Arrested in Murder Of Dodgers Fan
More details have emerged about the murder of a Dodgers fan following Wednesday's Dodgers-Giants game in San Francisco, and a 21-year-old has been arrested and booked, with more subjects being sought....

Which NFL Pundit Has The Worst Picks Through Week 3?
Originally published on Pundit Tracker....

It's Matt Cassel Time For The Vikings
The fact that Matt Cassel will start for Minnesota on Sunday against the Steelers in London actually does nothing to settle the Vikings' unsettled QB situation. Sure, Christian Ponder's been terrible, tossing five INTs to two touchdowns and sitting in the third tertile of nearly every passing stat, ...

Sam Bradford Doesn't Need This: Your Rams-49ers GIF Roundup
San Francisco 35, St. Louis 11: The 49ers' 1-2 start to this season was a bit of a shock, considering their baffling turd of a home game facing the Colts, but San Francisco looked much better on short rest against the Rams, cruising despite Patrick Willis and Nnamdi Asomugha sitting out. And now th...


Former Chargers Safety Commits Suicide
Paul Oliver, a former NFL safety who played the majority of his career with the San Diego Chargers, killed himself at the age of 29....

Carlos Ortiz's Flip-Flopping Might Make It Harder To Convict Aaron Hernandez
The testimonies of Carlos Ortiz and Ernest Wallace are crucial for the prosecution if it wants an airtight argument that Aaron Hernandez shot and killed Odin Lloyd. So far, Ortiz and Wallace stood by accounts that ended Hernandez pulling the trigger, but now, Ortiz is altering a big detail in his s...


