nit Page 217 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Striker For You! Another For You!: Your Transfer Deadline Day Roundup
Another crazy transfer deadline has came and went, and after a couple tense hours of waiting, it appears most of the biggest moves, like Radamel Falcao to Manchester United, were squeezed under before the curtain fell. Here's a recap of the biggest moves completed yesterday:...
Slightly Creepy Bart Simpson Joins Russian Soccer Club
In some kind of convoluted branding exercise, Russian soccer club Zenit St. Petersburg introduced a slightly off Bart Simpson as its new player today. Synergy!...
Penn State And UCF Start Us Off With A Thriller
It's not easy to send a red-faced fellow named O'Leary home from Ireland unhappy. A last-second Penn State field goal did the trick this morning, though....
MK Dons Score Gorgeous Goal While Bossing Manchester United
Milton Keynes Dons of League One—that's the league below the league below the Premier League—put a goddamn hurting on Manchester United in a League Cup match today, beating them 4-0 to the delight of nearly everyone in the world. Here is the third and prettiest goal of the match, featuring some deft...
Richie Incognito Cleared To Return To NFL
Emerging from disciplinary purgatory after his role in the Dolphins' bullying scandal, Richie Incognito's path to return to the NFL is now wide open. And it appears he's going to catch on with a team soon, according to Adam Schefter: ...
Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....
The Sad Ballad Of The Short-Lived @TotallyManU
The tragedy of Totally Man U must be a gag. No one would leave their job and spend their money just to blast out news to Manchester United fans all day, right? Right?...
Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....
Sean Hannity Segues From "Violence In Ferguson" With Nerf Football Toss
"Come back and we'll talk about the escalating violence in Ferguson, but first, who wants to see how far I can throw this football?"...
Miralem Pjanic Scores 65-Yard Goal A Day After Hitting 50-Yard FG
AS Roma's Miralem Pjanic had a pretty solid couple of days in Denver. On Saturday, he scored the absurd goal you see above in a friendly against Manchester United at Sports Authority Field. United kept a clean sheet until the 75th minute, when Pjanic boomed a ball from behind midfield as goalkeepe...
Report: Rockets Trading Jeremy Lin To The Lakers (So They Can Get Bosh)
Jeremy Lin is the first casualty in the post-LeBron NBA dogpile. Woj is reporting that the Rockets are closing out a deal with the Lakers to send Lin to the Lakers to clear out cap space to sign Chris Bosh. ...
The World Cup Teaches Germans How To Be Proud Of Germany
If you know anything about German soccer, even if you're a not a hardcore fan and only pay attention when the World Cup steams into town every four years and blows its piercing, un-ignorable whistle, I'm pretty sure you're familiar with the following narrative. It comes from the 2006 World Cup, whic...
Royals Pitchers Get Called Out By Stripper For Being Cheap Jerks
Ahead of today's game against the Twins, Royals pitchers Bruce Chen and Yordano Ventura decided spend last night at a Minnesota strip club, where they apparently acted cheap and dickish. We know this because they just so happened to have been at the same club where @FeministStripper, a stripper and ...
USA Defensive Meltdown Concedes Early Goal To Portugal's Nani
What did it take for Nani to score at this World Cup? A perfect pass to him by American Geoff Cameron....
How To Beat Portugal: A Blueprint From 2002
On Sunday, the United States will take the field against Portugal in Manaus, where, despite a dramatic victory over Ghana and Portugal's feeble showing against Germany, the Yanks will find themselves as slight underdogs....
Whatever Happened To Wayne Rooney?
Wayne Rooney is a paradox. That isn't a sentence that anyone ever supposed to write, but, well, there it is. ...
John Boye's Foot Rearranged Clint Dempsey's Face
It was an incidental injury, but after what happened to Jozy seeing another star player on the turf is the last thing any USMNT fan wanted to see. As it turns out, the injury was superficial, if painful-looking. Here's Clint Dempsey's nose being displaced in extreme slow motion....