night Page 340 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
You entered Harrah's Reno at noon and security deposited you outside on the lawn sometime around 3 a.m. Here's what you missed ... • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles to pry first place from Boston's withered, dead hands. • MLB: Bonds homers again in frenzied race against the arrival of that congressional s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Domino's names a new pizza in your honor ... • Bowling Green at Boise State. Broncos' 25-game home winning streak in serious peril, as is your marriage if you plan on watching football from Wednesday through Sunday. [ESPN 2] • MLB: Texas at LA Angels: Los Angeles trying to stay atop...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a giant peanut out of thousands of regular peanuts ... • Monarchs win WNBA title! Whoa, calm down people of Sacramento! (Sound of crickets). • MLB: Ladies and gentlemen, your division-leading San Diego Padres. • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles, remain a half-game back in que...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as all your friends are our rocking, and, sadly, you realize that you are not... • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. "Aaron Small, Big Stein is counting on you. Costanza! Where's my calzone?" [YES Network] • MLB: Red Sox at Devil Rays. Boston a half-game ahead of Yankees — time for Schilling to...
About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Michael Moore sneaks in the back door and raids your fridge ... • MLB: A's at Red Sox. If you notice the Yankees getting larger, that's because they're only 1 1/2 games back. [ESPN] • When golf and women collide: LPGA John Q Hammons Hotel Classic. [The Golf Channel] • Contributing t...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while prying Tom Brady's clammy mitts off of your girlfriend ... • Small Ball: Aaron Small goes to 8-0 as Yankees creep to with 1 1/2 of Red Sox. • Going Frog Wild: TCU snaps Utah's 18-game football win streak. • Cardinals clinch playoffs, prepare to sit at top of dugout railing and ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as, somewhere out there, Russell Crowe is beating up a guy ... • College FB: Utah at TCU. Yeah, we're wearing a Horned Frogs beer helmet. What of it? • WNBA Finals: Sacramento at Connecticut. Quick, what are the two team nicknames? Oh, time's up. • MLB: Marlins at Astros. Andy Pettitte...
Blogdome: Ripping Favre
• So, hey, now that we think about it ... Brett Favre was kind of a dick to Javon Walker. [Sports Frog] • Hot new hockey site launching later today, by tapped-in anonymous blogger. Hey, it's a growth industry; hockey can't get any less popular. [HockeyBuzz] • Ryan Howard is the Dontrelle Willis of h...
About Last Night ...
You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ... • MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this. • MLB: That big f...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your children file for emancipation ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Yanks try to win a series, finally, over last-place Tampa Bay. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs vs. Connecticut Sun. Admit it, you're pumped. • MLB: Brewers at Diamondbacks. Milwaukee (72-72, NL Central) 20 game...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to watch a movie about penguins waiting in line ... • MLB: Bonds singles, walks twice as Giants come within five of Padres, so naturally he takes today off. • MLB: Yankees foolishly use up the rest of their September offense in 20-hit, 17-3 splurge. • Champions ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as aggressive Jehovah's Witnesses surround the house and lob in The Watchtower ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Tampa Bay only 24 1/2 games out, and Yanks might as well be. • MLS: D.C. United at Dallas. Because domestic soccer is your life (sad, really). • MLB: Pirates at Cardinals. C...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while conjuring that elaborate voodoo curse on the Saints' next opponent ... • NFL: Falcons' Vick, Eagles' Owens combine to inspire all kinds of feather-related headlines in Falcons' 14-10 win. • MLB: Bonds returns to take Giants' minds off of missing the playoffs. • MLB: Willis wins...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your hairline recedes considerably faster than the New Orleans floodwater ... • MLB: Padres at Giants. Barry throws down his crutches, returns to lineup. • Pickup basketball: NBA players' Hurricane Relief Game. • MNF: Eagles at Falcons. That lovable Terrell Owens plucks at your hear...
ESPN Ombudsman: You Kids Knock It Off!
Resident nerdy professor ESPN ombudsman George Solomon filed his newest impotent you-darned-kids column on Saturday, and, as usual, we imagine ESPN brass reading it, shaking their heada, chuckling, then tossing another few more Indonesian children on the fire. (It's gonna get cold in Bristol soon;...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while discovering the structure of the DNA molecule ... • NFL: Colts 24, Ravens 7. Once again, loser has to remain in Baltimore. • NFL: 49ers beat Rams, plan world domination and conquest of space. • MLB: Big Unit (that's Randy Johnson, sorry, those of you visiting us on a break from...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...