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NFL Twitter Hacked, Announces Roger Goodell's Death [Update]

Some gremlin got access to the NFL’s Twitter account today and announced the death of commissioner Roger Goodell. NFL PR flack Brian McCarthy quickly corrected the record:...

Jared Goff Buddies Up With Yasiel Puig, Betrays The Sanctity Of His Takes

When Rams rookie quarterback Jared Goff was just 17, he had some strong takes and the stones to express them publicly:...

Roger Goodell Meets A Fan

We consider ourselves collectors of embarrassing pictures of Roger Goodell, because undeservedly powerful men getting caught with dumb looks on their faces brings a specific kind of joy. ...

Report: Aqib Talib Told Family He Accidentally Shot Himself

Aqib Talib was taken to a Dallas hospital with a gunshot wound early Sunday morning, and initial reports had him as one of three victims at a nightclub shooting. However, Talib has maintained that he was at a park when he got shot in the thigh and was too drunk to know who shot him, but Dallas PD ar...

Great Pics, Wade!

The Super Bowl-winning Denver Broncos made their visit to the White House today, and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips took pictures to document the trip. His photography skills are equivalent to those of your dad, so none of the shots are properly framed, and the captions are as brief as possible...

Report: Aqib Talib Shot At Dallas Nightclub [UPDATE]

Broncos cornerback Aqib Talib has been released from a Dallas hospital after being shot during a nightclub altercation Saturday night, according to the Dallas Morning News....

Steelers Linebacker Uses Dead Gorilla To Burn Cincinnati

Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Vince Williams has no love lost for Harambe, the gorilla killed at the Cincinnati Zoo last weekend after a child got into his enclosure. After all, Harambe lived in the same city that hosts the Steelers’ divisional rival Bengals....

Thousands Of NFL Players' Medical Records Stolen From Skins Trainer

In late April, the NFL recently informed its players, a Skins athletic trainer’s car was broken into. The thief took a backpack, and inside that backpack was a cache of electronic and paper medical records for thousands of players, including NFL Combine attendees from the last 13 years. That would e...

Report: Chris Berman Will Retire From ESPN At The End Of The NFL Season (UPDATE)

Chris Berman has been with ESPN for nearly 40 years, but he’ll retire at the conclusion of the 2016 NFL season, per a report from The Big Lead....

Bills GM Doug Whaley Backtracks From Idea That Humans Shouldn't Play Football

Bills general manager Doug Whaley said today that he used a “poor choice of words” when he expressed his belief on a radio interview that “humans aren’t supposed to play” football, because it’s a bad look for a guy whose job it is to convince men to play football for his team....

NFL Breaks Up Pete Morelli's Entire Officiating Crew After Bizarrely Terrible Season

There really is no way to describe Pete Morelli’s 2015 season other than as a nightmare. Blown calls—lots of them, and in very visible situations—led to the Morelli crew unsurprisingly being left out of the postseason, and now the league has come down with its strongest censure short of termination:...

Reporters Work Around Buffalo Bills' Dumb Media Policy

The Buffalo Bills have released their policy for media covering practices. Reporters are welcome to watch, as long as they don’t tweet any plays, players, or bad things that happen....

The NFL's New Scientists Sound Just As Corrupt As The Old Ones

This time was supposed to be different, or so the NFL said. ...

The Most Damning Excerpts From The Congressional Report On The NFL's Improper Meddling With Concussion Research

Democratic members of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce just released the full 91-page report detailing the findings of their investigation into the NFL’s attempts to improperly influence the direction of the National Institute of Health’s concussion research. We’ve embedded the whole repor...

ESPN: Congressional Investigators Find NFL Tried To Use Federal Agency As Propaganda Arm

Six months ago, Outside the Lines reported that the NFL pulled $16 million of funding from a National Institutes of Health study that was meant to further explore football’s relationship to CTE because it didn’t like the neurologist who’d been selected to lead the study. The NFL has continually deni...

Tom Brady Will Appeal Ballghazi Suspension, Again

In the year 2184, when Tom Brady’s head is thawed from cryostasis to testify against Robo-Goodell in Moon Court, your descendants may wonder how the longest-running legal battle in the history of sports ever got started. (Their neural visit to the electro-sapio-repository will tell them it was about...

Venmo Is Not Turning Your Friends Into Monsters, It's Just Unmasking Them

We’ve reached a cynical new perspective on the mobile payment app Venmo: It opens up new forms of passive aggression. It emboldens your craven, confrontation-fearing friends to invoice you for goods, this argument goes, goods that you might once have assumed had been given out of generosity....

Rex And Rob Ryan Are Staying Hydrated At The Mall

Alternate Titles For Tim Tebow's Upcoming Book

Failed NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has gone and done what all famous white people in their 20s seem to be doing these days: he’s written a book about himself (this is actually Tebow’s second such book). The title of this book is SHAKEN: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life’s Storms, and...

Does Kirk Cousins Like Creed?

Of course Kirk Cousins likes Creed:...