night Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Emmitt Smith To Get Unexpected Competition On 'Dancing With The Stars'
Those suffering from persistent night terrors — frightening disorders of the sleep from the darkest corners of the psyche — should not watch the above video. We were deeply disturbed by it, and are now unable to eat, or dress ourselves to go out. We blame The Realests, which today links to an AOL Mi...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while awaiting the YouTube of last night's Daily Show with Carl Monday ... • College football: Auburn, Kenny Irons flatten the Gamecocks. • MLB: Mets bench Pedro through Christmas. • Golf: Tiger leads AmEx, but is it still a winning streak? Somebody help us out here ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another fun-filled day of Squirrel Awareness Week activities ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Carlos Hernandez vs. Kevin Kelley, at San Antonio. This should be ... wait a minute. Versus? Wha? [Versus] • College football: Brigham Young at TCU [Versus], Auburn at South Carolina. Keep an...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while gently, delicately rocking ... • MLB: Pedro Martinez gets final tuneup before playoffs and ... uh oh, ... Braves beat Mets 13-1. • Tennis: Venus is back! Let us rejoice. • Soccer: Didier Drogba, hat trick, Chelsea over Levski Sofia 3-1 ... ring a bell?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you recall that mini-tornado that hit Busch Stadium a while back, which turned out to be an ill wind ineed ... • MLB: Philadelphia at Washington. Eye of the Tiger? Anyone? [ESPN] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Werder Bremen at Barcelona, at Bremen, Germany. So, is this a current m...
Aei! The Olympic Mascots Are Back! Run For Your Lives!
Like childhood night terrors or the career of George Michael, we thought that we were done with The Five Friendlies for good; or at least until the 2008 Olympics. But no dice. China trotted out their satanic mascot goblins once again on Sunday while announcing the China Bowl, an NFL exhibition set...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while apologizing for not sneaking in some Byron Nelson condolences yesterday ... • NFL: Oh, so it's Tim Lewis who has been chosen to fall on the sword for the Giants. We were wondering. • MLB: So it seems those Reds aren't quite done yet ... • NHL: And another one's gone and another...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while driving 128 through Shelbyville toward Pana ... • College football: Southern Mississippi at Central Florida. Quick, name the mascots. Now do it again after five beers. [ESPN2] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Dynamo Kiev at Real Madrid, at Madrid, Spain. He passes it to the forwa...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering whether or not magic numbers ever actually move ... • MLB: White Sox reign of terror has officially ended. • NFL: It's a blue blue morning, of a blue blue day/All your bad dreams drift away. Saints 23, Falcons 3 in the return of pro football to the Superdome. • Tennis...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your imaginary friends gather for your intervention ... • MNF: Atlanta at New Orleans. Man, it seems like forever since the Saints have played a home game ... oh. [ESPN] • MLB: Athletics at Mariners. Oakland could clinch today. Do their fans know? [KICU] • MLB: Royals at Twins. It's...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while participating in The Great Gorilla Run ... • NFL: Jeremy Shockey says that Giants were (gasp!) outcoached in 42-30 loss to Seahawks. • MLB: Astros 7, Cardinals 3. If you need us, we'll be in the fetal position until Oct. 3rd. • Golf: Ryder Cup ... Gambling is illegal at Bushwoo...
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: St. Louis Cardinals @ Houston Astros. This should be a solid three hours of Clemens worship. 8:00, ESPN. • Movie. The Longest Yard. Ever since the remake came out... I just can't enjoy any movie that doesn't star Nelly. 8:00, ESPN Classic. • NFL: Denver Broncos @ New England Patriots. At half...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Football: Notre Dame @ Michigan State. This game's so big, they didn't even know what network to put it on. 8:00, ABC. Or ESPN2. • College Football: Kentucky @ Florida. Since when does Kentucky get the ESPN primetime game? They know this isn't basketball, right? 7:45, ESPN. • MLS: Red Bull...
About Last Night...
• MLB: Pirates 2, Padres 6. It should be illegal, actually against the law, for Joe freaking Randa to break up a no-hitter. Just a travesty. • College Football: Northwestern 21, Nevada 31. The Big Ten's reputation continues to grow. • MLB: San Francisco 12, Milwaukee 13. Six RBIs for Barry Bonds. He...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that playing against Teen Wolf is more dangerous than it used to be ... • College football: Northwestern at Nevada. After the game, please enjoy our legal brothels! [ESPN2] • MLB: St. Louis at Houston. Adam Wainwright, the new Bobby Jenks. Sure. [ESPN] • Prep football: O...
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while buying gaydar online... • MLB: Doh! Lance Berkman's two homers (off Chris Carpenter) lead Astros over Cardinals, 6-5. • Basketball: ? ? Stop us if this sounds familiar ... U.S. team fails in bid for gold medal at women's World Basketball Championships, losing 75-68 to Russia. •...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you snack on the last of the tainted spinach ... • Basketball: Women's world championship, semifinals, USA vs. Russia, at Sao Paolo, Brazil. Do you believe in miracles? (We're just asking in general). [NBATV] [FSN] • College football: Virginia at Georgia Tech. We had a Cavalier atti...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while applying all kinds of things directly to the forehead... • MLB: Geoff Jenkins? What the deuce? ... • NHL: Now Evgeni Malkin is down! We suggest going straight to the regular season while there's still enough players. • Soccer: Argentinian striker scores on Brazilian goalkeeper ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while listening to this over and over and over ... • Basketball: Women's world championships, quarterfinal, USA vs. Lithuania, at Sao Paolo, Brazil. Are their cheerleaders at a women's basketball game? Are they men? [NBATV] [FSN] • MLB: Detroit at Chicago White Sox. The Tigers fall out...