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Ray Lewis Lined Up One Last Time In Baltimore And Drooled All Over Himself: Ravens-Colts In Four GIFs
Baltimore 24, Indianapolis 9: Ray Lewis was all over the broadcast, which is to be expected. It was his last game at M&T Bank Stadium and someone, somewhere decided that we all love Ray Lewis. He's clearly a divisive figure, however, and nothing typifies that more so than the middle linebacker of h...

"When Marrone Interviewed, He Must Have Been Extremely Impressive": Six Writers Talking Themselves Into New Bills Coach Doug Marrone
Chan Gailey was pretty much a washout from the start for the Bills, and fans who withstood his 16-32 record there are understandably happy to have him gone. Still—who's the new guy? Doug Marrone is: Syracuse's former coach, a one-time offensive coordinator under Sean Peyton, and...that's kind of it....

Hammer-Wielding Yinzer Tries To Break Into Steelers Locker Room
A man wearing (only?) a Pittsburgh Pirates hat and gray sweatpants attempted to break into the Steelers locker room at Heinz Field Saturday with a hammer. Security at the stadium noted that he busted a lock at Gate B to gain entry to the stadium and then took his own personal tour of the playing fi...

Mike Shanahan Lied When He Said That A Doctor Cleared Robert Griffin III To Play After He Sprained His Knee In Week 14
During Washington's 31-28 victory over the the Ravens five weeks ago, Haloti Ngata brought down Robert Griffin III during the fourth quarter, leaving Griffin limping. Griffin sat out one play, then returned for four more, going 2/3 and advancing Washington to the Baltimore 16 before intentionally gr...
![Chip Kelly To The Browns Was A Sure Thing, Until Kelly Spent Nine Hours Eating Dinner With The Eagles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18anwgj1kzoj9jpg.jpg)
Chip Kelly To The Browns Was A Sure Thing, Until Kelly Spent Nine Hours Eating Dinner With The Eagles [UPDATE]
On Friday, NFL.com said Chip Kelly to the Browns was in the works, and that the two sides were just hammering out the details. Browns fans were happy. The brief Pat Shurmur era wasn't the tonic they had hoped for, and Chip Kelly is one of the biggest names on the coaching market. Unfortunately, big ...

The Joe Webb Experiment Did Not Work: Vikings-Packers, In Two GIFs
Green Bay 24, Minnesota 10: You know how the most important part of the Hippocratic Oath is primum non nocere, or "do no harm"? Probably you do, because they kept showing that promo for that show about the schizophrenic doctor called Do No Harm? Joe Webb subbed in for an injured Christian Ponder to...

Who Wants To Sex J.J. Watt? Bengals-Texans, In Three Gifs
So, 23 years now, and a guaranteed extra 365 days (at least) on that 8,400 day playoff winless streak for the Bengals. Yikes! They sure do suck. Matt Schaub played just OK but still completed 29/38 passes, Arian Foster ran for 140 yards, and J.J. Watt continued to be a sort of revolutionarily good ...

Adrian Peterson Says He Will Run For 2,500 Yards In 2013, So Naturally He Will
We'd scoff if anyone other than Adrian Peterson were to say, as Adrian Peterson did this week, that he doesn't just want to break the single-season rushing record, he wants to obliterate it. Actually, the way he put it to Marshall Faulk on the NFL Network was:...

<em>Newsday</em>, Like Twitter Users, Simply Cannot Tell Brian Kelly And Chip Kelly Apart
Two college football coaches, both named Kelly. Chip has just completed a marvelous season marred only by the fact that his Oregon Ducks did not get to compete for a national championship and stand to finish third or perhaps second in the final polls. Brian has one of the two teams playing for the n...

Your NFL Wildcard Open Thread
Cincinnati at Houston (NBC), 4:30 p.m.: The Texans may have the superior record but they backed into the playoffs, losing three of their last four, while the Bengals haven't lost a game by more than one point since Week 9. Plus, it'd be more fun if they won, so root for them....

The Bengals Really Could Break Their 8,400-Day Playoff Winless Streak Today
For a summer in college I interned for the sports department of the Columbus Dispatch, which sent me for a few days to cover Cincinnati Bengals training camp. The 1990s had just come to a close—a dismal era even by the Bengals' standards—and the beat writers killed time during practice by stumping o...

Steelers Safety Ryan Clark Made A Good Point About Hypocritical Steelers Fans
If there's one thing we learned while sifting through the assorted vitriolic, typo-ridden responses to the Why Your Team Sucks series, it's that many fans have no perspective when it comes to their favorite teams and players. Morals go out the window ("He basically paid his debt to society!"), logic...

Chip Kelly Is Reportedly The Next Head Coach Of The Cleveland Browns
We mentioned Thursday night that we're big fans of Chip Kelly and the team he built at Oregon in his four years as head coach. We also mentioned that the Fiesta Bowl—which Oregon won, 35-17, over Kansas State—would probably be Kelly's Ducks' last hurrah....

A Season Of Miracles In Washington: The Redskins Reappear, And The Owner Vanishes
Dan Snyder didn't even show up to his team's annual turkey giveaway before Thanksgiving. Somebody clearly told Snyder, the Redskins' unbeloved owner, that he couldn't win until his team won. And dang if he didn't listen. And dang if the team didn't win....

And Now, Donté Stallworth Blowing The Lid Off An H1N1 Vaccine Conspiracy
Donté Stallworth hasn't seen much playing time with the Patriots this year. He's only played in one game, and his 63-yard touchdown reception against the Texans marks the only time he's gotten his hands on the ball. This doesn't mean that Stallworth hasn't been busy, though. He spends a lot of time...

Mercifully, Tony Siragusa Will Not Appear On Your Televisions This Playoff Season
Tony Siragusa's book entertained us, even though he lied in the course of promoting it. But he consistently fails to entertain us on NFL telecasts. He also consistently fails to inform us, about football or, for that matter, anything else. This sweater was the high point of his 2012. Kenny Albert an...

Asante Samuel's Mother Died, And The <em>Atlanta Journal-Constitution</em> Used An Inappropriate Photo
Asante Samuel joined the Falcons, in part, so he could be nearer to his ailing mother. (Here's a good piece on the bond between the two.) Christine Samuel died on Tuesday, and with the Falcons on a bye, Asante has been away from the team all week....

The NFL In Mexico Is The NFL Reduced To Its Essence
MEXICO CITY—Freedom Sports & Fun Bar is located in a neighborhood here called Del Valle, where many of the streets are named after American cities. Boston, Detroit, and Sacramento run east and west just outside the bar. But inside, the only city with any cachet is Pittsburgh, especially on Sundays i...

Bills Guard Andy Levitre Tweeted Out A Photo With Some Inadvertent Side Boob (NSFW-ish)
Andy Levitre has been a mainstay on the Buffalo Bills offensive line since being drafted in 2009. Since the Bills suck, however, it's unlikely that many people outside of Buffalo have any idea who he is. After tweeting out the photo you see above sometime last night, though, Levitre will at least b...

Rex Ryan Has A Tattoo Of His Wife Wearing A Mark Sanchez Jersey
As the media waits patiently at Florham Park for comment on one of the all-time worst and weirdest seasons ever, Rex Ryan is just living it up in the Bahamas. Sun, sand, surf, just him and his wife. And no lousy reporters. This is paradise. ...